Post # 1
I am feeling pretty upset and sad over the engagement ring. See, we went to my fiancee’s family jeweler who made a ring for us. It’s a semi-eternity band with a halo around a round stone. When I got the ring, I was quite disappointed. There are several wrong things with the ring.
1. The little stones on the band weren’t set straight.
2. The 4 prongs holding up the ring aren’t distributed equally
3. There are “scratches” visible to naked eyes on the surfac of the stone!! According to his rating, there shouldn’t be anything like this!
4. The ring was too big, which isn’t too bad.
When we addressed this, these were his responses.
1. Nothing he can do about this one.
2. Same here.
3. He re-emphasized that the marks on the stone my FI and I are seeing are just on the surfaced and will come off with cleaning. But, they are still there, totally visible to my naked eyes!!
4. He huffed and said he can resize it, but I can’t gain any weight. I wanted little balls set in the band so it won’t rotate, but he told me to suck it up and there’s nothing he can do. He did resize it to fit, but did a totally shitty job! He crated all sorts of scuffs on the band. The part that was cut is super-noticeable with a “bulge” and a big crack. I’ve gotten rings resized before, and they NEVER looked like this.
My fiance and his family won’t talk about it. They trust him and go to him for everything. I’ve been trying to just ignore all these problems, but now I am getting pretty upset. We spent a big sum for us, and it’s already so banged up and damaged. I’m starting to get worried that we were taken advantage of our trust i.e. he sold us a bad stone with a fake rating. How do I deal with this??
Post # 3
@mssc: Oh my gosh…..that’s awful. :(. I would go out on my own and find a new jeweler. I wouldn’t consult FI’s family about it, either.
Post # 4
I would tell your FI how you feel, and just take it to see another jeweller. No need to inform the rest of the family. I’m sure your FI will understand your feelings, and if he doesn’t, try propositionong it to him this way: tell him to come with you to another jeweller just to ask them what they think. If the damage is obvious, I’m sure any good jeweller wil be quick to point out the issues without you having to prod. I’m sure once he sees someone else noticing these issues, he’ll have second thoughts.
If that doesn’t go over well, I’d try showing one of his family members (especially a trusted female family member- his mother or a sister) the damage. Maybe if they see the jeweller did shotty work, they’ll call up the jeweller for you and ask him to redo the ring properly (especially since they’ve given him so much business in the past). It’s not good business for a jeweller to take advantage of returning customers!
I hope you get this all sorted out and eventually get the ring of your dreams! 🙂
Post # 5
Thanks for the support! My FI told his family I was unhappy with my ring and they’ve been making a point to praise it excessively – it’s their choice if they choose not to see the negatives. My FI won’t even take a look at the damaged spot – he’s in denial…
I will go see someone else for now to get it re-appraised and smooth out the damages. If the reappraised value is significantly lower, I will inform my FI and explore how/whether we should inform his family. My FI’s family and other people in the same community buy a lot of things from him. Our engagement gift from FI’s parents (a very expensive platter collecting dust) is from him, too. I can tell you that our wedding bands are definitely NOT coming from him.
Post # 6
@mssc: Do you have a picture?
Post # 7
If he doesn’t fix the mistakes and SHOW you a grading report for the stone, I’d demand your money back and go elsewhere. Yes, it sucks because they’re a family jeweler, but if they SUCK, it’s not your fault. You deserve a ring that’s properly made.
Post # 8
I’m sorry this is happening to you. I agree with your plan. It never hurts to have another pair of eyes discreetly take a look at it. After a little time passes I would ask to see a family member’s ring that was made by him. While admiring it you can inspect it and see if there are any obvious flaws. That might give you a clue as to his true work quality. It is possible that he is aging and “slipping” a little. I hope I said that nicely! Do you remember if you saw the scratches on your stone before it was mounted?
Post # 9
Why do you need to tell his family? Can’t you get it fixed by someone else wihtout letting them in on it? They’d never know. Obviously, don’t keep it from your FI. But why does the family need to know? My family doesn’t know where DH got my ring.
Post # 10
Oh no no no, I know this sounds harsh but if it were me I’d be telling FI that I should be his priority NOT his family’s relationship with the jeweler or the jeweler himself and if I’m not happy his focus should be on making me happy and really understanding what I was upset about or he could keep the ring, his jeweler and not me. Please know I am not that black and white but the root of this is your FI should be focused on making you happy with this or at least understanding where your upset is stemming from even if he thinks you are being unreasonable. He should be taking you and the ring to another jeweler even if his intent is to confirm he’s right and you are overreacting and hopefully by hearing the opinion of another jeweler either your fears are calmed or his eyes are opened to issues…
Hugs though, I’d be beyond frutsrated!!
Post # 11
I’d have it appraised somewhere else and if the paperwork differs from what you got from him, show him and go from there.
Post # 12
ok, regardless if this is “their” family jeweler…it sounds like he royally messed up the ring. My advice, take it some place else…end of story. Like anything…if a ring is hand made it’s not going to be perfect..HOWEVER…he shouldn’t have blown the issues off like they were nothing…that’s what would bother me.
Take it to a different jeweler…you are the one who has to wear it, it needs to be right.
Post # 13
Thanks everyone! It’s great to be able to talk about this with others.
@MoonlitMagnolia I tried taking pictures with my cell phone, but it’s not focusing right 🙁
@musician32992 Thank you!
@bnamrs4evr That is a great idea! I can ask to see my FI’s mother’s eternity band and tell her I’ve been thinking about getting one. It’s very possible that his work is slipping with age.
@MrsGatito I would tell my FI’s family b/c one of them is planning on getting an engagement ring from him and I wouldn’t want others to go through my experience…
@thirdtimeisthecharm I did end up telling my FI — details to follow…
@kayl & @megan331979