Post # 1
Our parents (both sides) keeps inviting people to the wedding. My side – my mom doesn’t even know their last names, let alone me knowing who they are. I have a tight tolerance on the guest list, only 15 people swing vote between the minumum contracted amount, and max capacity of the room.
The additions are turning me into a stress basket. I don’t want the ‘just one more’ to wind me up not being able to seat everyone.
I’ve reached the edge. I was not so nice today on the phone. I just don’t understand why they don’t understand?
Post # 3
Okay,u and your Fi have got to speak up.If there is a limit to who can fit into your venue,there is nothing wrong with saying no!!!! U have to be able to seat everyone!!
U tell your parents no more.If they dont understand that there is no more room,then u need to be blunt with them!!!
If they dont listen to u then u make sure that u and your Fiance do the ordering and addressing to the people U know u want to come and who can all fit.
My Fiance and I are deciding who even comes.Our parents havent suggested anyone!!In fact my father has told me,u dont have to invite so and so.And he said that about 10 people!!
Its your wedding.U decide who comes!!!!
And if your parent sare paying for it,then they need to step up and pay for a bigger venue.
Hope it works out.Be nice but FIRM.Oh and make sure u and your Fiance are in agreement about this before u guys go to your parents.U dont want to say something when your Fiance is saying something differently.
Hope this helps.
Post # 4
Are your parents paying for the wedding?
If not, you do not have to invite any of these people.
You can also tell them that they can go on the “B list” so that if you don’t make your minimum with RSVPs you will send out a new round of invites.
Post # 5
Did you tell your parents how many people they were allowed to invited? That seems to be a good way to handle it. Bride’s Family gets 25, Groom’s Family gets 25, Bride and Groom get 50…or something like that. Make it clear that they cannot invite any more than the amount they’ve been told and that they need to prioritize who is most important to them to be there.
Post # 6
I was going to suggest the “B list”. Tell your parents to wait and see where you are with your RSVP’s, and you will let them know if there is space after. We had this problem too, but it looks like we will have some space after all…
Post # 7
I have this problem and it’s driving me nuts too. For the whole day, I’ve only got 26 people coming, Fi has 50. It’s small so that my mum (who’s paying for food on the day) doesn’t have to pay loads. FI’s mum keeps going behind my back and telling Fiance that she really wants to invite some other people. She waits until I leave a room to whisper these things to him. I’ve never met any of these people she wants to invite yet my mum should pay for them to come? I don’t want even more people i’ve never met watching as I walk down the aisle. FI’s parents are paying for the evening and she keeps dropping this into conversation when asking if she can invite more.
My Fiance said no to her and if she thinks paying for the evening gives her the right to invite people, then we’ll pay for it ourselves. She doesn’t like it but she knows the score now….try being polite but brutally honest with them. It’s not ok to add to your guest list, even if they are paying. It’s YOUR day.