Family member controlling already!!

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

dawnE:  You have to stop that shit early. Either firmly, “Sorry, Aunt we’ve already made the decision. As for masculine, well it’s his wedding too” or nicely “Aunt, we appreciate your enthusiasm with this but we’ve already chosen our colors! You can help with flowers!” Or something…

Either way stand your ground. If you bend on this, they’ll expect you to bend on everything.

Post # 3
Member
4828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

dawnE:  For some reason people loooooooove to give their opinions on how YOUR wedding should be. It IS very annoying. I truly don’t know what happened to common decency. You’ll have to find some way to let her and possibly others know, that it’s your wedding and you’ll do as you please. But seriously, why can’t people just say, That sounds lovely???? Argh.

Post # 5
Member
250 posts
Helper bee

As some bees have said sometimes it is best to just keep some ideas to yourself and to tell people that you want them to be surprised.  I am doing navy blue, cream and gold (some pops of dark green) and everything is going to look amazing in November! Navy blue is a classic color that looks rich.  Your aunt has no idea what she is talking about.  My girls are in navy blue long dresses, guys in cambridge grey suits, my uncle in a navy suit, cream flowers with dark green foliage, ivory and gold linens, gold chiavari chairs, mismatched china, crystal glasses and other decor will have touches of gold, cream, navy and green as well as crystals and pearls. A very classic wedding with a throwback to the 50s but not in a “themed” way.  The bees here are a huge help even if you just read boards and not ask questions.  Pinterest is also a huge help. 

I would find a friend or someone who understands your vision and will help and not critisize your ideas. Maybe mom or future MIL?  Otherwise you always have the hive!

Post # 7
Member
15 posts
Newbee

You definitely need to stop that early!  You need to put your foot down.  It is YOUR (and your fiance’s) wedding day, and if you don’t stand up for yourself now, they’ll walk all over you for the entire time you are planning your wedding.

I’ve been lucky that our family has backed off and haven’t given any opinions on things (aside from just being very supportive of anything we choose to do).  However, my mother is very standoffish about the wedding.  Her step-mother controlled everything and my Mom didn’t have a say about much of anything when it came to her wedding, so she doesn’t want to be THAT mom with my wedding.

Anyway, I don’t know what’s wrong with dark blue and white.  It doesn’t sound masculine (why is blue a masculine colour anyway?).  Sounds amazing, and do what you want, because you want to look back on your day and love it! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

dawnE:  I suggest that it is a complete waste of energy trying to get other people to stop voicing their opinions. The only thing we can control is our response.

“Thanks Aunt, we’ve got that covered”.

“Thanks for the input. You’ll see the results at the wedding”.

Thanks for the suggestion”.

Post # 11
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

dawnE:  Ignore it this time. There’s no need to drag it back out for no reason. So, I don’t see the need to call her up and say “Auntie, that comment really stuck in my craw, and I’d appreciate you save those comments.”

If it happens again, just say “well, this is the way we’re going to do it. I think it will look really nice, and it is what I’ve always dreamed of.”

Anyone who argues with a bride after she mentions what she’s always dreamed of needs a talking to.

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