Post # 1
I’m newly engaged, but have been covertly wedding planning for months 😉
Our families are thrilled by our engagment and my Fiance (i hope this means fiance) both love each others families and are so excited to be geting married.
My question is this: We have decided to do a costco dessert buffet (a few types of cheesecake, tirumisu, red velvet, chocolate layer, and a few pies) and then my good friend who is a baker will be making a small 3 or 4 layer cake just for the traditional cutting, this is all covered in our food budget that my Mother-In-Law is covering. This really fits our rustic backyard style wedding and will suit all the different tastes people have. (BTW i love costco desserts!)
His uncle and aunt have generously asked to pay for our wedding cake. We don’t want to throw this gift in their faces or be greedy. Is there another area we could request/recommend them pay for that will be similar in cost (what would that be) ? We are already making so many comprimises for family that i was hoping to keep the dessert buffet. Or should we just graciously say yes and order a traditional tiered wedding cake?
Please let me know your feelings, we want to do the right thing.
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - Makena Cove
Could they contribute toward a photography budget or even your honeymoon? I’m sure you could find a justified purpose for their generosity and they’d be understanding of your dessert table dream. It sounds like your families only want the best for you guys!
Post # 4
You can tell them what you were planning and see if they still want to pay for it. If I offered to pay for my nephews wedding cake and he tells me we are having a dessert buffet instead, I wouldn’t mind paying for it if it is my budget. I really don’t think they would mind.
Post # 6
I had a cake table (5 cakes). I know it’s what you’ve planned and envisioned but I would seriously consider accepting the gift instead or as well. That is an extremely generous offer and you could still have a couple of extra Costco cakes and just have a single teir wedding cake from your Aunt. It could look really really beautiful.
Post # 7
I actually wouldn’t mind having a dessert buffet AND a wedding cake- I love sweets! You can never have too many.
That’s extremely generous and sweet of them. If you *really* don’t want a cake, perhaps ask if they’d like to cover something like the cost of an open bar, or perhaps h’orsdeurves for the cocktail hour? (I don’t have all my contracts here in front of me, but I believe the cost of our cake was close to the cost of having our open bar for about 6 hours.)
Post # 8
@rachelmichelle: whoa! That must’ve been some cake!
Post # 9
I wouldn’t tell them what else they could pay for, but mention you won’t be doing a cake and had already decided to do a dessert selection from Costco. They may offer to pay for that, or for something else, but directing them to something else to pay for seems rude to me.
Post # 10
@abbie017: Agreed. Have some suggestions in your head for if they ask about it but do not mention it out loud. Say that you are so greatful for their offer but that you had planned a dessert buffet instead of a traditional cake.
Post # 11
@KellyLouise: LOL not exactly. But now that you mention it, I do think our cake was a bit less. 😛 Our venue threw in open bar service as part of our catering package for a few dollars extra per head.
Post # 12
I also agree with those that think you shouldn’t ask them to pay for another aspect of the wedding.
You should thank them, but let them know about your dessert bar plan, if they they are ok with you using the money for that accept it, and use the money you saved in your budget towards another item.
Post # 13
If they want to give you a cake then just accept the cake. You could maybe mention that you were just planning to have a dessert bar but thanks so much for the cake. Maybe then they will offer to pay for something else, but don’t ask.
Post # 14
We had a 2 tiered wedding cake plus dessert buffet, the different options went down really well with the guests and it looked great
Post # 15
I totally think that you should be honest and tell them you weren’t planning on doing a cake, but a dessert buffet. I’m SURE they don’t care, and just want to contribute to something special. You could just inform them and ask them if they’d still wish to contribute in the same way to the dessert buffet, or if they specifically would like a cake, just have a cake in addition to the desserts. Don’t blow off their offer or hide the fact from them. They’ll find out at the wedding, one way or another, so you might as well just tell them now.
Post # 16
Thank you for the replies girls! I feel better about the situation already.
You’re right, we will just explain to them our dessert buffet plan and allow them to procede as they wish. I really truly think that the cake dessert buffet will be so inexpensive that they will be happy to pay for it instead. The dessert bar we priced will be just under $100 vs a tiered cake of $300+.