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You already have your wedding date- you don't have to fight for it. There is only one other wedding planned for this year. I am sure your families can handle 3 weddings in one year.
you don't get a season.... try not to panic until the dates are set. even then, it's not worth it to be mean to your fi's family. i hope you weren't serious about that.
This is something I never really understand, but maybe it's just because I'm not in the situation. Why should another couple be forced to put their future on hold because this is "your year/season"? "Get your own year" Really? I understand that you're frustrated. But, if I was in your shoes I would tread lightly on the matter, and I certainly wouldn't intentionally be mean to someone who will soon be a part of my family. You get a day. Take the energy you're wasting and put it towards something positive.
@Carliej01: I get how it can be annoying, but you shouldn't consider it as "your season." Consider this, what if you guys were the last ones to get engaged but decided to get married in the fall? They would get annoyed too. I've been in the same situation, but in the end, things will just fall into place so just chill.
Let all family members know your date in a non-catty way. That way, when the newly engaged couple starts picking dates, they won't go for your date/weekend.
Seriously though, you do NOT get a season. I am going to two weddings in May and my own is in September. They are all the same social group. I'm actually anticipating a save the date or two more for September/October. Multiple wedding years happen.
The family has plenty of time to save up for plane tickets if they don't have enough savings to do so. Not to mention flights from New England to FL are super cheap booked in advance. Sounds like you're also (perhaps rightly) peeved that their relationship is immature and young to get married. The problem is, you're not worried about their marriage, you just want them to wait as long as you did so that they'd have their wedding much later. Sigh
Just a funny note- I'm getting married September 8th and it's summer, not fall. You may just get "your" season after all.
I agree with PPs. You get one day, not a year, not a season. I would politly make sure that they know your wedding date and leave it at that. If you're getting married early September, they can still get married in late October and have a fall wedding with plenty of time inbetween. And who knows, maybe they'll plan for fall of next year since they've only been dating for 6 months.
Am I wrong to be upset about this?
Absolutely, 100% wrong.
IT'S OUR SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You get ONE DAY, not a SEASON.
For anyone who actually reads this, please let me know how you would handle a situation like this? I would hate for this to turn into a slap-down of the brides, but I'm not afraid to fight for my wedding date either.
You don't have anything to handle. People can get married any day of the year. I doubt any of them are planning to do it on the same day as you.
Stop being a bridezilla.
Normally I can atleast see where the bride is coming from when these rants are posted. Often times I even agree with her (like when siblings are getting married within weeks of each other) but your attitude is kinda crappy. You don’t get a whole season, you get one day. I know the whole “one day” mentality is annoying since it really isn’t just one day but unless his cousin is planning their wedding for the week before or after yours, there’s really nothing to complain about. Yes, some guests may have to choose but that’s life. If you’re that concerned then I would probably work on getting your STD’s out asap so that everyone knows that your date is set in stone.
I got married on 10/8/2011, and you know what I did the 3 weekends prior to my own wedding? Went to other people's weddings. 1 was an actual cousin, one was a very close family friend (closer than family, actually) and one was an old neighborhood friend. My parents also attended these weddings, 4 weekends in a row. The main guest list overlap was with my actual cousin, and all the aunts and uncles that were invited to both her wedding and my wedding came to both. I know it seems stressful now, but don't let it get to you - for most guests, a wedding is a one day affair, and they are capable of going to multiple weddings in a season.
Sorry, but you dont get a season, you dont even get a month. Are you willing to move your date? Probably not, you dont want to put your marriage and life on hold as much as anyone else. And getting engaged in Oct and Dec is no where near close.
You get one day for your wedding. Personally, I have about 50 first cousins, with a good dozen around my age. If we each took our own season or year, some would have to put off their marriage for years. You cannot expect someone to put their lives on hold just because you are getting married. And just because they only dated for 6 months, doesn't make your relationship more legit, some people don't want to wait and just want to get married before starting their lives. Now, if they plan it for the same day as your, you can be upset, but the other 364 days aren't yours to claim.
As long as the other wedding is not scheduled for the same day, or on the same weekend but in a different city, I don't think there should be a problem.
Lol, my DH's family had ourselves and two cousins get married within 10 WEEKS of each other. If DH and I had waited one week, we'd have all been in the same season, the horror!
Did it bug me? Yes, but only when dumb cousin put her bridal shower 5 days before my wedding, instead of many other more convenient times for that side of the family (many of the people she invited were at yet another cousin's graduation two states away the weekend prior) so her picking that weekend was quite rude, in that it made about 2 dozen people have to travel three weekends in a row.
But as far as the weddings, everything worked out. So sorry, but I don't think you can expect to get a whole season to yourself.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude but I don't know why so many girls get so bothered that other people would like to get married in a certain month! You get a DAY. You are marrying the man you love. This is a special, happy time. Why waste your time being angry that other people would like to marry the one's they love "too close" to your date?
If you're this upset already, I think you're setting yourself up for a very stressful year.
I was married a month before my cousin and his fiancee. They were engaged first, so I checked with them before setting a date (they hadn't set a date yet). My cousin told me, "I'm so excited that we get to do this together," and i felt the same way. Provided it's not two weekends in a row for a large number of OOT guests, it's really not a burden on anyone.
Try to think of something else, and consider how you would feel if someone wanted you to wait an extra six months to get married so that they could have a "season" to themselves.
I wouldn't stress about it. You and your FI have your date set. You're making plans. You only have to show up and have fun at the other weddings.
My cousin and I are getting married about 3 weeks apart - I got engaged a full year after her. I e-mailed her to see if she would mind me setting a date so close. Her answer: "I'm so happy for you two! Thanks for thinking of us, but feel free to get married whenever you want!"
THAT is how you should be responding to the other couple thinking about the same season as you.
I would be irritated too. I am in the same boat. Me and my Fiance got engaged last year and now, 3 other family members (including his little sister) have gotten engaged since then. One of them is even getting married the weekend before ours! So I totally feel you. All I can say is to concentrate on YOUR wedding. That day will be all about YOU and nobody else. 3 others weddings wont make YOUR wedding any less special =)
Well first, I find it really rude that you are judging this person's engagement and upcoming wedding. Maybe he really truly loves this woman and wants to marry her, not "just to get in her pants."
Second, your season????!!!!! I can't even... I mean... just, wow. No.
I've been to a lot of weddings in the same season. It's no.big.deal.
You need to chill out.
As a family member who is experiencing this right now, I have to say that most families are not made of money, so if there were a few times in one year I was being asked to fly,get a hotel, and send gifts for both pre-wedding parties plus wedding gifts, I'd be a little annoyed. Each wedding I attend costs on average $1000.+ (and those are local), so to spread them out a little would be pretty nice and much appreciated.
I haven't ever heard of a bride expecting a 'season', tho.
I see that you wrote this at about 2am. I'm assuming you were just not thinking straight because it was quite late and you may have had a glass or two of wine.
A SEASON? That's ridiculous. "Forced to be mean?" A "slap-down of the brides?" Are you a crazy person?
Please go back and re-read your post and re-evaluate your feelings about the situation, then come back and tell us you feel calmer and more secure. I think you're getting the side eye from a lot of Bees right now. Feel better.
When hubby and I got engaged, two of his cousins had already gotten engaged and they ended up setting their dates before us (August 27 & October 21). We also wanted to get married in the fall and didn't want to wait an additional year so we planned ours right in the middle (Sept. 24). Everyone in our family completely understood that when you have a large family with a lot of people around the same age, it's kind of bound to happen. No one was mad, they just realized we were all doing the best we could to fit our weddings in. If we were able to manage three weddings over three months without our families flipping out, maybe you should reevaluate your own issues with the situation....
@sweetcrackers: those are the exact phrases that stuck out to me... especially the "forced to be mean" comment. Ugh. Seriously.
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I'm just a little irritated with Fi's family... UGH!!!
So, FI's sister proposed to her girlfriend in October and they're planning their commitment ceremony for the end of March. It's a destination wedding, so there will be a lot of the family that can't make it. We really couldn't be happier for them because they've been together for like 10 years!
Well FI proposed to me on my birthday (December 9th), but I found out that he had this planned since September, so both of our engagements falling so close were totally random. Before we were even officially engaged, we had an idea that we wanted to get married around September (and our date is officially set for Sept. 8th) Well, right before Christmas, FI's cousin proposed to his long-time girlfriend. We all had an idea that this was happening, however he's in law school and she just started grad school so they're planning a long engagement. No big deal, Happy, Happy, Happy...
Well FI's other cousin (the engaged one's younger brother) proposed to his girlfriend of 6 months last week (As their Nanny was in open heart surgery) and apparently made a comment about getting married in the fall!!!! WTF!!!! THIS YEAR IS ALREADY TAKEN FOR WEDDINGs!!! GET YOUR OWN YEAR, DAMN IT!!! I'm so irritated and confused as to why they would even consider this, aside from the fact that they barely know each other (and the fact that he wants to get in her pants, but she's a devout Catholic who won't have sex before she's married, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that at all, but comments were made by him about this situation that were a little inappropriate...) FI has a ton of family from New York/ New Jersey and it's like they have absolutely no consideration for the fact that there are already two wedding in the family this year!!! We don't need/want two in one damn season!
Am I wrong to be upset about this? I mean, I know that nothing is planned for them yet, but to know that they would consider something like that makes me sick to my stomach. I honestly feel that if they were to officially plan something close to our wedding, I would lose my shit. I may actually be forced to be mean to a member of FI's family, and I get along with everyone in his family! I've been putting a lot of time into this wedding already with searching online, going to bridal shows, planning guests lists and save-the-dates. I just feel like them having a wedding close to our will force family to choose between one or the other, and that's not fair. IT'S OUR SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry this is so long, I just needed to vent...
For anyone who actually reads this, please let me know how you would handle a situation like this? I would hate for this to turn into a slap-down of the brides, but I'm not afraid to fight for my wedding date either.