Post # 1
(i am posting this on behalf of my good friend Emily who does not have an account here – the following is written in her words)
HELP! FI and I are getting married the 2nd week of September and we chose not to invite certain members of my family… I have 4 relatives (my aunt, step-uncle, their daughter and her husband) who have been really rude and cruel to FI and us through our 7+ year relationship. (basically their daughter and me are very close in age and they have always pitted us against one another and have started spreading rumours about me in an attempt to make her “look better” than me)
They have spread rumours, started fights, and shared nasty and untrue information about us throughout the family. Needless to say we chose not to invite them to our wedding. Now, some of my other family members are mad at FI and I because we “should have invited them” because they are family, regardless of the past and current issues we have with them. We are having a relatively small wedding (80 people) and we were not too keen on having people who have been downright rude and nasty to us at our wedding. Also these people have not showed up to our other family weddings despite RSVPing yes – between my brother, my sister and my cousin we estimate their non-show antics have cost a combined total of $650 over the years.
I am having a major guilt trip right now. HELP!
Post # 3
Stick to your guns. Do you want to risk them starting drama on your big day?
Post # 4
Look, it doesn’t matter if you were having 300 guests, all of them should be people who are happy for you and whom you want there. With a wedding so far away, I have to ask, how does other family know they aren’t invited?
I’d just tell others that you haven’t finalized your guest list. I agree with luvmysailor, stick to your guns!!
Post # 5
This isn’t a matter of blood being thicker than water. They have not behaved like family, so it’s obvious that they do not want to be treated that way!
Post # 6
If someone is disrespectful enough to be rude about your FI they shouldn’t expect to be invited. Just because someone is family, shouldn’t mean they are automatically invited. It’s your day, share it with the people you want 🙂
Post # 7
It’s your wedding so you invite whomever you want in attendance that you cannot imagine the day without. If someone else doesn’t like your choice, too bad.
Post # 8
I think you’re doing the right thing, and the idea that simply being family absolves them of their behavior is the reason people can get away with this.
Of the 18 brothers and sisters my parents have combined, 4 were invited to our wedding because only 4 of them have had any positive interest in our lives while we were growing up. The rest were maicious or simply didn’t care.
Oh, and my own grandparents were also not invited for the same reason.
And we had a fabulous, drama-free day. So don’t worry – an aunt and some cousins is nothin’. 🙂