I have been looking through the boards and finding a lot on family-only-ceremonies/friends reception. My fiance and I are hoping to keep the entire event (both ceremony and reception) to just family. Even our very best friends will not be invited.
Has anyone else taken this route? How did you ease tensions surrounding friends who considered themselves family? For us, we are only invited blood-related and in-laws. Thanks!
@TwoOneFive: we were gong to, but I'm closer to some of my friends then I am to family, so we didn't do it
I am definately closer to my friends than family. I may talk to my family once in a blue moon, but friends weekly. My friends would probably take it pretty hard. Just depends on your friends.
@TwoOneFive: I am having a family only wedding with hopefully less than 40 guest. I explained it to all my friends in an email. Some Bees thought that was tacky but I felt like these friends deserved an additional explanation other than just no invitation. They all took it well with the exception of my one single close friend because she introduced us. The others understood I think mainly because they were all married and knew how expensive a wedding with both friends and family would be.
Also, they all knew I didn't want to have a wedding and FI's mother is doing the vast majority of the planning and funding.
Just curious is there a specific reason you are wanting an only family wedding? I am having a tiny wedding of only 20 people and although it is almost all family- I had to have my 2 best friends as my MOHs to keep me sane! If an only family wedding is what you and your FI want then I say it's your day make it look like you want it too.
@RabbitBride: We'd like a smaller wedding for a ton of reasons. I'm an introvert so I never really liked the idea of being the center of attention in a big crowd. Also, as we've attended more and more weddings, there just seems to be so much griping--complaints about expenses, the groom/bride, the food, etc. Everyone says they want an invite but then just complain about the affair. It's even more baffling to me when complaining guests go on to become demanding bridezillas. I've never understood this phenomenon, and I don't want to replicate any of it.
We would love to have our very best friends there but since these friends are part of larger friend circles, it would open the flood gate to inviting everyone. So we are keeping it to just family as a way to create a very definable boundary. I also want the day to just be relaxed with enough time for us to actually eat and spend time with people.
Well, in a way it will make it easier, I think, because then you won't have to pick and choose which friends to invite... less of a chance of them being offended if they're all being treated in the same way!
@TwoOneFive: Maybe you and your FI can have a "reception" type of party after the two of you are married? Just a thought and it keeps everyone happy? :)
Our wedding was only family and the bridal party (some friends). I thought it was a good balance - inviting friends can add a lot of people to the guest list.
Well all of those are valid reasons. My fiance does noy like being the center of attention either so he wanted a smaller wedding. I agreed to it but then we were having a hard time making distinctions and draing lines about which friends and family. That is a good part of why we picked the destination wedding. We picked a place that we loved and it had a package for 18 guests and the bride and groom. When we counted up who we wanted there (immediate family + 2 best friends) it was exactly 18. It was great that we could spend time with our families together and have my 2 friends there for me. We did decide when we get back to have a big party for everyone- but this is going to be really casual like a picnic or BBQ 2 monthes later over the summer.
Again if you want just family and are fine with no friends then do it!! Once you have the lines drawn it makes it a lot less stressful. Good Luck!
@TwoOneFive: we are having family plus invited a few best friends each he has 4 that can make it, i have none coming for various reasons. im so happy it willl be pretty much family it just feels better somehow. ours ix in the town where my family lives & all our friends r in our hometown (500 miles) so that was sort of a good excuse too that we didnt want to expect people to travel all that way, we will be having a housewarming party (just bought a house) & show photos for those who want to c when we get back. also a heap of people we know r doing the same everyone knows how expensive weddings can be & most people totally understand.
All these ideas sound great! I'm excited about my family-only wedding too. It HAS been a bit awkward breaking the news to friends who have blatantly said "but i'm pretty much your family" or said "Does that mean I can come?" A line has to be drawn somewhere...everyone always told me that the wedding day was our day (meaning my FI and mine) but then, they get mad when they aren't allowed to make decisions. It makes no sense.
@TwoOneFive: I know, it's so silly when they say, "It's your day, do what you want as long as we're invited." So far, only one friend seems offended that she wasn't invited. She's the one who introduced us but like you said, we had to draw the line somewhere. Our best friends aren't even invited. We had to keep it consistent.
My cousin had her wedding as a family only ceremony and reception and she had a huge BBQ mini recepion type of thing at her house with her FI and invited all their friends over for drinks and some food. She said it was really relaxed and chill, but she did give an invitation to everybody for the party at her house a month or two before. She said it overall was a successful party, so maybe try something like this?
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