family problem

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

KapOct18:  Or, you could have a lovely intimate wedding with immediate families only.

Post # 3
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

KapOct18:  I totally agree with julies1949:  . Just because you have an extended family of 100 people doesn’t mean you need to invite them all. The problem with eloping is that you deny those closest to you the chance to be at your wedding.

Post # 6
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

What does your fiancée think?

Does he want the wedding that’s already being talked about or does he want to elope?

If he doesn’t have a problem with it, there’s no need to elope or have a private ceremony. You can, and probably should, have the the style of wedding that you want if that’s the case. 

Post # 7
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My husband had 4 of his family members/family friends at our wedding due to his parents’ drama. I had about 25 relatives and family friends attend. My husband wanted a big wedding even if none of his relatives came. for us it also worked out well because we had about 70 friends attend who were a good mix of his friends and mine. You should talk to you FI to have him start thinking about what he prefers. 

Post # 8
Member
2516 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

KapOct18:  I don’t think you are selfish by having a larger family-you cannot control it!

I would just ask him how he feels about it- his family is now you family and vise versa- He might be happy to have a larger reception!

If he feels awkward or weird then elope. I don’t think you should feel bad that you have a lot of people to invite- you can’t help how large your family is. I also don’t recommend NOT inviting people you want there. 

Just talk to him! He probably already figures your side will dominate anyway lol

Post # 9
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly as long as he doesn’t mind, I’d have the wedding with your big family. Don’t take away from your family just because his isn’t as big. (Unless it makes him nervous or something)

Post # 10
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Families come in all shapes and sizes.  The important part is how much of his family is there?  100%?  GREAT!  That is all of his family.  SO WHAT if it’s 4 people?

I am one of 4 and two of my brothers are married, and both have little girls.  My fiancee is one of 3, with one married, no kids.  I have 3 mobile and living grandparents, he has 1.

 

Should I feel bad that right off the bat I have 12 guests and he has 6?  To change the numbers even further, we each agreed upon 3 friends.  My friends are married or have kids so add 12 to my number.  Of his 3 friends one is married, add 4 to his.

that leaves me with 24 guests and him with 10.  And while we each have a set of sibilings not comming, that leaves him with  8 and me with 22. 

Yet we are very happy with that.  My important people will be there, and so will his.

 

To say that you should cancel your wedding becuase he “only” has 4 family members is disgusting.  That’s like saying small families are not real families.  Now, if he wants you to not invte your cousins (just do sibilings) to keep it small, that’s another matter.  But discounting him for his family and friend size isn’t ok.

Post # 11
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Unless he objects, go with your 100 and his 4.  Tell everyone, that there will be no bride’s side or grooms side at church or temple.  Other than parents in front row, everyone should sit where they want.  If you are really concerned, find a venue with no center aisle, and enter from the side.

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