- 3 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
Hi guys. Tricky divorced parent drama. Looking for new ideas…
I know not everyone does this but my FI and I liked the idea of having our families (maybe the grandparents first–only 2 sets left, then his parents, then mine) process in at the beginnning. We’re not having ANY bridal party (none at all, not even MOH or BM). We wanted to have the families process in first 1) to include and acknowledge out families since we’re cutting out a lot of other traditional things (Dad not walking with me, probably no parent dances), and 2) to have some buffer/anticipation before I come in. I also think I might have one of my cousins (either a 3 yr old or an 8 yr old) walk with one of the “Here comes the Bride” signs.
My parents are still married, and since my Dad is not walking with me, he can just escort my mom in. Easy. Here’s the issue. FIs parents are divorced. His mother is not remarried, and we figured that FIs brother could escort her in. His father is unfortunately remarried. Neither of us can stand the woman at all for many reasons– and frankly, she doesn’t like FI either says many disparaging things, and basically she’s not family. We do not even use the word “step” because she is not family. She is his father’s wife. And that’s it. Frankly, if we thought his father would come alone, we wouldn’t have even invited her, but we did invite her, and her two sons, to be polite and “do the right thing.” But the bottom line and we don’t feel at ALL comfortable including her in our wedding ceremony. So we’re not really sure how to handle this and have it not suck.
These are the options we’ve come up with so far:
1) We have the father’s horrible wife walk with him — which we both HATE this idea because we don’t want to include someone that we hate that hates us in our wedding ceremony.
2) We don’t have any of the family process in. Which is not what we want and is basically rearranging all of our plans because of HER. Which also seems awful.
3) I thought about just having our Mom’s process in. But since I’m not walking with my dad, I feel like this would exclude him in particular and I felt bad about that.
4) For actual immediate family we each hace the 2 parents and 1 sibling. FIs brother would already be included in the plan because since FIs mother is not remarried, he would escort her. I was thinking, so as not to only exclude my sister, that we could ask for FIs father to escort my sister to her seat. That way we’ve include all and only the immediate family, so my sister isn’t the only immediate family excluded and FIs father’s evil wife doesn’t need to be involved since she’s not family.
Right now we’re strongly leaning toward option 4. It seems to be the only one that doesn’t SUCK and that we can justify in some reasonable way (so we don’t leave out my sister). Does this idea sound completely crazy? Does anyone have any other interesting alternative ideas?!
I do understand that just “sucking it up and including her” is the “right thing to do. But how many of you guys would want someone that you and your FI hate that also hates you and your FI to be a part of your wedding ceremony? It sucks, and I’m hoping to harvest the power of the hive to come up with ALTERNATIVE ideas. Thanks!!