Family processional with divorce drama…

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Eradicatereality:  How about your FI’s dad escorts your mother and your father escorts FI’s mother? And your sister and FI’s brother can go together too. 

Post # 4
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly, I would do option 1.  Option four seems very funky, and done only to exclude her. 

Post # 5
Member
2962 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Eradicatereality:  Every family has their issues. I was in a very similar situation only it was DH’s mom NO one could stand. No one is there for her and she will be the last thought on your mind on the day of your wedding. Maybe your FI could walk in the middle of his mom and dad down the aisle? But I feel like that would only cause more problems with your FI’s dad’s new wife. Sometimes you have to be the bigger person to have peace on your wedding day. Even though my DH’s mom caused a scene with my photographer and left our wedding right after our first dance, I can smile because I was happy and my happiness only made her more miserable 🙂

 

 

 

Post # 6
Member
3677 posts
Sugar bee

If your FI’s parents have an amicable relationship, they could still walk together even though not married (since they are, after all, both the parents of the groom). They could even both walk in with him.

If not, maybe have his mom with your dad and vice versa, and your siblings together? Very symbolic of joining the two families.

Post # 7
Member
6960 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Eradicatereality:  Option 4 seems like the best one, but does definitely show that you are purposely excluding her. Unfortunately, if they are married the only thing that REALLY makes sense is for him to walk in with her. 

Another (not at all perfect) option would be for each of the parents to walk in seperately. 

Or… you could skip the processing in and have a unity candle or something, and have each of your ACTUAL parents bring up a candle to light. 

Post # 8
Member
6960 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@KCKnd2:  Oh I like that idea… mix and match!

Post # 9
Member
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I really like the idea of having FI walk in with his parents on either side of him! That’s actually what we’re doing, though not because of divorce, haha.

In our relationship, MY parents are divorced, only my dad remarried, and it was quite the project getting our processional sorted out. We solved our issues with grandparents, not sure if you have any of those who will be present! 🙂

Post # 10
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Eradicatereality:  Be the classier person here and just deal with it.  Trying to single her out will only call attention to her and make it more likely that she will cause a scene or have hurt feelings.  Just let your FI’s father walk her down the aisle; he married the damn woman.

Post # 11
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Eradicatereality:  I like option 4 but if anything tell have your FI talk to his parents and let them know that you want just the parents walking down together and thats all and they will have to walk a few feet together then sit down. We are doing some of the traditional dances and one of them being the group dance. FI parents are divorce and his father is remarried. For this dance we are having his parents dance together for one song for their son and after that they do not have to dance or talk or anything after that. FI still has to talk to them which could be interesting more over with his father but again its for one little thing. I’m sure his parents and walk a few steps. They dont even have to talk just put a smile on their face.

Post # 12
Member
42453 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Eradicatereality:  There is no way to justify leaving his father’s wife out of the equation.

If the thought of her being part of your ceremony is too big a pill for you to swallow, then I would focus on the ceremony starting after you walk in.

Post # 15
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

” Our wedding day is her oldest son’s birthday apparently (and she is telling EVERYONE this over and over, because it’s very very important to her to announce it), and FI wants to suggest to his father that maybe she should go elsewhere that day to celebrate her son’s birthday. That’s how bad it is now.”

this.  Shes looking for an out too. Give it to her.  Have FI tell his dad that its okay for her to celebrate her sons birthday somewhere else, that you two understand.  Let FI’s dad know that he is still very much part of the wedding as you love him immensely, the same way that his wife wants to love on her sons on their day SOMEWHERE ELSE. I think FI’s dad is probably thinking shes being a pita too, no? then ask fi dad to escort your sister.

If this is too wierd, you could do this – and everybody would probably be happy.

if she still wants to go to your wedding – let her be escorted down the aisle with her sons on either side, with no music, nothing. they will look like guests. start up the music after they sit. Have FI dad escort your sister as planned with music… and i love the idea of you meeting your spouse halfway. My daughter did that and it was absolutely a special moment when he looked at her, took her hand, and they walked up together. Just as they should in life…


good luck!

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