Post # 1
A few members of fiance’s family are refusing to come to the wedding because he is not marrying a Catholic. I consider myself simply Christian, evangelical, if anything. Fiance was raised Catholic, but is starting to become more…..culturally Catholic, he shares more of my views than Catholic views. Apparently they blame that on me (it started long before he met me), as evidenced by a nasty note I got on an RSVP card. How do you deal with things like this?
Post # 3
The more important question is, how do you feel and how does your fiance feel? You are the ones in the marriage and you shouldn’t let what other members of his family think help dictate what your marriage will be like. Is it is his immediate family (parents, siblings) or his aunts, grand parents, cousins?? Let your fiance talk to them, that’s the best he can do. If they don’t change their mind, well, go on with your wedding and have fun with the folks that do show up.
Post # 4
We are both fine with each other’s faith. I don’t think it’ll always be easy, but right now we’re at peace with our differences. It’s just the wedding itself that has me upset. It really, really, really upsets me when people say I’m not a Christian.
Post # 5
Are you having a Catholic wedding? Normally, people like that just want to see you go through the rituals of the “right” thing to do regardless of your personal beliefs. If you’re not having a Catholic wedding, then I can see why lots of his family is upset, as that would mean your FI will be “living in sin” by living with you as if he’s married even though he hasn’t gone through the Catholic sacramant of marriage.
Honestly there will be nay-sayers at every turn in your life, and you can either let them bring you down, or you can rise above their criticism. Personally, I would just ignore the nasty comments on their RSVPs, mark them down as “not attending” on your list, and throw out the RSVPs.
Post # 6
@jenbrandner: Things like that make me want to call off the wedding. I’m really close right now after reading that. I know this will make me unpopular, but who do Catholics think they are?! Talk about dividing the Christian Church.
I guess I’m done here. I can’t read anymore or I really will call the whole thing off.
Post # 7
I am Catholic and chose not to have my wedding in the church for many reasons. Knowing how my family feels, I knew I would get declines for that reason. FI probably knew that would happen.
THe “nasty note” isn’t really appropriate, but if just says they won’t be coming because of their religious beliefs then you can’t really blame them for not coming. Also, where you are getting married is probably more important the your religion.
Post # 8
@starrynight: You deal with it by focusing on why you are getting married in the first place: for you and the FI. Everything else is just extra that you can choose to take or leave.
It is not the note that has made you upset. It is the emotion you chose to give it that has upset you. Take a different perspective and choose again.
Post # 9
I am not catholic but my FI is. My aunts, uncles and most of my cousins are not attending our wedding because FI is a catholic. I feel your pain. This experience forced us to look closely at what we really want from religion in our marriage. The hard part is not letting your families choices affect your happiness, I know I am still really depressed that they will not be at our wedding. Good luck
Post # 10
YOu sound very pissed off. However, I am just a human being like your future family ,learn to let it go, if your life is invested in Christ than you will show it by the way you convey yourself.
It is one thing to be say you are a Christian or Catholic by word only , and a true person in God by showing through actions.
All religions are interlocked because we worship the same God in some religious faiths he is Jehovah, Father, holy spirit, Allah , Jesus. One thing we are share is that we adore the same being.
It might be that he shares some of your views because he probably sees aspect of the religion he was raised in probably not fitting his lifestyle anymore.
I leave you with these biblical verse,
“Man and wife will become one “