(Closed) Family says I can’t have a shower.

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hmm… I’m sorry but I agree with your family.  You decided to elope and one of the down sides is that you don’t get to have the big white wedding with all of the trimmings and all the pre-wedding parites.  Congrats on your marriage though!

Post # 4
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with your family too.  Sorry 🙁

Post # 5
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Also agree. You made the choice to elope, and that comes with the territory.  I absolutely would not attend a shower for someone who eloped a year ago.  Sorry hun.

Post # 6
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Also agree.  Sorry.  By eloping (and there are lots of good reasons to elope!) you kind of negated all of the pre-wedding celebrating.  🙁 If you’re having a reception, it’s likely you’ll get gifts there. 

What are you hoping for out of your shower? Gifts, girl-time, seeing family members? 

Post # 7
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I also agree with your family.  It was your choice to elope, and when you elope you give up certain things, like a shower.  Having a shower would appear gift-grabby.

Post # 8
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I was going to say, you should get a shower, as I think it’s probably one of the funner things about being a bride.  But I see their points.  Could you just do a casual party with friends/family and say “no gifts”? 

Post # 9
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

It sucks, but yeah I don’t think you can have a shower. 🙁

@hassle_J:  I think this is a good idea, although I don’t know what you’d call such a party?

Post # 10
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@NicoleMatt100111:  I’m with your family, I’m sorry.

I think you’ll find that most girls on the boards who eloped a while before the wedding don’t expect gifts. You can have a party, but the whole point of a shower is gifts.

Post # 11
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Hmm yeah.. I agree with your family.

Post # 12
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Agree with your family – that ship has sailed.  Bridal showers are by definition for brides to be, which, as a married woman, you are not. 

Post # 13
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

agree with your family.

Post # 14
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@hassle_J:  

@DeathByDesign:  

As a married woman, if she wants en excuse to get together with a bunch of girlfriends,  she can have any kind of party that any other married woman might have.  She can invite people over for a wine tasting.  Sunday brunch.  Cocktail party.  Dinner party.  Pool party.  Backyard BBQ.

… just not anything that has to do with her wedding, which happened a year ago.  And not anything that carries the social obligation of bringing a gift (other than a small hostess gift like you’d bring to any “regular” party).

Post # 15
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I personally would not attend a “bridal” shower if I knew the couple was already married. It is one of the things that goes by the wayside when one elopes.

Post # 16
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have to agree with your family unfortunately. 

On a lighter note, everytime I see this thread, I think in my head that your family won’t let you shower lol I’m not sure why.

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