Family Sponsors for our wedding

posted 3 years ago in Latino
Post # 3
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@ddabney:  Don’t solicit people for money for your wedding! And don’t post that on a wedding website. You can ask your parents and his parents if they are willing/able to make a financial contribution, but beyond that, I think it would be really bad to solicit the general public for wedding donations. 

Post # 4
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sponsers/padrinos are a cultural thing. But it’s still best to let people offer instead of approaching them yourself.

Post # 7
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@ddabney:  Since you’re not latina yourself, I’d ask your FMIL how her family normally approaches sponsers. You’ll definitely want to honor them in the program and the website, but don’t put a price tag on their participation that everyone can see. 

Here’s an example I liked on a website: http://www.stanford.edu/~meneriz/WEDDING/padrinos.html

Post # 8
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@ddabney:  Pretty sure she is responding to your original post about putting a solicitation on your wedding website.

If it’s normal in your family, they will approach you. Asking for money to sponsor your wedding seems very strange to me, and I don’t see any polite way to ask people to give you money to hold an event like a wedding.

Post # 9
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@ddabney:  It’s rude to ask so there really isn’t a way to recommend to do it. I’m sure people understand how expensive a wedding is and will offer what they feel comfortable with to support you. Even if you do not have specific areas of the wedding paid for and it is rude to anticipate presents, you KNOW you’ll get gifts.

Post # 10
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think she meant don’t post it on YOUR wedding website, not this one.

Post # 11
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@ddabney:  All I did was say that putting it on your wedding website isn’t a wise decision. Sorry to have offended you. I was merely answering your question. When you post questions on this site, you have to be prepared for answers that you may not like. Sorry I disagree with the concept. 

Post # 12
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Scottish Rite Cathedral (New Castle, PA)

@ddabney:  I think you might have been better off posting this in one of the cultural sections. The majority of Bees will think this is very poor etiquette because it’s very out of the norm for them. With that being said, I’m Filipino and it’s traditional to have “sponsors” though not usually for money but for support throughout the marriage and to be honored at the wedding (listed in the invite, walk down the aisle, participate in the cord and veil ceremonies, etc). I don’t know how it generally works in your circle but for us we ask our sponsors personally, maybe buy them dinner or a special visit to see them if they’re far, overall just in person and formally. Then, if they offer to help or contribute that’s great! Many do offer to cover something (they’ll buy the cake or pay for the DJ or whatever they choose. I’d leave it that way personally. Asking explicitly for money can be awkward for people, I think it’s safer to let them offer or give them a chance to discuss what they’d like to do and then offer than to put them on the spot. Like I said, I don’t know if it works similarly for you guys or not, I’d check with his family or siblings to see what’s typical. 

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