Family trying to drop by without calling…am I rude?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
723 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@SparkleSun:  Hmmm, well if it were me, I would try to subtly drop the hint that if you want to see us, you’re going to need to give us a heads up. Maybe you can actually invite them over, and say something along the lines of, “We love spending time with you; I know it can be tough at times because we’re always so busy and rarely home (hint, hint). We’ll have to do a better job of setting up dates to get together in advance so we can make it happen more often!” 

I would at least start there because it may do the trick, but if they ignore your requests and it continues, you may have to be more direct. Best of luck!

Post # 4
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@SparkleSun:  There is nothing wrong with having a polite spine.

Call your Aunt and Uncle, explain that you were not home or never heard their knocking and you are sorry about that. BUT, you love them and want them in the future to CALL YOU before the come over.

If they drop by one day, it’s ok to go to the door and say “We love for you to come in, but now is not a good time.”

Post # 5
Member
641 posts
Busy bee

Well, I’d start by calling your relatives out on it, honestly. In a polite way.

“Oh my goodness! I was talking with the family the other day (Keep vague. Don’t call out the people who are communicating problems to you.) and I heard that you were feeling ignored! I’m so sorry that there has been a miscommunication. We work some pretty wild schedules, and we weren’t home during the times that you came by unannouced. In the future, please just drop me a call or text beforehand, so we don’t encounter this again. That way you aren’t wasting your time on a trip, and I can make sure I’m ready to receive company.”

Invite them over for dinner, have a wonderful evening, and if the issue repeats, hold firm on how necissary it is that you not receive unannouced visits.

Post # 6
Member
1706 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@SparkleSun:  I don’t understand at all how people think it’s ok to just ‘show up’ at your door.  I mean really…what IF you were in the middle of sex, or naked in your house, or even in the middle of an argument?  I mean what gives anyone the right to think they can just show up unannounced at someones home and expect to be invited in like it’s no big deal?

My mom has a key to our place because she sometimes watches the cats etc, and a few times she’d text from the driveway like “hey mind if I stop in?” and then just open the door and come on in.  Really?  Like what if we’re shooting a porno 😉 just kidding but still!!  I had to  tell her it’s rude, you need to give a heads up, you have no idea what is going on, and I’d prefer that you and your bf don’t walk into our house while we’re doin it!

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