Family vacation argument!

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@caribbean_lover:  Ooh, yuck. I have to say, you probably shouldn’t have offered the trip to your parents without checking with your in-laws first, but that seems an innocent mistake. Everything thereafter was terrible behavior on your FIL’s behalf. Especially having your parents call him. 

If it were me, I’d probably cancel the trip myself unless he was willing to apologize to your parents. BUT, if your DH doesn’t think it’s okay to cancel, I don’t know that I’d do. I wouldn’t want to permanently damage my relationship with my in-laws, but I do think he ought to apologize.

Post # 4
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Ouch.  Personally I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you telling your parents about the cruise.  If you had invited them to the private beach house that would be one thing, but this is a big boat open to the public for anyone to book a trip on. 

First I would apologize to my parents for how FIL treated them.  Explain you had no idea he would be so rude to them and you feel very bad about it.  I wouldn’t go on the trip since FIL is being such an ass about it.  Unless your DH thinks that would cause a big longlasting problem.  If so I would go, but spend a lot of time apart from FIL.  That might be a bit passive aggressive but at least you could enjoy some of the trip that way without FIL there reminding you of all this uglyness.

Post # 5
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

How rude of your FIL! If it were me, I definitely would not go.

 If someone can’t treat my family with respect, then I feel they’re disrespecting me. 

Post # 6
1838 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

geez. your FIL is being totally ridiculous. he does not own the cruise boat. there will be thousands of people on it.  who cares if two of them are your parents?

Post # 7
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow, your FIL sounds like a dick! Granted, maybe you should have run the idea by him first, he was way out of line and totally disrespectful.  Are they paying for you and your husband to go on the vacation? If so, then I’d say yes you definitely should have asked him before inviting your parents.  If not, then it does change things a bit, but I think a heads up out of respect for him would have been nice as well.

Personally, I wouldn’t go on the trip afterwards. if DH wants to go he can alone.

Post # 8
2915 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Wow…I’m speechless!

Post # 9
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I would be furious. He sounds horrible and even if somehow I was able to go on the cruise, I’d never feel the same about him again. 

I guess try to maintain the relationship for your husband’s sake, and so that your child can have grandparents. But YUCK.

Post # 10
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Your FIL handled that poorly to say the least, but I also think you had no place to invite your parents.  This sounds like a family event for your DH’s family.  While it was expressed poorly, your FIL has every right to expect that the trip would stay a family thing.  It’s just never a good idea to invite people to come along when you are not the organizer, and falls under bad maners. 

That said, your FIL expressed it poorly, and really should have let you handle the mistake at that point.  There is no use arguing and yelling about it.  I wouldn’t cancle going, as really, mistakes have been made on both sides, and the reset button needs to be hit.

Post # 11
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I wouldn’t have invited them, but your FIL is out of control.  You couldn’t pay me to go on a cruise with all the accidents in the news the past few years.  I would cancel.

Post # 13
24457 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Geez, I don’t understand what is problem is.  You are going to be on a boat with thousands of other people he can’t control who else is on the boat!  Maybe you should have run the idea by him but seriously he didn’t want to be a jerk about it!  I would not want to go on vacation with him or spend time with him until her seriously apologized for disrespecting my family and me.

Post # 14
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@caribbean_lover:  I would definitely apologize to my parents on his behalf.

I also wouldn’t go on the cruise. I would probably go visit my parents instead. I would let my husband go since that is his family, but since they wanted to be exclusive and rude, I wouldn’t go.

It is a public cruise ship and as a PP said, anyone can book a cruise on it. If he wanted scheduled family time, then he schedules family time and you go, but on your free time, you can spend it with whomever you want on that boat, including your parents.

Post # 15
6158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i would have ask FIL if it was ok to invite your parents first.

but he really blew the whole situation out of the water.


Post # 16
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@caribbean_lover:  I would refuse to go…but that’s just me if that situation happned with my FIL (not too fond of him as is anyways)….

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