- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
When we got engaged, my family (except my sister) was happy and congratulated me. Less than one week later, my sister and SIL ask me if we were still considering a destination wedding. For months before we got engaged, we had mentioned that that is something we would like to do since we’re a little older and he has limited time off with his profession. He works 70+ hours a week for 9-10 months of the year so an opportunity to put our vacation and wedding all together made sense. The fact that our families would be there would be a bonus. I explained that yes that’s what we were considering but since I knew that they may be on a budget I was willing to take suggestions on where, only thing was it had to be in the contintental US since we have a friend that cannot fly. The date we picked is more than 18 months away which I figured would be plenty of time for planning. I even offered to have it at Disney World because I knew it would make my nieces ridiculously happy.
My SIL at first was nice. I listened to her suggestions: Kansas City and the Ozarks in February. I politely declined explaining we were thinking somewhere we hadn’t already been and that wasn’t quite so close. She took offense that I wouldn’t even consider the Ozarks for some reason. Told me that I was being selfish and that I was being nicer to my FI family and considering only their wants. My sister and brother then chimed in telling me I was being mean and guilting me with my nieces. Later that evening my mother gave me a lecture about she can’t believe what I’m doing to the family and how can I be so selfish. The Ozarks would be the perfect place. Since that day, they’ve completely ignored me and refuse to talk to me. My FI is just fed up with it considering we’ve helped them out quite a bit.
We’ve offered to pay for my mom, grandmother and all my nieces flights, but that still hasn’t thawed the relations. At this point, I’m just considering doing something local to appease them even though I just do not want a big wedding. Unlike my FI, I am the shy-type and loathe the idea of standing in front of all those people. We know a lot of people and have large extended families so it would be really difficult to not have something big if we stay in the area. I’ve been trying to convince my FI to just go to the courthouse cause I’m so miserable trying to choose between the two options. My FI said whatever makes me happy makes him happy and he’ll stand behind whatever I choose. His family said the same except that they prefer not the courthouse lol. So….do we stay or do we go. Or any other ideas for me??