- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
I didn’t expect a family issue so soon, sigh, but here I am!
We are having a SMALL wedding. Originally, it was 40 people. We are up to 45, are having it at a B&B and are near our maximum capacity. We selected the B&B because of the intimate family affair, and it is beautiful. We had our “must have” guest list, and this place fit the bill. This is a second marriage for each of us, and our priorities are to celebrate it with a small party with our closest friends and family. No one is paying for this wedding but us.
After getting engaged, FI called his aunt who lives in FL (we are in NY) to talk to her about the wedding to see if she would be interested in traveling, she said she would. She then proceeded to ask if her two (adult) daughters would also be invited.
First, FI has only seen this aunt once in the last ten years, doesn’t have a relationship with her, but wanted to include her as his mothers only sister. But her daughters – he hasn’t seen/heard from/spoken to in over twenty years. Nothing! So, they were not on our small guest list. He kindly explained to his aunt how space was limited, etc. (Uncomfortable!)
But, to make matters worse, now his mother keeps calling him and saying that she thinks the cousins should be invited. Inviting them means taking others off the list! So far, he seems to be holding his ground, but this is already stressing me out. I feel badly about it, but honestly, if we were going to have a big affair and invite people we barely see, we would have selected a different venue and gone a whole different route. I am not about to take people near and dear to us off the list to add them. Plus, I have other family who live in the same state who I do see occasionally – and they aren’t even coming! It is really limited to parents, each a sibling and their family, and each one aunt and uncle!
(of course, then I keep wavering and feel slightly guilty, wondering if we are doing the right thing)
I guess this is more of a vent than anything, but any coping tips would be appreciated.