Post # 1
Hello All! I had always pictured proudly displaying our parents and grandparent’s wedding pictures at the reception. However, my fiance’s parents are divorced, and he is sensitive about it. When I wondered out loud what we would do about their picture he jumped in and said we just aren’t doing a display at all.
I was wondering if anyone with divorced parents in the mix had a creative way of putting the pictures so that they don’t scream “DIVORCE!” when they are displayed.
The only solutions I come up with are 2 choices that are bad choices:
1. You put his parent’s picture out and they feel uncomfortable
2. You just skip them and put everyone else’s picture and then it is noticably absent.
Neither is going to fly! Anyone have a secret door #3?
Neither parent married again so there aren’t 2nd marriage pictures to use instead.
Just as a disclaimer: No one in my family is divorced so I 100% know I can’t understand how he feels so unless there is a cool solution I know I have to let it go.
Post # 3
i would probably let it go. I can only imagine it makes your fiance a little sad, but more so it would probably make your future in laws feel VERY uncomfortable.
Post # 4
I also wanted to do the parents and grandparents wedding pictures thing, but DH’s parents are no longer together and I know it would have made him – and his mom – pretty uncomfortable… so we skipped it. Minor bummer for me, but way better than making things upsetting or awkward for anybody.
Post # 5
@BostonStacy: My parents are divorced and my FI parents are married. We are having a “Southern Charm” table to display all the family we have in general and their wedding picture if we have it. We’re displaying:
My FI’s parents wedding picture.
My Dad and Step Mom’s wedding picture.
A beautiful single picture of my mother.
A wedding picture of my grandparents
a wedding picture of my fi’s granparents
a single picture of my fi’s other grandmother who is divorced
Hope that helps!
Post # 6
@BostonStacy: I’d just skip it. Not worth any drama and hurting feelings over.
Post # 7
I’m having a similar problem. I wanted to go parents, their siblings, and grandparents. My side of the family looks really nice, there, his not so much. They don’t speak to some aunts and uncles and one of his grandmothers’ divorced. We’re still working it out. At first, he was like, “I’d rather not have pictures of X,Y, and Z up,” but after trying to work out an alternate solution, he threw in the towel and said I have free reign to do whatever I like. I still want to make him happy, though. We’ll see.
Post # 8
I had the same problem. His dad had remarried but his mom hadn’t. Shit would have hit the fan if we used a wedding picture from his dad’s new marriage so we just ended up not doing it.
Would it be weird to just use pictures from your grandparent’s wedding?
No one is my family is divorced either so I just went with what DH wanted for this because I have no experience with divorce.
Post # 9
We are skipping it and making sure not to flaunt my parents marriage since his parents are divorced and not remarried. We are, however, putting a picture of his deceased grandparents together (they were married for 67 years) and his other grandparents and my grandfather (all deceased and divorced) separately. If the people in question will be there, I wouldn’t risk offending them.
Post # 10
If all parties involved are still married, I like the idea of having wedding photos of all parties. But when divorce is involved, it can get tricky. I used to love this photo idea, then I started dating a guy with divorced parents, then MY parents got divorced. I could do just photos of our grandparents but I only have one set of living ones and having their portrait surrounded by portraits of a bunch of people that are no longer with us seems kind of morbid to me (for my grandparents I mean, reminding them that they are old? I don’t know..). My family does a table with photos “In Memory” of those loved ones that are no longer with us. Grandparents, great-grandparents, and my cousin who passed away unexpectedly at 40 years old. They are not wedding photos, just nice portraits of loved ones we wish were sharing the day with us.
Post # 11
I say let it go. You don’t want your future husband or his family to be uncomfortable on your wedding day.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t put out the wedding picture of a divorced couple at my wedding. eesh. Kind of defeats the point of that display, really.
Post # 13
Don’t put a wedding picture out, but put a picture of your FI with his mom and another one with his dad.
Post # 14
I would skip it entirely 🙁 FI’s parents have been married for 40+ years and I would have loved to do this to honor them, but my dad is on his third marriage and my mom is on her third divorce… so yeah, no, that’s not happening.
Post # 15
I personally would not want to do the display at all under those conditions. I would not display a wedding photo of a divorced couple, nor would I want to exclude my FI’s parents from a family display. I think the secret door #3 you’re searching for is to abandon the idea altogether.
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
@BostonStacy: Let it go. Some divorces work out great and you can do that stuff for example FI family and some divorces dont for example my family. Judging by your FI reaction, im guessing the latter. Its such a small thing and your comprimising your FI happiness on his day which is much more important than some pics. FIL will probably not be happy with either either.
Be thankful you have generations still together be understanding to his feelings and
Just let it go.