Post # 1
Looking for some honest advice. My fiancé and I recently became engaged and, while looking at venues, fell in love with a place that only had a very few dates still available. We had to move quickly and, unfortunately, the only date that worked is one week before his cousin’s wedding. Our families are all local to us and the cousin’s wedding is in CA. We honestly didn’t think the timing was an issue, but we’ve gotten word that his cousin and her family are really upset. Did we do something wrong? This was the only date we could get without pushing the wedding out another 9-10 months. What is the rule on picking wedding dates?
Post # 3
I had the same problem. Brother & I are getting married 10 days apart. Initally ppl were upset but once we sat down & discussed things seem to settle down a bit. I would be honest & upfront with the cousin, chat to see what their concerns are .. good luck!
Post # 4
His cousin only gets one day–you’re fine, and you did nothing wrong. It might have been a bit inconsiderate if your guests weren’t local, but you’re not asking them to travel two weekends in a row.
Post # 5
I think one week is cutting it really close and I see why the cousin is annoyed. You don’t have to move your wedding, but try to at least understand how she feels and try to make some gesture to mend things.
Post # 6
I don’t think its wrong to pick a close date and get the venue you want. Its true the cousin only gets one day.
But from past experience, even local family weddings are exhausting! Getting your hair done, up early, nice clothes, etc etc takes a toll, and frankly after attending family weddings I am usally wedding-ed out for a while. Having two back to back weekends would be alot. So for the second wedding I just would not be as excited than if th events were months apart.
If there is any chance to move out your wedding, or have it earlier, I would take every opportunity to do so.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
I would think it would be really hard on your family. Will they have to travel for the wedding(s)? Then there is the fact that they will have to give 2 gifts within 7 days of each other. Its your call since it is your wedding but it may be a burden.
What about doing it a few weeks later but on a Friday or Sunday??
Post # 8
Our wedding would be on a Friday and the cousin’s wedding would be the following Sunday. Does this make any difference?
These would also be very different events. We’re aiming to keep it simple and laid back, while the cousin’s wedding will be more of an “event.”
Post # 9
It shouldn’t be to bad since family won’t have to travel for yours. My husbands niece got married a week before us. They were local but family had to travel to ours. Everyone still came. Our flower girls was a flower girl in their wedding too. My husband’s brother was suppose to preform both ceremonies and he would’ve had to travel to both but became ill and was unable to do either.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
To be honest, this may be petty – but if I had my date set and then somebody close to me came along and set their wedding one week ahead of mine, I would be annoyed. People definitely get “wedding-ed out” and might not be as excited for hers after attending yours the week before. So I agree with a PP that while you shouldn’t necessarily change your date, you SHOULD try to be understanding of the other bride’s feelings and maybe try to explain yourself / make it up to her….
Post # 12
Your cousin gets one day, not a whole week. You would think she understands how hard it is to plan a wedding since she’s planning one herself!! Don’t worry about it, you did nothing wrong. The cousin can suck it.
Post # 13
Cousin will just have to get over it. It would be ridiculous for you to postpone your wedding for 10 months to accomodate her. That’s just absurd. Perhaps if you explain that it is the only date that was available in the season she will understand. Also she should be happy that your wedding doesn’t also include travel.
Post # 14
One of our groomsmen is getting married the week before us and my FI is his groomsmen. We’re all super excited and there are no hard feelings (they set their date after us) but now that everything is getting closer, it is a little stressful trying to organize everything to go to NY for their wedding the week before ours. Not to mention the extra money we’re spending when were having to pay for our wedding too. I only say this, because I don’t think your cousin is upset thinking she has a whole week–I think it may just be added stress knowing that her guests and her family will now have 2 weddings to plan for within a week. I agree that if you just talk to her about it, things will work out =)
Post # 15
I think that as a guest I would be troubled by this, seeing as there is travel involved for the cousin’s wedding especially. It’s a lot of money and time in a short span.
Not to mention weddings are so emotionally charged. They are EXHAUSTING!
Post # 16
I could relate to the cousin…they aren’t living where you are at and don’t get to see the family so they may feel like their chance to get the family to visit for the wedding may be clouded by your wedding day. Plus two weddings in two weeks is a lot. The money that you spend for presents, drinks, hotels, etc. really starts to add up.