Post # 1
Feeling a bit deflated… The boy and I are very happy, but not telling too many people yet- but while on his side his friends and family are delighted, my lot have been absolutely unenthused. I know it shouldn’t get me down- but so far I’ve had a few drunk and disbelieving congratulations, an email from my best friend saying I’m crazy and bringing up an ex I “Also thought I was in love with” (nasty timing I reckoned?) and my mother who just said… nothing. In fact acted a bit like i had imagined the whole thing and hasn’t said a word about it since!
I know it shouldn’t affect how happy I am, but I just hate that nobody seems at all happy for us. It’s getting to the point that I don’t want to tell anyone else because I hate that deflating reaction… At any rate it makes me lean a lot more towards the idea of us eloping and only telling his brother & my father!
Always sort of thought there’d be excitement? People telling the news and wanting to look at dresses and such. Makes me feel quite lonely, and wish I’d just kept it as our own secret.
Surely that’s not normal? Everyone loves him as well!
Post # 3
Is there a lot of divorce in your family? I just had one of my aunts tell me yesterday after receiving my save the date, the she wishes she could talk me out of getting married. Mostly everyone on my mom’s side has been divorced and married several times. So for them, saying I’m getting married doesn’t carry much meaning for them. But my FI’s side is very excited about it, especially because I’m pretty close with his family also. I couldn’t see them thinking that my FI could end up with anyone else but me (I’m his first everything by the way). But at least my mom is excited.
Post # 4
I’m in the same boat. Everyone loves my FI and his side loves me. But on my side, there is a lot of divorce and I’m currently unemployed (I have lots and lots of savings to draw on, but it makes my Mom nervous to contribute to a wedding when I’m currently unemployed.) She’s also divorced and jaded on the whole subject of marriage even though FI and I are both financially independent, live on our own, etc. On his side, his dad’s brother died less than a week after we got engaged and then they sold their house.
At least, that’s what I tell myself, to not get too down in the dumps about it.
Post # 5
Do your family and friends dislike your fiance? If you are getting a very cool reaction from ALL of them, then maybe they are seeing something you aren’t. I don’t mean to rain on your parade, as I certainly don’t know your or your family; my theory might be totally off-base. It just seems that if they liked him and thought he was a great person they would be excited by your news. Especially if his family is happy (did they not think he could end up with someone as great as you are?), and your family is not, it just makes me think that somehow your family might not think he is the best person for you.
Post # 6
@splodge: I think a lot of it is distance to the wedding date. I have noticed my friends were happy but not overjoyus but as it creeps closer more people seem more excited. Your friend was really mean but maybe it is jealousy? As for your mom she may need time to fully get what a big deal it is and once you start asking her to dress shop and things she will get more excited. My family doesn’t outwardly show emotion that much but as they book hotel rooms and things I can see the level of excitment rising and I am sure some people wont be excited until March 7th haha
Post # 7
@echomomm: Her last note, she said everyone loves him, so that’s not it. xP
Post # 8
@echomomm: Nope, they really like him! I knew my mother was a bit funny sometimes, but she was over the damned moon when my brothers got engaged.
And no divorce really either… The whole family is a bit stilted and not very loving, but even so. Not told many people as just after my father went in to hospital, so it’s already not the right time.
I think it’s the friends I’m most upset about, though most of them being abroad (I just moved back) they haven’t met him. Maybe that’s all it is?
The happiest response I got was from my former tutor, who introduced us
Post # 10
@excitedtobeMRSF: Oh good points! Thanks, though I wouldn’t like to have my mother in a dress shop with me- perhaps cake would be safer. I suppose they are all acting like it will never happen- but if we’d done it sooner they’d complain we were just acting on a sudden whimsy