- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Ok, I was just married this weekend. Yay! I wrote a post earlier asking about whether to hire a DOE coordinator. Well….while so many friends and family said it was the best wedding they had ever been to, being in charge, despite my designating my very organized BIL as the DOE coordinator, it was still the most stressful thing I experienced ever in my life. I had frequent breakdowns starting on the Thursday night before my wedding. My sister got lost on her way the wedding site and barely made it to meet the rental company. My Mother-In-Law went missing for hours (she changed her flight without telling us). My Darling Husband had no real sense of the big picture. He wanted to help, he just had no idea what a big thing it is to organize an event like that until it was upon him. He can only really focus on one task at a time. Also, I’m not sure if others had as much DIY stuff as I did who recommended not having one. For example, my wedding and reception venues were blank slates (a state park for the ceremony and a vacation home for the reception). Every little detail had to be done ourselves. Snacks and beverages for the ceremony site (we had a caterer only for the dinner), securing all rental items, decorating, flowers, friend DJ, etc. Little and bigger things kept going wrong. I almost forgot to have boutonnieres made for my mom and Mother-In-Law so my friends made them moments before the photo shoot started! Two friends were bartending so the plan was for our family to handle the mixers for the signature cocktails before they arrived so they were ready to go (didn’t happen). The cake almost didn’t arrive from the city 1.5 hours away because my friend had to find a second person to hold it in the car. There were 3 other weddings in the tiny town we go married in and I didn’t realize one was right across the street from the receptoin so my Darling Husband, and BILs had to defend our parking spaces. Also, our guests kept parking on the lawn where they weren’t supposed to. I snapped at my other BIL for doing the same (“you can’t park here!! none of these cars can be here!”…my major regret the whole night. I normally never snap at people). I didn’t properly explain the ceremony snack table and so instead of having a jar of lemonade another with water, I had 2 jars of water, with no ladles or ice, and 2 jars of lemon juice and simple syrup that were intended for the signature drinks at the reception! It was freezing, yet sunny at the wedding ceremony at 4, but that couldn’t be helped I guess. It just added to the stress. And my poor sisters in heels were trying to climb up in trees for the photo shoot. I should have reiterated that they bring sandals!
I was sad that despite all my detailed planning and massive delegation across many friends and family members, it still felt like too much for everyone. I was so sleep deprived all week. I was in a horrible mood from the morning of the wedding, right up to the ceremony time. It didn’t help that I forgot to bring my written vows to the park! I had to try and rewrite them on a scrap piece of paper and then the pen ran out of ink! Sheesh. I was on the verge of tears right up to the ceremony time (and not the good ones). I was so sad that my guests were shivering (at least the women were). People were greeting me as they arrived and I could barely crack a smile. I hid behind some bushes and scribbled out my vows. At one point, I just wanted it all to be over, just so I wouldn’t have to handle one more hiccup, delegate one more task or make one more decision! My close friends, Darling Husband and family were all trying to comfort me. I was sad that I couldn’t seem to shake off the anxiety and just roll with the punches anymore. I walked down the aisle in a daze, not really absorbing the moment I was in. If I had to do it over, I definitely would have sprung for a DOE coordinator and maybe hire another staffer to support that person!
HOWEVER, the GOOD STUFF! My DH’s vows were amazing, and I was able to pull off mine. My friend who was officiating inserted humor in the ceremony (and cut it short because I was shivering so badly) and I was able to laugh as were the guests. Also, once I had a cocktail in hand for the cocktail hour, I knew all the big logistical stuff was done and the stress FINALLY started melting off my shoulders. My Mother-In-Law said I looked like a different person 🙂
We had an amazing wedding. My friend and sister did amazing jobs on my hair and makeup! I loved my dress. All the decorations turned out better than I even envisioned. The band showed up right on time and were a hit! Our first dance didn’t go as smoothly as we hoped (a different version of the song was played so we were confused), but we pulled off the most of moves we learned :). My professional magicican friend was a HUGE sucesss. He circulated the room and got people talking who weren’t tearing up the dancefloor like me. I would hear busts of “woah! no way!” as he pulled off trick after trick. It was a surprise for my family too! I purposely didn’t tell them I hired him for the wedding and they talked about his amazing magic tricks all throughot dinner the next day. Everyone loved the food, the dance floor was full of people the entire time, my photographer friend did a great job getting all the shots I wanted, the photo booth was also a hit. Almost every guest stayed till the end at 10:30 AND went to the afterparty at the bar down the street. The shuttle driver that I hired through Task Rabbit (highly recommended!) was right on time and very friendly to all guests. The bar stayed open just for us and I’d say about half the guests stayed until bar close. Everyone got to their places safetly! Somehow my Darling Husband and I found the energy to join some other friends at the house they had rented to enjoy their hot tub and some beer, watching shooting stars and the milky way. We didn’t get back to our place until 3:30 am and we STILL enjoyed our wedding night if you know what I mean 🙂
So, it was a great success if I just ignore all the stress and tears leading up to it.