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my FI and i have been apart for 2 years now. we're not separated by an ocean, but it's enough of a distance to prohibit seeing each other more than once every 5 weeks or so. we talk on the phone a lot; i don't know if that's an option for you - if not, chatting online might be. we also send each other random little love notes, cds, and presents every few weeks as a surprise reminder that we're thinking about the other.
i think the most important factor that's kept us together has been our mutual understanding that as miserable as we are away from each other, we'd be a lot more miserableif we weren't in each other's lives at all. :)
good luck! use it as an excuse to take a trip some place new, if that's possible.
have you considered using videocam? when my fiance and i were on opposite coasts we each had one and it helped a lot. even though we talked on the phone every day, it was fun to "see" each other as well.
you can get a basic one for under $100 and just link it to AIM or Yahoo Messenger. You don't have to pay for additional video conferencing or anything like that.
my bf and i have been apart for going on 3 years now and we spend a lot of time talking on the phone. thank goodness for in-network minutes! we're also on different coasts so the time difference is killer. we do a lot of what the other ladies have already said, try to talk as much as possible, send each other text messages and little gifts whenever we can, and we even schedule weekly date nights to help feel connected.
when we do get to see each other, it's always been for a few days to maybe a week and in between visiting friends and family, it's hard to grab some quality us time. we try not to schedule too much in the visit and just play it by ear, of course when we have a wedding or some other event to go to that plan gets thrown out the window. so we compromise a bit, we'll spend mornings together and then part of the afternoon and evening doing things and hanging out with friends. or we'll just leave an event just a tad bit earlier to get some time alone. some things are unavoidable [like when i went out for his college grad...i pretty much only saw him that morning and caught glimspes of him the rest of the day at his open house] but we make the best out of it.
we're both in this relationship together and we both put in the effort to stay close even with the distance. its hard but it's completely worth it. good luck!
thanks guys! makes me feel much better.. i thought i was the only one unable to have long romantic walks and dinners with him. we do use the webcam (thanks meladoriem) but sadly he is so caught up with work that we don't talk for days together now. The time difference doesn't help either, as i have to wait up till 12 at nite to talk to him and i have to get to work at 10.
in the end, i love him to bits and want to enjoy every moment with him, so i guess i ll just give the lond distance my best.
ps. do any of you get whiny abt the long distance to yr FI?
you mean like yesterday, when i emailed my FI and said "if you hop in the car now, you could be here by 2 a.m. and skip work on monday?
maybe.
aww! i know how you feel! my FI and i have been LD for almost 5 years now! we try to talk every day for at least 30 mins (very busy schedules for us both) but for days we can't talk we always leave messages.
i also frequently write him snail mail and send him care packages and he really likes that! i figure that eventually when we're married i won't be able to mail him stuff anymore so i'll send him stuffin the mail now cuz who doesnt like getting mail? =)
and yes, i totally get whiny! you're not alone! =D usually i end up buying chocolate and watching a sappy movie or tv drama when that happens. =)
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My FI is away in a foreign land on work and won't be back until christmas. He flies in just for 10 days when we have to attend 2 weddings. i am feeling the blues! i want some alone time with him when he is here. no we can't take a holiday when he comes for such a short while.. any ideas on how to make the most of my courtship when he is far far far away from me..