Post # 1
So I’M in my friends wedding for may 2014 . we started looking at dresses and so far we have gone 3 places I hate it IM at size 16 which in wedding land IM 18 uuuhhh!!! we went to davids bridal first to try on dresses which was embarrasing everyone knows my size now! all the other girls are size 12 , 10 , and 4 . I look ridiculous in almost everything . she didnt like anything there so we went to another shop which at these other shops dont carry size 18 to try on so of course im just sitting there looking stupid the fat one who cant try anything on. plus the lady at the shop tells her that girls that are bigger in the chest might not feel comfortable in a strapless dress. but most of the dresses she likes are strapless . she tells us to pick out dresses to try on or like but she dont like anything i pick out.i feel like weve seen the same dresses over and over again just a little different. i have no clue what she wants shes driving me crazy . all this dress trying on just makes me sad! im doing a bootcamp starting in 2 weeks plus my wedding is september 2014 so i plan on lossing weight . so i try to explain to her i dont want to order a dress right away because if i do loose weight i will have to pay for it to get taken in . im trying to be happy but i feel like shes not worried how i feel in a dress .i just feel like she should take us in consideration when finding a dress . or maybe im being a maidzilla
Post # 3
Order the dress. Its stressful for a bride to deal with a BM who won’t order the dress. Alterations aren’t that expensive if you find someone other than the shop to do it. Chin up and do your best. This is her day and the drama of the way you feel about your body shouldn’t drag it down unnecessarily. Having that said, I think that size 16 is perfectly average and I’m sure you look great. 🙂
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Hugs to you! It’s very frustrating that most shops refuse to carry bridesmaid dresses in a wide range of sizes. When I was MOH recently, we had success at Alfred Angelo. They carried their dresses in lots of sizes, and the dresses weren’t half bad. If you have an AA near you, it may not hurt to suggest to the bride that it would be a good place to shop. Good luck!
Post # 5
I know how you’re feeling. I’m currently a size 22 and decided to buy my dress online than deal with any bridal shop sending me into a tailspin about my weight.
Since you mentioned you liked strapless dresses. May I suggest this:
When I was a bridesmaid at my best friends wedding a few years back, I wore this and it was strapless but the halter part provided enough support that I wasn’t pulling my breasts up all night.
Hope that helps.
Post # 6
@jennmc85: It’s really early to be ordering BM dresses! I think she should be willing to wait until 6 months out, so October/November. (I am saying this as my bride self whose sister wants to lose weight before my wedding- I am giving her the time she needs!) I don’t know if that gives you enough time to lose it but if you lose a LOT of weight (not sure what your goals are) the dress could end up being completely unalterable.
I am sorry she has put you in this situation and is not being respectful to you. I think it’s fair to talk to her up front about your feelings. I’m hoping that she will be sensitive to you and just needs a reminder. She is 10 months from her wedding, this is not crunch time yet, so she should have the time to listen and be respectful to you.
I don’t know if she is up for considering this, but weddingtonway.com is awesome and if it’s okay with you then you all could avoid the trying on dresses in a shop thing. I would just suggest it to her because it’s an awesome site. I have already picked out dresses, their all the same color but I picked 9 different styles my BM’s can all choose from because I respect that they all have different body types and available funds and this should be a dress that doesn’t just sit in the back of their closet forever.
So sorry to hear, I hope she is more understanding with you if you talk to her!
Post # 7
yes i think if she could atleast give me till october and then i have no problem ordering a dress . shes in such a rush to pick a dress she has had a appt. for dresses everyweek for the last 3 weeks . its just stressful i plan on lossing weight but if i dont i want to feel comfortable on top of being the fat bridemaid im also walking with a 10 yr old . i just keep thinking im not imortant enough in this wedding part of me wants to drop out im how do you think its gonna look the fat bm walking with a small kid. im not gonna drop out because weve been friends for 12 yrs but i still think im getting shafted alot . before i knew how this was gonna go i told her she was going to be my MOH but now it seems stupid she made a comment to me that she thought i talked about my wedding to much and as if i was jealous of her’s because this is exactly how she put it was were talking about people being jealous she said ” speaking of jealousy everytime i say somthing about my wedding you start talking about yours” really because i thought thats what you do ??? know im scared to even bring up my wedding to someone i planned on having as my MOH . but i dont want to say anything to make mad or upset i just keep rolling with the punches .
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club
Order the dress and have it altered if you lose the weight you want to lose.
Post # 9
@jennmc85: one of my BM’s is much larger than the others.
we went to david’s bridal, just for fun to try on a bunch of stuff for all of us. my friend knows she is bigger and honestly we had a lot of fun with how ridiculous everything looked. she didn’t mind at all. myself, my MOH, and my 2 BMs are all very close.
then i took them to the bridesmaid store where i was planning on going for BM dresses. i told them the color and told them they could pick out any dress they wanted. they all picked the same dress. they all tried the dress on in the store, but the sample size was much too small for the one BM.
the dress was flattering on each of their body types and they are all so different.
they ordered, the dresses came in. and the dress is beautiful on all of them.
i’m sorry you are uncomfortable. i do think that the bride should keep her BM’s feelings in mind, especially because they should be her nearest and dearest friends.
but why don’t you ask what the deadline is to order the dress. then work hard to lose the weight that you want and go back and order the dress before the deadline?