Father did not acknowledge engagement annoucenment

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

We’ve been engaged since February of 2012 and my mother has yet to mention it/congratulate us/etc. Our wedding is in three weeks. :

Post # 4
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t understand engagement announcements — what do people expect? I have been to quite a few weddings and had many of my friends get married and I have never recieved an engagement announcement.

Anyway, back on topic, it seems you’ve really answered your own question about him being emotionally unavailable. This doesn’t blip on his radar because I highly doubt anything would.

Post # 5
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Jacuzzigirl78:  Better than my dad’s response which was an angry phone call telling me I was stupid for getting married to my FI.  He’s come around since then but dads can be a real PITA.

Post # 6
Member
873 posts
Busy bee

was he maybe hurt that your FI didn’t ask for his permission first?

Post # 7
Member
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Jacuzzigirl78:  I think I would have responded the same way if I was your father.

1.) He might feel traditionally your fiance should ask for your hand.

2.) You couldn’t even bother picking up the phone to let your Dad know beyond a mass e-mail.

Try to see it from his perspective.  

Post # 8
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@Jacuzzigirl78:  I have an extremely strained relationship with my biological father too, my parents broke up when I was 4 and growing up he was completely unreliable, never paid child support and never acted as a ‘father figure’. He has three other children who I adore but my relationship with him will never be more than the occasional phone call / once a year visit – my step-dad is my father in my eyes, he raised me, supports me and will walk me down the aisle. My fiance has never even met my real dad and we’ve been together for years.

Long story short, while my dad did acknowledge our engagement in his own way (after I called him to tell him – we hadnt spoken for months before that and haven’t spoken since) it certainly wasn’t the kind of reaction I got from my parents (Mum & Step-Dad, who were wonderfully supportive and beyond excited!). I always try and remember that my biological dad loves me in his own way, and while I’ll probably struggle with our relationship for the rest of my life, I try to focus on the wonderful people I do have in my life.

Try not to let it spoil this wonderful time in your life. People will always amaze us, in good ways and bad, but don’t let it bring you down, and be comforted by the fact that your children will never experience the same thing!

Congrats on your engagement! 🙂 xx

Post # 9
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If I was a parent I probably wouldn’t want a email annoucement, especially if they guy didn’t ask first but that’s just me. My father didn’t congratulate us either but I never really expected anyone to.

Post # 11
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Are you sure it wasn’t an auto response? I also agree with PPs that he may be annoyed you didn’t call.

Post # 12
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

i think that it may be an auto response

Post # 13
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Jacuzzigirl78:  as a parent myself, i think i would be a little upset if i found out via mass email that my child was engaged.

regardless of your relationship, your father deserved at least a personal phone call.

Post # 14
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@bebero:  I agree.  That sounds like an automated response.  Try sending it to the new email address.

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