(Closed) Father doubting SO's credentials. Anger, frustration, sadness abound.

posted 6 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m not a military bee so I may not fully feel the rage, but even so, that would be infuriating!!!!!  UGH. On so many levels!!!!

(I realize this is the most minor part, but the idea that it’s somehow not masculine to be vegetarian is moronic. Two of the buffest, sexiest guys I’ve ever known have been vegetarian, one of whom grew up on a farm.)

Post # 4
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I have no idea what you just said about all that military stuff.  However, I know exactly how you feel.  My parents don’t think my FI has a job because he works from home.  They honestly believe I’m supporting him and that he’s using me for my money.. my money being the $170k debt I’m in from student loans.  Right..

I COMPLETELY understand your frustration.  Parents can be real big idiots sometimes.  People think that if you’re not JUST LIKE THEM, that you must be wrong or an idiot.  And, once they have their minds set up, especially parents who think that they know all and know best, it is IMPOSSIBLE to change their minds. 

I wish I had some better advice other than “don’t let it get to you” because that really doesn’t always help me.  I find a lot of my days are spent venting to my friends about how ridiculous my parents can be.  Always so negative and judgmental.  It’s SO hurtful and frustrating.  I feel you.  I really do.  It sucks. 

And your dad obviously equates eating meat as being a manly thing and being a vegetarian as being very nonmasculine.  Your father is 80 years old.. he’s not going to change how he feels about certain things (like eating meat for instance).  Just take a deep breath and don’t try to fight it.. just ignore it.  You likely won’t win. 

Post # 6
Member
4416 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@DrMrsCol:  I do love that you sent along the DD214 🙂  That’s exactly what I would have done!  Maybe with a note saying “suck it” … maybe Wink

Post # 8
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Instead of “suck it” I’d try something condescendingly polite like “My partner and I are proud of his verifiable career accomplishments. We’re confused by your claims and hope that this will settle your concerns regarding his service.” I may have gotten some of that wrong as I’m unfamiliar with military lingo.

 

Post # 9
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m not super familiar with the Army…  My FI is an officer candidate with the Marines, so I’m assuming a Ranger is similar (if not higher ranking) than an officer?  I know Rangers have to attend a certain kind of training, and officers do that as well.  That’s not something any serviceman or woman would make up or forget.

Regardless, it’s rude to assume that anyone would lie about their rank or position in ANY job, so I’m sure a lot of Bees can understand the sting there!

Really funny that you sent the DD214 Tongue Out

Post # 10
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Your father’s being disrespectful on every level. If I were you I wouldn’t feed into his bullshit by sending him “proof”.

Post # 11
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Britk:  Rangers are bad-ass.  (Think Navy Seal of the Army).  They’re not necessarily higher ranked…there are rangers of all ranks, but they are elite. 

 

 

@DrMrsCol:  I went through something like this except I was in your SO’s shoes.  When I was in the army I went through airborne school…obviously not as elite as ranger school, but I still wore the tab proudly.  Nowadays I’m a still a tomboy but I dress up and wear makeup and all that stuff.  I don’t talk about the military at work often unless someone asks me about it and one day some guy was saying that the women who are in the military are usually just paper pushers and being the feminist I am I said something to the effect that I couldn’t push papers very well while I was jumping out of airplaines.  He called me a liar and the next day I gave him a copy of my DD214.

Post # 12
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I had a friend who went through Ranger school a few years ago. The stories he brought back were crazy! I know I couldn’t do it.

I don’t think there was ever a death per class though–deaths certainly have occured, but it’s not that regular. 

Post # 14
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@DrMrsCol:  I wasn’t in an airborne unit, but after basic training because of my APFT scores and the fact that I was already a SPC due to my college degree they offered to send me to airborne school.  It was pretty awesome.  I don’t think I could go through it again today….all that running!

Post # 15
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Wow how disrespectful! My guy is going through SF right now. I’m sorry he was so rude! Hmph!

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