father drama, for a change

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m sorry that you have to deal with that, I am sort of going throught he same thing with my dad. I honestly think the best way to handle it would be to let him know ahead of time that he does not get to bring a guest. Explain why, and that may make it awkward now, but at least it will avoid the awkward moment on your wedding day

Post # 5
42157 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@TrousseauHorse:  Can’t you make an opportunity to get together after the invitations are mailed so that you can bring up the issue of “no plus one’s”? I would rather do that than sit at home worrying for two months over whether he’s going to show up with some uninvited random.’

Post # 6
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@TrousseauHorse:  EEkkkk that’s not a good feeling to have… 

I haven’t spoken to my dad for about 13 years now and my stepdad is absolutely amazing. So I’m not even going to bother tracking anybody down… problem solved on my end.

I think you should talk to him…. only because you are already going to be nervous and stressed enough as it is! You really don’t want to be nervous and stressed about yet anothe thing! Tell him you have very limited space and you are not accepting +1 at this time. Say that you wish you were but unfortunately you guys have very limited space at the venue of your dreams and there were some hard decisions you had to make as far as the guest list goes. 

Good luck with that… father drama is never good :/

Post # 8
1234 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t count too much on her catching the error. If my SO invited me to a wedding, I’d probably just assume the invite included a guest. I’d try to subtly bring it up beforehand

Post # 9
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@TrousseauHorse:  If he does, it will probably upset my mom and it will definitely embarass her and me in the eyes of my FI’s entire family, all of whom are heavy gossipers and would consider this worth discussing for pretty much the rest of all our lives

Okay, so my question is… Why would your mom be upset? Because she can’t bring a plus one? I also don’t understand about FI family. Because none of them could bring a plus one? Couldn’t you just explain later that you didn’t know he was bringing someone…If in fact he does… He might not. 

Not trying to be rude at all, I am just not understanding the situation I think.

I get why he doesn’t get a plus one… But short of telling him flat out he cannot bring anyone, he might not understand. 

Post # 10
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@TrousseauHorse:  It sounds like beating around the bush won’t work with your father.  Rip off the bandaid and tell him directly that you expect him to show up alone.  You could soften the blow by telling him details like you plan to seat him with family he likes/your in laws you want him to get to know/etc.

Post # 11
87 posts
Worker bee

Oh, just let him bring a guest. If he does have a social phobia or Asperger’s, it will make him feel more at ease. 

Post # 12
589 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Maybe you should hand deliver his invitation and then say something like, “Diane was lovely, its too bad that we weren’t able to have +1s” I wouldn’t worry about his family gossiping, just ignore it, gossiping is lame and gossiping about something like that just tells you that they have no lives at all.

Post # 13
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Will there be anyone else there he is close with?

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