Post # 1
My fiance’s parents generously offered to pay for our hotel stay for our honeymoon.
Future FIL has been hinting about us staying at a specific branch of hotel because he really wanted to give us the gift of his many hotel “points”…but I wanted to stay at a small, locally-owned hotel that I emailed my fiance about a few weeks ago and expected him to take care of it with his parents.
This morning, I get an email from future FIL that he booked us a hotel room…with his points…and it is a hotel that he picked, not my choice.
The hotel is a 5-star hotel, and the room is very nice.
Should I just suck it up and be happy that he gave us this gift, or stand my ground and stay where I actually wanted to stay on my one and only honeymoon? I’m torn here.
I should add that fiance doesn’t care where we stay and was fine with the hotel I picked but would also be ok with the one his dad picked for us.
Post # 3
I think you should suck it up (in your words)! That is very very generous of them. You can plan a weekend at the small hotel for your first anniversary!
Post # 4
I’d accept the gift and either extend the stay for a few days so you can try the hotel you were interested in, or make another trip and stay at your hotel of choice.
But if your FFIL is the type to lord his generosity over people’s heads in the future I wouldn’t take anything from him…but unless your FI gives you a heads up I suppose you wouldn’t know!
Post # 5
I would graciously accept their generous offer!
Post # 6
@marie_antoinette: I vote for stay where you want to stay and pay for it yourselves. If you can’t afford to, stay where he wants to send you. It sounds like he doesn’t want to pay for your hotel, he just wants to gift you his points. It’s not like they’re going to waste if you don’t use them.
Post # 7
@marie_antoinette: if you want to stay at a different hotel and decide to “stand your ground” you and your fiancé need to pay for it. You cannot dictate what someone else give you as a gift.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Suck it up! Enjoy the free hotel, honey. Not to be mean, but DAMN would I be freaking happy to get to even HAVE a honeymoon, and a free hotel? WOOT!
Post # 9
It was very generous of them (even though he used points, it’s a 5-star hotel!). I vote suck it up – don’t damage your relationship with your in-law’s over a hotel. You never know what will offend them, and you don’t want to seem ungrateful.
This is one of those “choose your battles” instances, and from and outside POV? I don’t think this is one worth fighting for. :/
That being said, it’s not like acepting this means you need to accept everything they give you from here on out. I don’t think that your wedding (a “special occasion”) will set the precedence on who has the final call on choices in your family.
If you ever go back (1 year anniversary? 10 year?) then stay in the hotel you wanted to stay at.
Post # 10
Yeah, I’d suck it up. I also prefer small, local places, but if I’m being gifted a super nice hotel room, I’m not going to look that gift horse in the mouth. It’s not like he went out and booked you a hotel in Sweden when you really wanted to honeymoon in Bermuda. It’s in the location, so I think it will be fine. Enjoy the free room and go to a small, local place on your next trip!
Post # 11
5 star hotel in a lovely room? Yeah, I’d suck it up.. doesn’t sound like there’s alot of sucking up to do!
I agree with the PP who mentioned either extending your honeymoon for a few days if you REALLY wanted to visit the other hotel, or take a mini vacation later or on your first anniversary.
Post # 12
Thanks everyone. I knew if I consulted the Weddingbees, I would get the reality check I needed. I should be grateful for the gift and not make a big deal out of it.
I think it’s a good idea to go back to the hotel I really wanted to go to if we return for our first anniversary.
I appreciate all of your honest input!
Post # 13
I’d take the gift graciously. It was generous enough for them to offer to pay.
Post # 14
If it’s in the same area that you were already planning to go, I’d suck it up and accept the gift. It means you have more money saved for experiences while you’re there!
Will you have the same experience as you’d have at the small place? Probably not, but you’ll have access to the same scenery and view if it’s the same area that you were planning to go to.
Post # 15
Maybe your FI gave his father the go-ahead?
Post # 16
I think I am just frustrated because absolutely nothing about this entire wedding process has gone “without a hitch” for me, so I was hoping that I would at least get what I asked for with the honeymoon. I think I need to stop expecting that anything at all will be going my way in this process. :/