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Father RSVP'd "MAYBE" to rehearsal

posted 1 year ago in Family
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    bren    September 23, 2010   phoenix

    My wedding is in 3 months... and we just sent out invites to our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. 

    My father said he might not be able to attend the rehearsal. 

    I am very concerned by not having ANYONE at the rehearsal that is involved in the ceremony... let alone the person that is walking me down the aisle & giving me away. Not to mention... it's quite embarrassing that my own father hasn't made it a priority to be his daughters wedding rehearsal. 

    Plus, my step-father will be at the rehearsal. And, he might be quite offended that he is not walking me down the aisle while my father isn't even there. And, I can not have my step-dad walking me down the aisle for the rehearsal but not the wedding. 

    Has anyone had this happen??!! What do I do?

    I am already dealing with our officiant (my fiances brother) and possibly one bridesmaid not being at the rehearsal... Ugh! 

     
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    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    What reason did he give for the "maybe" response?

     
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    mssocks    October 10, 2010  

    That's terrible!  Do you not have a very good relationship with your father?  It might be hard, but try to talk to him about this.  You're his daughter, and even though he isn't obligated to be there, he should want to do this with you! I'm so sorry, this sounds like a tough situation.  

     
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    Curlysue    June 5, 2009  

    Oh, that's not good!  Um, how can the officiate not be there?  He's the one leading the ceremony!!!

     
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    SanDiegoAli    September 18, 2010   San Diego

    I mean it sucks that people won't commit to coming, but bottom line is even if you DIDN'T have a rehearsal it won't ruin your actual wedding.  I'm sure without one (unless you are doing something very elaborate) everything will turn out just fine.

    Try not to stress too much about this - you're supposed to be ENJOYING this time right now!

     
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    pendola      

    I'm sorry he isn't making this a priority.  MIL pulled something similar at the rehearsal but what can you do besides move on? 

     
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    futuremrsreed    June 26, 2010   Davis, CA; wedding in Reno, NV

    I understand about being upset about your father, but I don't see how it can truly be a rehearsal if the officiant isn't there? He is the one who ultimately leads things.

     
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    Miss Peace    November 5, 2010   New York

    I would talk to him and tell him exactly what you told us.. try and make a plan for him to be there. Tell him you are hurt by this!!

     
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    shaydenise    October 30, 2010  

    Why did you send the rehearsal dinner invites three months out?  That seems early to me.  That being said, it's ridiculous that your DAD would say maybe - I could see some other member saying maybe (like if you were inviting some of the OOT guests to the dinner) because they may not know when they will be getting into town, but not your dad.  Sounds to me like he's doing it on purpose.  But then again, maybe he has one of those jobs where he doesn't know if he can take off that day/night until a month out or something?  I don't know girl, but good luck!

     
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    bren    September 23, 2010   phoenix

    we sent the invitations out 3 months in advance because 50% of our wedding party is from out of town (including my dad and our officiant) ... and we wanted everyone to know well in advance to avoid situations like this. :(

     
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    Mrs.KMM    July 17, 2010   Atlanta, GA (wedding in Indianapolis, IN)

    I understand your frustration with your dad and that you want him to be there but if he truely can't (or chooses not to) your ceremony will still be fine.  It's not like he has to do anything complicated that truely needs practiced and rehearsed - walk you down the ailse then sit down.  Yes - it sucks that he isn't making it a priority but in the grand scheme of things he doesn't HAVE to be there.

    Hope it all works out though!

     
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    Dancy905    February 5, 2010  

    I'm with Kitty -- did he give a reason as to why he responded "maybe"?  How would you feel about having your stepfather walk you down the aisle? Or maybe have 1 walk you 1/2 way and the other all the way to the alter?

     
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    bren    September 23, 2010   phoenix

    He said "maybe" because it will depend on his work situation.

    He works an on-call job ... which from what i understand, only calls once every few months. So, the odds of them actually calling on that day ... are slim. I just feel like it's an excuse. :(

    I think he may have recently got a new job... but it doesn't seem like the type of job to make a priority over the biggest day of my life!

    Our rehearsal is only 2 days before the wedding... so, to make a 3-4 day trip to phoenix, isn't really asking too much (in my opinion.)

     
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    mrskesslertobe    September 18, 2010  

    Well, my wedding is actuaclly the week before yours and my Dad has given a definate no to the rehersal. Really all they have to do is walk down the isle. It is disapointing, but at the same time it won't hav e a huge impact on your day.

    If he has to be on call mmyabe he wants to make sure he gets his part done so he won't have to worry about the wedding day. A 4 day stretch when you are on call  can be hard to re-arrange.

     

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