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If you are close with your biological father I would let him have the dance and then when everyone else joins switch to step dad? so maybe its 3/4 of the song 1/4 of the song split?
I am struggling with this, too! Both my dad and step dad are very important to me!
You could always make it a 'parent dance'. At my wedding we did a combined mother/son and father/daughter dance. Then my mom cut in because she wanted to dance with me :-D I also went to a wedding where it started off as a combined dance. Then the FIL cut in and the MIL cut in to dance with their new in-laws, and the father of the bride/mother of the groom danced with each other. Maybe you could do something like this?
Hmmm...that would be hard. Not trying to offend or hurt anyones feelings, but both showing them their deserved honor/respect! :) Classy girl!
Are they pleasant or nice to one another? Maybe you could see what they think/feel about it! Maybe one doesnt want to dance or one might be too shy?! You never know!
I would just do a dance with each of them! I dont care how long it takes! lol
Hmmm, good advice on the Parent Dance. I guess my only thing is that my dad and I have a song... like for sure... so that is something I need to do.
My dads are not hostile with each other, but also not chummy. I just don't know how my dad would react. So... this may be something I will have to ponder on. Maybe I'll have stepdad dance with me when my inlaws do?
I am having trouble w/ this same issue. I origininally mentioned to my real Dad that I wanted both him and my step-dad walk me down the aisle and he wasn't having it. I decided that I am somehow going to incorporate my step-dad into the ceremony, either by having him read something and/or stand up after my Dad walks me down the aisle and be included in the whole "giving away" part. (Probably hug and kiss me on the cheek after my Dad does).
Also- at the reception I want to have a dance w/ both of them but don't want it to take so long with everyone else not dancing, so I'm thinking I will do the father-daughter dance first...play a few upbeat songs, and then we will do the dance w/ me and step-dad.
I am dealing with the same issue. I talked to my dj about this and here is what he had to offer.
"What my past brides in that situation have done is choose 2 songs but dance an abbreviated amount of time (maybe 1.5 min) for each song. And what I did to announce it and to make it politically correct is say something to the extent of..."Ladies and gentlemen, most of us have 1 dad & mom, but (enter your name here) is fortunate enough to have 2 dads! So at this time we'd like to ask her to dance with _______. Once that song is over I can call out your other "dad". You just have to decide who goes first. Make sense?"
Oh man, I have the exact same issue. My real dad has had a song picked out for us to dance to for years, and I'm afraid that if I try to split that song with him and my stepdad, my real dad's feelings would be hurt. I like @Mindiana Jones DJ's solution of two abbreviated songs. Which dance do y'all vote on having first? Real dad?
I feel like this may be one instance where I just put down my bride card and make everyone sit through (shorterned versions) of two separate dances. Both of my dads' feelings are more important to me than my guests having to sit through another father/daughter dance. And if they get bored, they can chit chat or hit the bar - I don't mind! :)
I'm having the same problem. The worst part is, is that my step father is paying for the wedding and my real father isnt helping at all. I would feel awful to exclude my step father from something like this especially since he donsen't have any daughters. But I'm much closer to my actual father. I thought about doing the cut in half way through but I decided it's weird since there are still hard feelings about my parents divorce, and it seems almost symbollic in a negative way.
Ack, I could never actually ANNOUNCE the fact that I have a split family. I mean, everyone already knows I do, but I know for sure my family would all shift in their chairs if it was announced.
But ladies, this is what I'm doing:
I am dancing first with my real dad. After the significant dances 'father/daughter' and 'mother/son', I will have the dj call my stepdad up for a significantly shorter dance, but not announce that he is my stepdad. He won't care... heck, he probably won't even notice. He is not the type to make the center of attention. People will know who he is anyway, and if they don't, they can find out in other means.
My real dad knows that he is number one in my heart, and he also knows the respect I have and owe to my step dad. My step dad does not even expect a singled out dance, and quite honestly, he'd be more worried about offending my dad than I am. But I think this will work.
It's a tough dilemma... I guess it just depends on the personalities of the individual fathers AND the relationships with the bride AND EACH OTHER.
Would your FI and FMIL be willing to share THEIR dance with you and your stepdad? You could do daughter/dad dance, then a combined mother/son stepdad/daughter dance.
I'll probably just make it a point to dance with my stepdad later in the evening.
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So, I would like to have a dance with my stepdad, as he has been a HUGE impact in my life... however, I don't want both these dances to take up a lot of time, but I don't want to screw my birth father (who raised me) to have a shortened dance or feel offended.
Should I do a dance with both?
Or should I just make a point to share a dance with my stepdad soon after?