(Closed) Father/Daughter dance when dad is disabled?

posted 6 years ago in Music
Post # 3
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

Wow, that’s really sweet that he is still trying and practicing. That’s amazing.

Is your fiance planning on a dance with his mother? If not, and you both skip it, I don’t know that anyone would notice. Otherwise, maybe you could dedicate a song to your dad later in the night and just spend that time sitting with him, not in front of everyone? Maybe that’s stupid. I don’t know.

Post # 4
3982 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I have seen it done where you can both sit in a chair, your arms around eachother and sway, you can move his wheelchair around, or just talk to your parents and find out what exactly he has been practicing. It sounds liek the dance is really important to your dad and even if it is just a short dance, I would absolutely find a way to do it. even if it is a modified dance.

Post # 5
14498 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You could go over and see your dad practicing so you know where he is at with it.  Don’t take this moment from your dad.  He obviously wants this so bad that he is practicing a year in advance.  It means alot to a dad.  Let him do whatever he is comfortable with and just be as understanding and supportive as you can, this one song is his moment as much as it is yours.  He must love you so much to go to all the work to make it happen.  What a sweet man.

Post # 6
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2022

I think you should dedicate a song to him and show a slide show of you two together diff pics and give him a hug<3

Post # 7
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

My dad also has Parkinson’s (diagnosed 4 years ago), but not as advanced in terms of physical limitations. However, my dad broke his shoulder a couple months before my wedding, which led to more difficulties. My honest advice, would be to, if he’s able, choose your father daughter dance and have the two of your on the dance floor alone for 30 seconds to a minute– and use that song to open the dance floor. That way, you two can bow out gracefully, but you still have the memory and pictures of dancing with your dad. –if he’s physically capeable.

On the anxiety… boy, do I understand this! My dad has battled panic attacks his entire life and Parkinson’s has made so much worse. My dad takes Xanax and, well, popped as many as he needed. He made it through just fine. 

I’ll never forget our dance– he cried and told me how proud he was of me. I kept telling him I’d always be his little girl. I really hope you can work something out because it is special.

Also, if your dad thinks he can do it, let him try. Just let your vendors that it may or may not happen. They’ll run the show smoothly either way.

Post # 8
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

This was something we had to consider as well. My Mother-In-Law is a diabetic, she had an amputation and wears a prosthetic on one foot and is often fighting infections on the other. She is primarily wheelchair bound.

Our first decision was to do a joint dance, we had one song and while I danced with my father, Darling Husband danced with his mom. We thought it would be best to take the pressure off especially since we did not know if she would be on her feet. Our DJ suggested that if she was in the chair that Darling Husband could hold her hands and swing her around a little. Try looking it up on YouTube for a better idea.

We were extremely lucky, she was on her feet for the walk down the isle, grand entrance, pictures and to dance with her son. If he was holding her up, I was none the wiser.

Maybe your mom is right and your dad will find inner strength if motivated (Dancing with his  daughter.) Just keep an open mind, theres no reason you can’t dance with him in the chair.

Post # 9
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would talk to your dad about it , maybe you can practice together.. where he stays in the chair so that relieves some stress for you both.. 

something like this

Post # 11
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

@mickeees: Well, that sort of sounds like you don’t want to have the dance at all– and that’s totally different. In that case, just skip those dances. Nothing wrong with that. When you give your thank you toast, just be sure to acknowledge your parents.

Post # 13
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Personally I LOVE the idea the PP had…do a slideshow and play it to the song you would have danced to. Sit with your dad and watch it. I’m sure everyone will understand and honestly I’m getting emotional just thinking about how meaningful it would be!

Ask your photog to get special pictures of the two of you watching the slideshow together. 

You are so strong and I know this must be really hard! Try talking to your mom about what may be best for your dad, instead of what is best for the “traditions” of a wedding. 

Post # 15
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Have your dad stand or if necessary sit still while you dance around him for 30-60 seconds, then have others (maybe the wedding party – then everyone else) join you on the dance floor.  

Post # 16
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012


In that case, I love the idea of a picture slide show with a song playing while you just sit with your dad and hold his hand.

I understand the position your mom is in – accepting the permanent nature of something like PD is really…REALLY hard.

As for his language – has he had a neuropsych evaluation?  They can assess how cognitively aware he is – and if appropriate, set him up with a communication device. They’d also be able to tell your mom in a sensitive and realistic way what he is and is not comprehending. 

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