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Father/daughter dance without a dad?

posted 1 year ago in Dance
  • poll: Should we even do the father/daughter/mother/son dances at all, given our situation? (Read post)
    No, skip it : (8 votes)
    73 %
    Yes; have FH dance with your aunt and you dance with his dad/stepdad : (1 votes)
    9 %
    Yes; have FH dance with his mothers by himself : (0 votes)
    Other? : (2 votes)
    18 %
  •  
    1.
    2,566 posts
    Sugar bee
    Statutory Grape    March 2014  

    FH and I attended a wedding last night that had all the traditional wedding stuff (bouquet and garter toss, and the parent/child dances, etc.) and were discussing how this might work. I don't have a dad and my mother is out of the picture; however, I'll be listing my aunt, who raised me as her own, as "mother of the bride" on the programs.

    FH has two sets of parents--mom and stepdad, dad and stepmom. I was thinking we could combine these dances and have him dance with my aunt, where I could start dancing with either his dad or stepdad and have the other cut in about halfway through. But would that exclude his mothers too much? I mean, since I don't have a dad, it'd be kind of awkward because I wouldn't have anyone to dance with if they danced with him and I'd just be kind of standing off to one side. But my rationale is, I'm sure they'll cut in at some point anyway or during a different song to dance with him if they want to, so I'm not sure we really have to arrange this.

    Our other option is to skip these altogether, because they're not super important to us and would be complicated to figure out anyway.

    What would you do?

     
    2.
    Hostess
    16,857 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    I would allow his mothers to have a seperate song with him in addition to the dance where you dance with his dad and he dances with your aunt.

     
    3.
    Member
    6,643 posts
    Bee Keeper
    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    I would talk to his mom about it before you do anything. We didn't have any dancing, and I know my hubby's mom was sad that she missed that experience at her son's wedding. (Not my fault, I told him he could do the dance, I just didn't want to do the father/daughter dance).

    I do think that would be really sweet to dance with his dad and stepdad though.

     
    4.
    2,566 posts
    Sugar bee
    Statutory Grape    March 2014  

    @artbee: His mom's super-laid-back and probably wouldn't miss it, though I'm sure she'd like it. His stepmom is really traditional, but I'm not sure if she'd care...I'll have to ask FH and work out the kinks with him first. The dancing portion probably will only be about an hour, hour and a half because of dinner--we're having a 3-hour reception.

    His dad and stepdad are both a good foot taller than me, so I think it'd be pretty funny if I tried to dance with them! ;P

     
    5.
    Hostess
    7,271 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    Gemstone    July 2011   Cincinnati

    I'd say either go with MissAsB's advice, or consider skipping them. The dances aren't supposed to make anyone feel awkward or uncomfortable.

     
    6.
    2,566 posts
    Sugar bee
    Statutory Grape    March 2014  

    @Gemstone: Yeah, I almost think skipping them would be best. No one would really miss them, right? Our family situations are just too complicated for something like this to work out smoothly, I think...haha.

     
    7.
    Member
    1,202 posts
    Bumble bee
    nmsoonerbride    March 19, 2011   Live in New Mexico, wedding in Oklahoma City

    I'd probably be tempted to skip them, but then try to make it a point to dance with the dad and step dad during the night.  But I'm always looking for a chance to not be the center of attention :)

     
    8.
    2,566 posts
    Sugar bee
    Statutory Grape    March 2014  

    @nmsoonerbride: Hehe, understandable. His dad is totally crazy (in a good way) and loves to dance, so I think it might be more fun to have a less serious/formal dance with him. Knowing his stepdad, he probably wouldn't care if he danced at all.

     
    9.
    Member
    202 posts
    Helper bee
    Drums    November 7, 2011  

    I saw this done once at a wedding where the newlyweds weren't too concerned about tradition and just wanted to have fun, I think it might work well for your situation too if you really wanted the dances:

    They had a sort of "round dance", where each of the couples started off dancing with each other (in your case, you and FH, his mum and stepdad, dad and stepmum, and would your aunt have a date/brother/cousin to dance with, perhaps?) and then switched partners several times through the song, before ending the dance with their original partner.

    I don't know your FH's family and if it would be weird/awkward/unwise for his dad and mum to dance with each other for even a short while, though, but you could always arrange it so that they don't have to.

     

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