Post # 1
Do I really have to invite them??? I’m adopted. My mother is my biological mother and my dad adopted me. I don’t know and have no desire to know or meet my biological father. Anyway…
Two of my dad’s three sisters have, for lack of a better word, “disowned” my mother and me. They hate my mother, blame her for all of my dad’s problems and everyday anxieties, and claim my daddy (yes, I still call my adoptive father daddy even at 24) only adopted me to please my mother. To make matters worse, they went on to claim all three of my sisters, who are my dad’s biological children, are unwanted by him and that my mother blackmailed him into getting her pregnant. They went on to accuse her of a lot of other stuff, but it was the issue with my sisters that bothers me most. They say I am not their family, I am not my daddy’s daughter despite the eight years it took to legally make me his, and, well, it goes on and on and on, mostly about how my mom and I are pretty much trash to them and want nothing to do with the two of us. Not to mention they now believe their only living brother is going to Hell for becoming Catholic.
I don’t want to hurt my dad-that would devestate the both of us. But these two women have hurt both my mother and I deeply, and in doing so, hurt my sisters, who mean the world to me.
Do I really have to have them there?
Post # 3
@imamonster89: Absolutely not! And if they fish for an invite, the obvious retort is, “But you said I wasn’t family”.
If your father truly loves you and your mother (and it sounds like he does), then he will understand.
Post # 6
@imamonster89: A good rule of thumb is not invite anyone you hate or who hates you to your wedding. This day is supposed to be joyful! It sounds like your daddy (I’m 30 and still call my dad daddy!) will be more than understanding. I would just make sure he knows about it before the invites go out so he can handle any fallout.
Post # 7
NO! You don’t have to invite them. I’d sit your father down and talk it over with him first though. I’m sure he’ll agree with you.
Post # 8
Of course you don’t have to invite anyone who has such thoughts and feelings about you and your Mom. Why would you set yourself up for more hate from them, as I can guarantee that nothing will magically change on your wedding day. I’d never put myself in that position, and I hope your Dad agrees with the decision to eliminate them as guests.
Post # 9
No way! You definitely do not have to invite them – it doesnt sound like they deserve to be a part of your special day!
Post # 10
@imamonster89: please don’t invite them! It will be painful for everyone.
Post # 11
My step-fathers sister is like this. We are inviting her so 1. Doesn’t cause more rift btwn the family and 2. We figured she won’t show up anyway and if she does it’s only two ppl out of 140. Most likely she will make an excuse so I’m not worried.
Post # 12
My oldest sister is in the same situation as you regarding parents – we share the same mum but have different dads. She has never met her real dad and as far as everyone is concerned, my dad is her dad, even though he never officially adopted her. Whenever my dad talks about us, he always refers to us as “his three daughters”, never “my two daughters and my wifes daughter”.
She was in a good position as everyone in my dads family welcomed her with open arms and never treated her as anything less than their own niece, granddaughter etc. I am really sorry to hear you havent had such a good time with your fathers family. Obviously your dad will be upset if they aren’t invited but do you think they will come, seeing as they don’t seem to really like you and have treated you badly? What does your dad say aboupop what they do?
Post # 13
Of course you should not invite them, and it is beyond me why your father would even expect you to! Do NOT invite these hateful people!
Post # 14
Hell to the No would I invite them.
Post # 15
Nope! I wouldn’t let them near my wedding with a thousand-foot pole if I were you.
Post # 16
@paula1248: +10, GREAT response.
@imamonster89: If you do not invite them, your dad should understand why. I’d hope he’s even MORE appalled by his sisters behavior than YOU are!