Post # 1
Hi all! I recently went to an engagement party that the couple threw for themselves. One of the guests (pre party) commented on how it is a little crass to host your own formal engagement party. (i.e. special invites, catered, theme, etc). After I thought about it, every other enagement party I’ve been to has been hosted by someone other than the couple (even it is just in name only) What do you think? Is this a faux pas or was this person just crabby?
Post # 3
I voted other… I dont think engagement parties are necessary, so it doesn’t mater who throws it or if they have it at all.
Post # 4
I think anyone can throw an engagement party, including the couple. I’ve never seen a formal one though.
Post # 5
I don’t see a problem with hosting your own engagement party. Your excited and you want to celebrate, what’s wrong with that?
It’s not like a shower where you are asking for gifts so why not throw your own party?
Post # 6
We are having our jack and Jill as an engagment party,bathe maids and men are throwing it for us, bit I don’t see why bride and groom can’t.
Post # 7
ParaSarah What is a ‘Jack and Jill’?
Post # 8
@PrincessConsuelaBananaHammock: When the bride and groom have a joint one (usually used to talk about bachelor/bachelorette party combos)
Post # 9
@PrincessConsuelaBananaHammock: Exactly.No presents required, so why not?
Post # 10
@PrincessConsuelaBananaHammock: This sounds right… except in NZ where we don’t generally have showers and people do usually bring gifts to an engagement party, don’t we?? The American bee’s are starting to make me think their way is ‘normal’, it’s throwing me right off 😉
Post # 11
Where I am from, engagement parties are absolutely unheard of and most folks don’t have the slightest clue what they are or why they are held. The only ones I have ever seen are usually on crime dramas set in NYC where they are shown to be very lavish affairs akin to a mini-wedding that is hosted by the couple’s parents.
That said, I don’t see anything wrong with hosting a party for yourself. But absolutely do not register for anything. People may give gifts but that is not the purpose since you are announcing your engagement. And there is no reason to turn it into a lavish event. A simple pizza party or picnic is sufficient.
Post # 12
@Ember78: I’m so glad you said that! I grew up in California and have been to loads of weddings and showers, but never once heard of an engagement party let alone attended one! We never considered it and nobody in our circle has mentioned it.
Post # 13
@kellswell: Same in Australia- different countries different etiquette. Most people throw their own engagement parties here and they are a gift giving event. It is totally against Australian etiquette but most people do not seem to care! Most people don’t seem to care much about etiquette here at all! Bees would be horrified by what goes on here!
Post # 14
My engagment party pictures are up on here. WE HOSTED, in our home, we brought all the booze, ordered in a tonne of pizza and snacks, decorated ourselves and our friends OFFERED off their own accord to make a special cake and design cocktails, take pro pics, etc.
Now, I personally have no idea if it is normal or not, we are expats away from our family in the UK, and we wanted to do a little something special to celebrate our excitement as our actual wedding in around 20 months away, but we wanted it casual and not a MASSIVE thing – We only invited close friends and we paid for everything, we did not request or expect gifts either, although almost all brought a bottle or two to the party and a few cards were given.
I really don’t get what the issue is, it’s a time of joy and celebration, depending on the couple and what they are like, I see nothing wrong with it! It also varies from culture to culture, in the Arab world. where I now live, they throw massive engagement parties, where the focus is on the couple, they have crazy music, they sit on a thrown, they do the whole lalalalalalalalall thing with their tongues, I went to one and the couple looked so uncomfortable and weirded out, lol.
Post # 15
@kellswell: I agree, the USA way of doing things really confused me at the begining when I came on here, I actually thought it was standard to have things like rehearsal dinners and bridal showers and started to get really panicky over all these events and expectations. Then realised that it is more of a USA tradition rather than UK, etc.
Post # 16
@PrincessConsuelaBananaHammock: The jack and Jill is a big party where we invite people coming to the wedding and they invite there friends, we have a dj and food, You buy a ticket at the door, there are raffles and a 50 50. All the money goes toward the wedding. Which is awesome bc my fiancé and I are paying for it ourselves! it’s suppose to be a suprise but I ended up having to know so I could get work off