Post # 1
My husband started orientation for medical school. Yesterday, he came home, got on FB and added some random girl. Claimed he was just adding her because he wants to add his classmates…okay, fine. But then I pick him up today and he’s just chatting it up with a bunch of girls – no guys at all. He gets home, gets straight on FB and adds 2 more random girls. Claims again, he just wants to add people from his class. Yet, he has made zero effort to add any of the men from his class. This was seriously one of his first concerns today. He came in, changed, plopped down and went straight to adding them. We got in an argument over it. It just seems to me that if he’s adding all his classmates, he’d be adding men as well….am I overreacting or should I be concerned?
Post # 3
Has he always been the ladies man type or have many female friends?
I’m finding his immediacy and obsession with talking to these girls a little red flagish, yet maybe he is just nervous about medschool and needs support. I’m not sure what to think…I’d need a better perspective!
Post # 4
Any chance they are planning on studying together? I’m in a group with 4 girls and 1 guy (mba). I hope his gf didn’t worry when he added all of us right away. Look, you know him and his history so only you know if this is something to be concerned about.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
I don’t think you’ll be able to know what to make of this until at least a couple weeks or months into the first semester… I remember the first few weeks of college were all about adding people on fb! It could just be that the girls have been friendlier to him than the guys, or maybe there aren’t that many guys in his program!
Post # 6
I can see why that would look odd to you, but I think it really probably just is that he is adding people as he meets them. And honestly, I’ve always been the type of girl who had a lot more guy friends than girl friends. That has slowly changed over the last few years, but is your DH the opposite? It might just be that either a) there are more girls than boys in the programme (this is happening in a lot of programmes) or b) the girls he’s meeting are maybe more social than the guys initially. I think the only time you need to worry is if they say they didn’t realize he was married when you meet them. Because I’m sure you will meet them. ; )
Also, I know you’re feeling left out a bit generally, so this might be compounded by the facebook thing. It will get easier, and you will both settle into your place soon.
Post # 7
I think you’re jumping the gun a little. He’s only added 3 people, right? Once he’s added 10 girls and there are still no guys, that’s when you should start asking questions. Perhaps he’s only talked to those three people (who happen to be women) so far.
Post # 8
I would not be concerned.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone. I guess I overreacted. It’s just difficult being in a place I don’t know (and don’t particulary like) by myself while he’s meeting all these new people. I’m hoping it gets easier as time goes by.
Post # 10
It’s hard starting school & I’m sure DH just wanted to befriend fellow classmates. I know long hours, study sessions, etc are in his future, so please voice your concerns to DH and figuring out what you need from him to feel secure.
Has he ever given you reason to not trust him?
I can certainly understand being jealous of him adding female friends – but that doesn’t mean he isn’t committed to you! I wouldn’t be too concerned about him adding all females vs males – I think it’s more difficult to befriend guys (even if you are a guy!) sometimes. Does your DH usually have more female friends than male?
Post # 11
I wouldn’t be too concerned. When I was in law school my study group consisted of three guys and me. I was not in any way interested in ANY of them that way, and two of them had fiancees. We really did just study together and I’m pretty sure we all added each other on facebook right away just so we could schedule study sessions and ask homework questions. I wouldn’t worry too much. By the end of the three years, my study groups’ fiancees seemed more comfortable with me, but I think in the beginning they may not have liked it. I did everything I could to make them as comfortable as I could, but trust me, there is absolutely nothinig sexy about study groups. lol.
Post # 12
I have always had more guy friends in my life instead of girl friends.. Maybe he’s just more comfortable with female friends? But I’d feel the same way as you.
Post # 13
When my husband started business school, I was kind of nervous that he’d be spending a lot of time with a bunch of girls. But once I got to know them, they were totally great and really supportive of our relationship – I’m still friends with many of them. If there are social events you can go to, I would really encourage you to attend and try to get to know his classmates. Then stuff like this probably won’t bother you and you won’t feel left out of this big new part of his life.