Post # 1
My FBIL is getting married two months before us. He let us know today that he’s planning a destination wedding in Jamaica.
I am REALLY concerned about the cost. My fiance and I are paying completely for our wedding on our own, and that 2 months before is CRUCIAL for us to be able to stay on budget…and obviously when we made that budget, we weren’t planning on spending a couple thousand dollars going on a mini-vaca. We don’t have a lot of wiggle room in our budget, and one thing that’s really important to us is being able to save the $$ to pay cash for the majority of the wedding-we made a lot of accomodations in order to make sure this won’t be something we go into debt over. On top of that, I absolutely HAVE to be back home by that Mon @ 8 am for some really important work stuff that’s been planned for over a year…which wouldn’t be an issue if they were getting married and we could fly home Sunday, but the wedding is on Sunday. I’m not sure what to do at this point. They set their date knowing our circumstances, after we had set our date, and I realize their life doesn’t revolve around ours-but I’m just looking for advice on how best to deal with the actual situation at hand. I want to do everything in our power to be at their wedding-this is my future family. I’m just trying to also be realistic, and realistically, I don’t know how to financially make this work, or how to avoid this having a major impact on my career.
Thanks in advance for all suggestions!
Post # 3
They should realize that your life doesn’t revolve around theirs either. I wouldn’t go. Maybe just your hubs could go? I know it would be a bummer to miss but you are never going to make it home and be productive for work on monday, if they are getting married on Sunday. I’m sure they aren’t getting married at a sunrise ceremony?
Maybe hubs can talk to them about a Saturday wedding? My niece was married down there on a Friday….. everyone is on vacation so it really doesn’t matter the day.
Post # 4
@Citygirl8604: Either you can afford to go, or you can’t. I’m sure they are well aware that a lot of people aren’t going to be able to attend… it comes with the territory with destination weddings. Don’t sweat it. If you can’t go, so be it. Hopefully your future husband can still make it.
Post # 5
Do not attend, and tell him ASAP. Tell him the truth: it’s too expensive.
Destination weddings are expensive for guests. Anyone who expects guests to spend thousands to attend their wedding is being selfish. (I have nothing against a couple having a DW, so long as they don’t expect guests to attend). Decline with a clear conscience. When you (and probably others) decline, that will be because he made is so expensive to attend.
Post # 6
Let your fiancé go by himself. They will understand.
Post # 7
@HisIrishPrincess: They’re actually having the wedding late afternoon on Sunday, because it’s in June, and that’s all that was left (they’re very firm on this particular weekend.) We checked to see if we could catch a late flight Sunday, but no flights go out after 4-which is when the wedding is.
I feel really horrible for my fiance right now. He tried to talk to his brother tonight about everything to come up with something that would work for everyone, this is his only brother and they are close-so he really wants to be there. He was almost in tears because he told me after talking to him, he just got the feeling that his brother had kind of an “oh well” attitude if he can’t be there. I suggested maybe he go without me, but he said he doesn’t want to go without me, and even if I’m not there-it’s going to cost nearly the same (the room would be the same whether I’m there or not) Which is true.
It’s causing a lot of stress for us right now…I just hate this. It’s supposed to be a happy time for all of us right now :/
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Could your FI stay with someone else, to save on costs?
Post # 9
@rebwana: That’s actually a really good suggestion….his stepdad usually makes vacation requests for the entire year well in advance-so IDK if he’ll be able to make their wedding either…meaning maybe my fiance could stay in a room with his mom? Will definitely look into it…thanks for the suggestion!!