fear FI will leave, which isn't helping

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee

Oh honey! I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this.

When was the last time you guys went on a date? Nothing wedding related? Totally flirting with each other?

I’m so happy he’s doing little things for you, and that you’re going to counseling. It sounds like you’re doing everything right, and at least he is confiding in you. I know how much it hurts that he doesn’t want to talk about it, and you do. I am going through the same thing right now with my sweetheart in a different way. He is having a huge legal issue, and I want to talk about it with him. Any time I bring it up, he gets upset.

What I tried was getting a journal and writing down all of my feelings, and getting away from him for a few hours when I started to get really upset. I felt so much better. I also talk to my closest girlfriends about what’s going on, and that seems to help too. 

Hugs. Remember this is a chapter that will end. And then a new chapter of you being married will open!! 🙂  This too, will pass.

Post # 4
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Oh wow, I’m so sorry.  I know I would be walking around on eggshells.  I second the idea about trying a fun date night without talking about anything, perhaps an activity so the date itself doesn’t focus on talking.  Good luck! 

Post # 5
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It sounds like you are doing everything you can to support him. It sounds like this is something he needs to work through. Keep going to counceling and encourage him to do the same! I am/was like your fiance. I found it very hard to open up to FH, I have some issues with anxiety and depression, and my inability to communicate often lead to fights like you describe. I slowly discovered my issues had nothing to do with him. He did for me what you are doing. He is patient, encouraging, and supportive. I know it it hard but try not to push him too hard. Communcation is important in a relationship so hopefully he will get there soon! Sometimes it’s an issue of not knowing how to say something. He may not know how to tell you what he is feeling or he may fear upsetting you or something. Go with your gut, it sounds like something fun is exactly what you both need right now!

 

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