Fear of being bailed on…

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Payless:  Yes. One of my BM’s and I didn’t really talk until the day of. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. If she said yes, then trust she will come. I’m sure you will say yes, but have you talked to her about anything other than wedding or asking “Are you going to be there?” because I can see her distancing if she is busy and doesn’t want to talk about your wedding anymore. I didn’t talk wedding with my girls leading up to the wedding and even had a huge blowout with my SIL 4 months prior to the wedding day, so we were unsure if she’d come. We knew we’d survive if she didn’t come.

Post # 4
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Dude. Just call her. Have a nice chat. Talk about how excited you are that thigns are getting close to the wedding. See what’s going on in her life. Not that big a deal. The fact that she didn’t respond to weekly texts doesn’t really mean much, so don’t go reading into it.

Post # 6
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Payless:  If you are scared that she may not show up just make sure you have a backup plan on who walks with who and where everyone stands just in case. I know that means you can’t replace the money and all that, but what can you do? If she isn’t answer, she isn’t answering. I would just stop reaching out to her and see if giving her some space helps. I know you are close to the wedding, but perhaps she THINKS you only want to talk wedding, even though you are calling just to chat. I’d just give her space, but plan your wedding like she wouldn’t be there.

Post # 7
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Payless:  Hm. Okay. So maybe it’s time for a small poke. Maybe leave a voicemail that’s joking but will get her to respond. Like “Hey, I know you’re super busy, but I really need to know if your bf is coming to the wedding, so could you just give me a quick call?” or “Hey, just calling to make sure your’re alive! I know’ you’re busy, but just give me a quick call. Thanks!”

Post # 10
Member
3089 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Payless:  My best friend is one of the flakiest people on the face of the earth.  It is completely maddening.  She told me she would be at my engagement party (bailed), bridal shower (bailed), and my bachelorette party (bailed again).  I contacted her 27 times about paying for her dress, and she was nearly impossible to get ahold of leading up to my wedding.  She showed up though!  She was super helpful too, which shocked me!  After my wedding though (she was in from out of state) she left without saying goodbye.  I texted her to get lunch and she told me she was back home.  She wasn’t supposed to leave for three days.  I had to laugh though.

Fingers crossed everything works out and your BM just has a lot going on!

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