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Feb. 2012 Mr.Bee's Plan Pact

posted 3 months ago in Waiting
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    Busy bee
    MrsGolden2Bee    June 16, 2015   Canada

     

    Since no one started it yet I'm throwing up the Feb 2012 thread!

    Valentines Day month. Hold onto your sanity ladies!

    If you all are familiar w/Mr. Bee's Plan, this thread is for those who find waiting's driving them crazy, and are up for making a pact to stick to Mr. Bee's plan. 

     

    Here is an outline of Mr. Bee's Plan:

    http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/mr-bees-three-step-plan-and-backup-plan-for-getting-engaged

     

    And here's the thread where the Plan Pact started:

    http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/anyone-up-for-a-mr-bees-plan-pact

     

    Every week, there's a check-in, usually Wed. or Thursday, but whichever day you feel like posting something, feel free to post!  We'll post our progress, failures, feelings, what have you, but ultimately the goal is to be happy and not let waiting get the best of us.  Looking forward to hearing from you ladies, and thank you to the ladies who joined in on the last plan pact!

     
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    butterflylove      

    I'll go first!

    I had a good week. The subject of marriage/engagement has not come up since the last time he made big promises for this year.

    http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-this-summer-but-not-engaged

    I'm still a little bothered that if he thinks we are getting married this summer, why hasn't he proposed? I'm aware he is getting some money this month, and we have a vacation coming up in March and an anniversary in Mary, so I'm going to not mention anything wedding related until at least Summer to give him some time.

    I've been working out at the gym ALOT, and I feel great! I have some fun Girl's Nights coming up within the next 2 weeks, so I feel good that my calendar is filling up. I'm gonna keep up the exercise, continue keeping the wedding talk to a minimum, and focus on myself!

     
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    jpalm13    December 21, 2012  

    Me next!

    UM I'm not doing so great but we have not had bad talks about it. Most recently, SO''s car was wrongfully towed out of our apt's parking lot yesterday evening so yesterday after he got it back he said we're moving. He knows I'm not crazy about the idea of getting an apt elsewhere with him that I could not afford on my own. I hate the uncertainty and (currenlty, potentially) unfulfilled promises of the future. ARGH.

    In the meantime, I've started doing Insanity and he gives me 2 wks to quit it. He did P90X last year and barely made it through. I'm determined to prove him wrong!! and it occupies 60 days.

     
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    missjuli    May 12, 2013   Syracuse, NY

    If we need to update daily is that allowed?

    I haven't mentioned anything since Sunday. Yay!

    But last night I wanted to explode SO BAD. He keeps telling me I need to chill out and just trust that he's got in under control.

    I really hope he does...

     
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    alwaysamaid      

    I've done ok the last week... but honestly i'm so tired of waiting. it doesn't even make me happy to think about getting engaged at this point. waiting has completely ruined the excitement for me.

    I don't know what to do right now.

     
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    annasaf83    September 14, 2013   NYC Metro

    I don't know if this counts, but last night SO and I were talking on the phone and he said "Soon we'll be sleeping in the same bed" and I said "Soon?" and he said "Yeah, when we have money" I got quiet, and didn't press the issue. Sigh. But in other news the diet is going well, I've lost half a pound this week lol. (every little bit counts!) I've just gotta work on the exercise part now lol

     
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    MrsGolden2Bee    June 16, 2015   Canada

    Oh my god im trying! In the past week 3 people have told him that he needs to marry me. One of his co-workers. A complete stranger at the club (the wife of a coworker at a different branch of the company at a work party thing), and last night it was his friends 86 year old Italian mother. She thinks of my bf as one of her own sons now and met me for the first time last night. She's been hounding the Boy to bring me by so she can meet me. (I got the seal of approval, yay!). And she's telling the Boy "4 years? Too long! Look at her, she a good girl. So nice. Such a nice girl. You marry her! You tell me you love her so You marry her now. Come, eat another cookie." Score one for the italians! His responce? "someday. I'll marry her someday." arrrrrg, that had better be someday SOON boyo, you're on borrowed time here!

    Aaand apperantly I have a V-day surprise coming that he let slip. He was all shifty andfreaked out that he accidentally let slip I had a surprise coming that he shut me up really fast so I would stop asking questions. But *siiiiiiiiigh* we are not getting engaged. I took out rent the other day and saw his bank balance. There was no buying of a ring. And if there was buying of a ring, what the hell ring? Cause it sure as hell won't be the one I picked. :(

    And if it's a third NON-engagement diamond ring I'll CHOKE him to death with it. I'm all for diamond rings but the next ring he gets me needs to be my engagement ring. Maybe it's a new computer moniter, that would be cool.

     
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    jpalm13    December 21, 2012  

    @MrsGolden2Bee:  As a coworker said I should've done with my "non-promise ring" that's pretty much a promise ring- throw it back and say "NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Just kidding! I'd never do that...

    Confession for the day Foot in Mouth I sent SO a pic of a candy heart that said "Marry me?" He sent back that "you're not allowed to ask that" le sigh....then you do it!!!

     
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    juneebee    April 1, 2014  

    Alrighty so it's Thursday so I guess it's time for my update. I posted a few days ago that I was failing because I'm still talking about engagement/marriage, but I think I was being a little hard on myself. I DID mention it when I was feeling insecure, but it didn't lead to a fight or anything, and things have been good since then. Aside from my moment of uncertainty and insecurity, this week has actually been good. Well at least the second half of it has. I've continued to work out and have my bff night. And I haven't said anything engagement/marriage related since the weekend. (sooo long for me haha). Anyway, something must be working because last night my SO said to me "I've been feeling more in love and into you lately." I mean I know he loved me before, but I think he's just missed me more lately because I have been more busy or something.  I'll try to keep this up. My best friend and I are trying to keep our promise to meet up for dinner or something at least once a week. And I am going to promise to myself to try harder not to talk about getting engaged. 

    So basically, spending time with friends, I get an A; working out... mmm.... a B; not talking about engagement/marriage C+ or B-

    I probably need to find some other kind of hobby for myself to do on my own. It's just that I am addicted to my SO and don't like to spend THAT much time away from him. LOL lame I know... but i'm in LOVE! haha

     
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    abirdword    September 30, 2012   California

    Hey, ladies!

     

    So for me, I have good news - he said the proposal's coming in a month or two, and and we decided on getting married this fall!  It really sounds like it's happening.  So in the meantime, I want to chill out and focus on work, getting in shape, all that good stuff.

     

    @juneebee:  That's wonderful that he feels that way, and that you're taking care of yourself!

     

    @MrsGolden2Bee:  that lady sounds awesome!  "MARRY HER, MARRY HER...have a cookie".  lol

     

    @annasaf83:  sounds good!

     

    @alwaysamaid:  I think a lot of us waiting bees feel that way at some point.

     

    @missjuli:  Sure, daily updates are allowed!  Any every small thing that improves your quality of life while waiting's a victory. 

     

    @jpalm13:  Yeah, uncertainty sucks.  

     

    @butterflylove:  all that sounds good!

     
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    alwaysamaid      

    the BF and I had a really nice date night out last week, and I kept thinking "is this the night?" and it wasn't.

    and since then i've sort of given up I guess. I'm just the long-term girlfriend at this point, and I'm trying to enjoy the relationship for what it is and be happy.

    not to say I don't want to get engaged, but I'm tired of waiting for it to come and being disappointed and ruining every night out. I love him and he loves me, and I think that just has to be enough...

     

     

     
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    MisfitPrincess      

    @alwaysamaid:  I'm right there with you girl, I've been up and down so many times on the waiting 'rollercoaster' that the ride is officially making me sick.  SO and I are never going to get engaged and I just have to be okay with that, he's a wonderful boyfriend other than the fact that he's never going to be anything more than my boyfriend.  Unfortunately being 'okay' only lasts until SO brings up rings and engagement again, and then it starts the cycle of disappointment all over again

    Ive been very good on Mr. Bee's plan. For almost 3 months I didn't bring up engagement, I didn't nag, I was very low key and focused on doing my own thing. It's been great! But all the work I do keeping my mind of engagement gets shot to shit because SO won't stop dangling it in front of my face. After what happened this past week my tolerance is absolutely ZERO and the next time he brings up engagement (unless it's a proposal) he is going to get a HUGE wake-up call. I will not be nice, it will not be pretty.

     
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    squeak    August 10, 2013  

    Bleh, this week has been much harder. We've been out seeing others more, which I think played a big role. Had to introduce myself as his girlfriend again and I'm kinda tired of that! So today I just brought up the ring again jokingly, but at some point after continuing the joke he was like "ok...enough of that talk for now". I'm having a really bad few waiting days! Argh I really hope it gets better... The worst thing is that I know for sure it's not going to happen until after I graduate, and probably in the fall or winter or even next year and that's just driving me insane!!! LOL I know I should be more patient but for some reason I'm just having a really hard time with it right now. We also had a fight a few nights ago, he was really upset and let it simmer while I was asking "what's wrong?" and he kept saying "nothing" but I knew he was upset... so at some point he blew up and he was pretty nasty to me so I got upset... He apologized a lot after that, but I just want him to commit already...

     
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    MrsGolden2Bee    June 16, 2015   Canada

    Woo hoooo good news!

    Turns out the gods must be on a mission for me and it is seriously paying off. This past Saturday night the Boy and I were at a going away party for one of our friends. A lot of his graduating class was there and I had had a lots of friends in that class so it was nice to reconnect with them. So I was catching up with this girl J. And had mentioned that the Boy and I had been together almost 4 years. Well she was really annoyed that the Boy hadn't proposed yet so later in the night when I wasn't around she went up to him and asked why the hell he hadn't put a ring on it.

    Now this was the fourth or 5th person to ask him in 2 weeks (sucker, now he knows how I feel!) so apperantly he burst out saying," Not you too! I'm WORKING ON IT!" 

    Wooooooo!!!! This was the very first I've heard that he's actually DOING something about it. He gave me a timeline of a year and a half about a month and a half ago. And was pretty sure he would wipe it completely out of his mind until the last minute. But YAAY he's FINALLY actively thinking about it and is working towards it. I'm not a waiting bee where the guy HAS the ring and I'm waiting for him to just hand it over. Im a waiting bee like my guy needed to snap out of it and not give me any more of this back and forth  "marriage some day,be with you forever, oh now I don't believe in marriage but I love you crap." Though he did admit that that was just  him being a stubborn ass. *eyeroll*

    So I'm very excited and feel much calmer. I was happy with finally getting a deadline but it was such a long one that I was worried he might just be stringing things out. I am breathing so much better knowing that he has something up his sleeve even if he DOES take the next year and a half. 

    So this is me sending out a cosmic thank you to everyone that kept asking and frustrating the boy into blurting out what he was really doing instead of his usual evasive answers. *HI5!*

     
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    annasaf83    September 14, 2013   NYC Metro

    Well I had my first Cake Decorating Class yesterday, made a yummy and pretty little cake which SO, my parents and I ate while watching the Super Bowl. I'm so excited for my next 4 classes!

    I haven't brought up anything about engagements or weddings with SO. But While he was over to watch the game he was on my facebook account and chatted with my cousin and when I looked over the conversation I saw that he mentioned the ring to her, but it doesn't seem that he has purchased it yet.

    This week should be a normal week, I think SO and I are going to take a short road trip this weekend, he mentioned going to a town about 2 hours away. I love road trips, so I can't wait :-) I hope everyone has a good week!

     
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    batwoman       Spokane

    Although I'm still frustrated over the ring shopping thing I posted in a previous thread, we talked about it last week and it was a good conversation. He basically wanted it to be something spontaneous, which is fine so long at he's doing it by the end of the summer (which he agreed to).

    We actually talked about rings today, but he had hung out with a friend of ours who just got engaged and it wasn't about us. Other than that I've been pretty good! My goals for this week are to study really hard, get the house clean, and not bring it up.

     
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    missjuli    May 12, 2013   Syracuse, NY

    I had a very weak moment tonight and I posted a thread: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/having-a-problem

    The responses I got were less than desirable. Of course posting my progress (or lack thereof) on the plan on its own thread was probably a mistake.

    Isn't it funny how we women just want support in our life but, as women, we have the natural tendency to criticize?

    I wish all of us could just recognize when other women need support and sympathy, having been there ourselves.

    I guess the failure tonight was lack of investing in myself (with sleep, exercise) and not accidentally almost mentioning getting engaged.

    I just switch birth control pills too so I'm all out of sorts emotionally.

    Take care bees.

     
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    abirdword    September 30, 2012   California

    @missjuli:  I'm sorry about that!  I saw the thread and wanted to give you a hug.  Sometimes stuff can just bottle up inside of us and make us go nuts and get down.

     
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    MrsGolden2Bee    June 16, 2015   Canada

    @missjuli:  Poor thing *hugs*, sometimes all we want is a little fricken love and support eh? 

     

     
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    missjuli    May 12, 2013   Syracuse, NY

    @abirdword:  and @MrsGolden2Bee:  Thank you thank you for the hugs and support. It means a lot. I finally got to sleep and I might take an evening to myself after work today.

     
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    juneebee    April 1, 2014  

    Okay so I'm posting mid week again because of a conversation I had with SO.  So we got into a stupid argument on Friday. It was nothing big, but it quickly turned into him saying he's been feeling that I don't care about him and our relationship as much as I used to. He also said he feels like I don't miss him when we are not together and asked why have I been different the last couple of weeks.  I don't know if he's picking up on some of my differences by following this plan or if there is something else I did to make him feel that way. Am I doing this wrong? I mean, yes I wanted to "do me" and feel confident and independent, and I do. And I wanted him to "not take me for granted," but I didn't want him to feel unloved. See, I am the girlfriend that revolves my whole life around him and I would change anything in my schedule to fit his and be able to spend time with him. I dunno, I guess I havne't been doing that as much, and it made him wonder what's up. Either way, I felt bad that he was feeling that way and explained to him that I do still love him very much. I told him that I just felt like I revolve my life around him too much and we are not even married. I also told him I love him very much but I want to do things for myself because I'm tired of feeling resentful when he does that and I don't.  At first, this whole conversation started off kind of like a fight, and I felt accused of not loving him anymore, so I kinda yelled "it's not that I don't love you. It's that I want to marry you!" Now I feel like I shouldn't have said that. I mean after our fight, we had a talk and he seemed so happy and relieved to hear me say I am just doing things for myself and that I still love him very much. He said he was "glad we had this talk." But now I feel like I messed up a little cuz it's like I, in essence, told him about the plan. I didn't say "i'm doing this so you'll want to marry me" but I think I implied it. *sigh* I dunno. We have been good though, and I have been feeling very good about myself, so I dunno why I feel worried. I just do.

     

    @missjuli I know those moments. I have them all the time. I hope you are feeling better now. :)

     
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    flownmuse    May 7, 2016   Scotland, UK

    @juneebee: I don't think it came across that way, don't worry.

    Sorry bees, I've kinda unofficially joined myself to this pact. I'm starting back at uni on the 13th, can't wait, it'll be something to keep me busy again. I asked SO what he wanted to do for our 4th year anniversary in May, and we are going to York. Yay! I want to see York Minster again. If it doesn't happen in May, I don't know what I'll do. Probably come back running to the bee, crying my eyes out!
    Overall, not been a bad week. Ho hum :)

     
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    butterflylove      

    Weekly Check-In:

    Hi ladies! This week was not my most shining moment. I had been doing so well for almost 3 months now, and then (like other waiting ladies) I got stressed when my SO mentioned some spending plans that did not include getting engaged/married. I tried not to bring it up, but I just couldn't hold it in. Sadly, I think I jumped the gun (because what he wanted turned out to not be that expensive), but for some reason I had a short temper that day, and I got all stressed thinking about it all. That afternoon, I caved and ignored "The Plan," and we had a conversation about why I was bothered and this turned into a conversation about getting engaged :( I felt bad because we had promised to not talk about it for awhile.

    The happy note is he reiterated that he still thinks we will be getting married this Summer and acknowledged that he knows I wouldn't feel comfortable planning anything until we are officially engaged. (Before you say it, yes I realize this Summer is coming up quickly, but we are getting married in private and not having a real wedding :) ). He said he wants to make "it" (the proposal?) special and to let him be in control and not stress over it happening. I'm going to keep trying my best! :) He keeps saying that I am worrying about things that are already being taken care of.

    I'm sad I caved and had a "talk" on a beautiful day outside, but it's over now so I can't worry about it. 

    On a positive note, I'm still doing well with my work-out plan and have been doing my weekly Spinning class, running, and exercise videos at home. I also have a Girls' Night planned this weeekend and a Book Club tea party planned next weekend. I feel great!

     
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    missjuli    May 12, 2013   Syracuse, NY

    @juneebee:  Thank you!

    Actually I do feel much better. It was last night I kind of realized that I'm released (at least for the moment) from this spell's evil clutches. I sure do hope the feeling lasts. 

    I just feel like anytime I'm tempted to think about how frustrated I am for not being engaged, I can just redirect my thoughts to my Waiting List. I had my first "official" weigh-in. I started working out in January but I didn't think I should weigh myself until after a month because I'd just get discouraged.

    I was happy to see no more than 140lbs, I thought it'd be worse! Plus I've noticed I look a little thinner (slight enough that only I would notice) so I feel encouraged to keep going!

     
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    butterflylove      

    @missjuli: 

    Amen Sister!

     

     
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    MrsGolden2Bee    June 16, 2015   Canada

    Sooooo, Valentines Day. I really just can't wait for that shit to be over right now. It's driving mins inane it really really is. I KNOW that he won't propose on V-Day, it's just not happening, it's NOT. But my mind keeps going "but maaaaaybe". Every. Single. Day! Why won't it just give up? Why all this stupid dreamer hope!? It'll happen when it happens but I feel like I'm going to spend every moment on we the next year wondering if THAT'S the moment he'll ask. 

    Big events comeing up are V-Day in Feb, concert out of town in May, and 4th anniversary in June. I'm going to lose my bloody mind. :(

     
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    Rush1986      

    I'm on this.  Lets just assume i am part of the Mr. Bee  group until i'm actually engaged LOL!!

    Since my guy and i had a discussion at the end of last month about our future, and he agreed marriage is first on the table for us, i have been fine.  We've both been making an effort to be more honest and spend more time together.  We're going skiing this weekend which should be a nice little trip. I dont expect a ring any time soon(he siad before the end of 2012(, but knowing we are on the same page has made the waiting easy so far. 

     
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    Rush1986      

    @alwaysamaid:  Thats nice.  Have you both had a conversation about it? Does he know you are waiting?

     @juneebee:  Its a cold dose of medication when he realized you can do things without him.  Maybe plan a date night and let him know you are just trying to focus on som ethings you enjoy?

     @MrsGolden2Bee:  Oh my god...i'm PRAYING he doesnt do it on V Day (though i know he wont).  V Day Proposals are tacky. SORRY but they are.   So be happy if he doesnt lol.  He can come up with an original plan. 

     
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    missjuli    May 12, 2013   Syracuse, NY

    Of course it comes and goes. Last night SO was talking about how he's nearing age 30 and he wants to make sure he's not super old by the time his kids are off to college....

    what??????

    Let's get married first, hi!!

     
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    Beautiful Bluegrass    October 15, 2013   Lexington, KY

    @missjuli:  "Let's get married first, hi!!" That is so great! Did you say anything like that? Some men really need to have obvious things pointed out.

    I havent posted about this before but Im REALLY trying to not bring up marriage or getting enagaged. Its been getting hard though. We recently went out with my baby sister and her bf (who are now preggo), and she directly asked me when we were getting engaged. I just said, "Ask him!!". She did, and all he did was smile. But when her and I were talking and rings, stones and sizes he was obviously paying attention to us and not the game on the TV. He even jumped in when I mentioned my ring size (he thought it was a 7 and its actually a 4.5-5). I even collected picture of rings I like and put them in a Power Point. I mean I know he's looking at rings, so its OK to show him what I like, right? Right??  :-/  I feel like a crazy woman now that I did that.

     
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    Rush1986      

    @Beautiful Bluegrass:  Show him all you like. Men NEED the help even if they dont ask. 

     
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    MisfitPrincess      

    Checking in:

    Finally getting back to normal after the crushing disappointment of having the ring once again dangled over my head, and once again taken away.  I guess it's a good thing, if I hadn't had my hopes dashed to pieces last week I would be an anxious wreck with Valentine's Day coming up, thinking something might happen, but I'm pleasantly calm knowing that it won't.  We don't have any special plans, so Valentine's Day will be very low-key this year and I think that is exactly what I need right now. 

    While I'm very jaded on the subject at this point, and really tired of getting excited over nothing, something DID happen yesterday that I thought was mildly interesting.  SO asked me to remind him what day our first date was.  I honestly wanted to be like "why the f*Ck do you care?!" but I was nice and I told him, I figure he must be planning to do something sweet.  Not a proposal, but maybe he's going to plan a nice dinner or send me flowers or something.  Then that night he made a point to tell me he should have a "nice" check this month because he's worked such-and-such hours of overtime. Again, I wanted to be like "why the f*Ck should I care!?".  He's just going to buy more crap for his truck with it! Lol!

    Anyway...

    Girls!!!!!!....   Are you excited? You should be excited!! You know why???  Because it's only 3 days until Valentine's Day, and you know what happens after Valentine's Day?

    ..........

    The 5-month-long marathon of holiday jewelry commercial torture we've been subjected to will be over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     
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    MrsGolden2Bee    June 16, 2015   Canada

    Last night was a sad night. I pretty much lost my belief in marriage for a while. I felt like it was completely insane for me to want to try to spend the rest of my life with the same person. I even told the boy. He saw how bummed I was and gave me a long hug in the couch but i just had to tell him how I was feeling. That even though I'm a complete and utter romantic I felt like I must be crazy to want to try spending the rest of my life with someone. Especially when the odds of it lasting are so utterly and completely against the whole thing. Then he said "fuck the odds!" which surprised me a bit actually since the odds used to be one of his arguments AGAINST marriage, but now suddenly he's all "f*ck the odds"? Lately little signs keep pointing towards him proposing sooner than expected, but I think that my heart might be trying to just shut itself down right now in order to not fall victim to crushing disappointment when it DOESN'T happen.  4 more days! I just need to get through Valentines day. Just get that crap over with then hopefully I can just push this all to the back of my mind until May.

     
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    Rush1986      

    @MrsGolden2Bee:  Thats fantastic!! I think the odds are definitley something that scares alot of boys. 

    My SO has been taking a lot of side jobs and has now agreed to plow snow at night when needed for extra cash.  He flat out told me its to save up for the ring.  But he has $6,000 in the bank account i told him he could afford the one i want right now.  "Well its not my fault my gf has expensive tastes" lol.  He says this cause i accidentally tried on a $15,000 ring!! Saleslady definitely didnt tell me it was that much. 

    I also flat out told him NOT to propose on Vday because I think its tacky.  He asked why not, which is weird cause I thought he had agreed with me a few months ago it was corny.  Anyways…all signs are pointing toward him saving and planning.  We hit some rocky ground a few weeks back and since then things just keep getting better.  He knows I’m DYING for it to happen.  And he knows its hard for me.  And he’s trying to reassure me that it’s first on the agenda etc. So I haven’t been worrying about it much and have instead been planning activities for us as a couple.  We're taking up skiing now (which is terrifying cause i usually hit people when i ski aahh! haha)

     
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    missjuli    May 12, 2013   Syracuse, NY

    I mentioned something on Saturday. UGH. I was having hormone-related water-works and just told him everything about how I feel like I've lost my independence and how we always do everything he wants to do.

    (Skiing like @Rush1986:  except he's more experienced than I am. I too run into people!)

    So I told him I'm just upset that we're not in the stage that I thought we'd be in by now so it's hard to shift the plans.

    Oh and RIGHT AFTER THAT we went to a friends house for their birthday. We met some of our friend's friends who asked if we were married. I said "no." He said "What's the problem?" At some point SO said "I'm workin on it!"

    I said "I ask the same thing about 3 times a week!" So the whole thing became a bit for the rest of the evening. Turns out he was a minister! He said "I could marry you guys right now!"

    As he was leaving, he shook my SO's hand and said "I don't mean to pressure you. You don't have to propose tonight--you can wait till tomorrow."

    Then yesterday, he said "When we finally get engaged--and I don't mean finally like it will be really long from now, but when we do get engaged..." then he went on to say something about how I can talk to his brother's wife about what birth control she uses.

    Awkward, but I'll take it!

     
    36.
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    342 posts
    Helper bee
    lostinthemission       cleveland

    Well I'm offically joining now. This is going to be the hardest thing ever, expecially with someone in my family getting married as well.

    My week recap. I talked about it once when referring to saving up money, and how we need to do more of it. The today SO talked about it when talking about how I will have to be doing wedding stuff a year from now. I sure hope that means he's popping the question soon.

     
    37.
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    Wannabee
    LobotomyParty    May 22, 2014   Australia

    Well here goes... i have been looking at relationship forums for months to try and find something exactly like this!

     

    I'm one of those people who don't dare say the 'M' word as i would never EVER want to influence the Mr's desicions. If he ever proposes then i want it to be because he really wants it.

     

    However, in the mean time i feel like i am suffering in silence :( Really need to get my mind off this and i am so glad that there are other's who feel as i do. I was beginning to think i am crazy....

     
    38.
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    116 posts
    Blushing bee
    butterflylove      

    Bi-Weekly Check In:

    I missed last week, but I think that's a good sign as I have not been stressing over it too much. Don't get me wrong, I still think about it alot and want the waiting to be over, but I have been focusing my attention on other fun things. This past weekend, I had a great 2 days of girl-time stuff: book club and a day-trip to a winery. It was great, and I think my SO missed me while I was out and about. I was still able to fit in an evening out with him, and it was great.

    I had a tough time when we were out at a party where it seemed like there was never-ending marriage talk - in particular when someone asked me to my face if we were EVEN engaged yet? I took it the best I could and actually SO chimed in and took some of the heat. It was nice to have his support. He also told the lady that he thinks we will get married this Summer (something he told me a few months ago that was a huge step but not official). (I acted coy and didn't say much because he has not proposed, so in my opinion, that is the next step and I'm sticking to the Pact.) We laughed about it a little (since I don't want him to feel pressured) and then the subject was dropped.

    Some days he says things that make me think it could just on the horizon while other days I think he hasn't even started looking for a ring. I guess we'll just wait and see. In the mean time, I am putting my Pact into full action and then some. I've been working out regularly, doing Spinning class, and am going to keep up the girl's nights.

    Here's hoping to a great week for everyone! At least Valentine's Day is over :)

     
    39.
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    667 posts
    Busy bee
    MrsGolden2Bee    June 16, 2015   Canada

    The past few days have been great waiting wise. Once V-Day wasobverse and out of the way I mellowed right out. On the other hand I may just be to sick to care, I feel like I'm bloody dieing uhgggg!

    Sometimes I don't even know why I want it so much. Just so many thoughts in my head.

     
    40.
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    16 posts
    Newbee
    kZs    March 15, 2015  

    Why DO we want it so badly? I'm a very logical person but I can't seem to get the logic communicating with my emotions. I try to tell myself we are the same couple whether or not we are married. What's the big deal? It's a pretty ring, a piece of paper, and the headache of a name change (and some tax and medical benefits:) ). So what is it? Is it just the societal expectations with which we have been raised or is it something more? What do you bees think?

     

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