Fed Up of Being An Emotional Garbage Dump

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Why don’t they realize they can’t treat you that way?  Well, because you let them.  At least in the case of your MIL.  You stayed on the phone and let her berate you for 30 minutes?  Huh?  The phone would have been hung up and shut down 30 seconds in if it were me.  “MIL, your behavior right now is unacceptable and I deserve better treatment.  I’m willing to discuss your concerns with you” – which FTR I think her son should doing but I digress – “but if you can’t talk to me with respect this conversation needs to end.”


By not standing up for yourself, you’re essentially giving people permission to treat you like garbage.  With some people you need to demand respect.  And if they get their panties in a twist so be it.  End the conversation and kindly remind them that you will wait until they are able to calm down to start a new discussion about what’s stuck up their ass.


Post # 4
5351 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@JemmaWRX:  I agree. 

You are letting people have too much control over your emotions. If you find yourself getting sucked in, it’s time to take a break from these people. Don’t see them, and don’t pick up the phone when they call. If you have to be around them for whatever reason, leave the room until they calm down. Weddings often bring out the worst in people so distancing yourself is your only best option for sanity. 

Post # 5
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Girl the convo would have been over is 2.5 seconds. You don’t call my phone talking crazy and expect me to listen to that crap. I would have hung up, call my FI and told him that his mom is hurting his soon to be wifes feelings and they should talk. Your are so close to your wedding, don’t let them take you there… say it with me now “Eff em’!!!”


MIL talking crazy…Eff em! No shows? Eff em! Limo driver running late? Eff em! Control what you can but don’t let these people bog you down.

Post # 6
8387 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Girl the convo would have been over is 2.5 seconds. You don’t call my phone talking crazy and expect me to listen to that crap. I would have hung up

@lina010:  +1000, LOVE this response.

Post # 7
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@lina010:  +100000000000000000000000000000000. You can’t control other people, but you sure can control your reactions to them.

Post # 8
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Overjoyed:  To answer your questions…because you are letting them. You need to put them in their place. You are letting them get awaywith too much by being ugly to you. No one will rob you of your special unless you let them.

At our wedding, DH’s aunt an absolutely prude. One of our friends was doing some minor hip thrusting to Thriller by Michael Jackson, and she pulled her niece off the dance floor, told all of DH’s aunts and uncles on his dad’s side that our wedding was becoming filthy, and they all left after that. She even had the nerve to come up to DH and tell him that they were leaving because the dancing was becoming inappropriate. I could been all like, “Wah, a bunch of my guests left.” But instead I pretty said good riddence and waved and continue to dance like a slut with my husband, lol.

The situation becomes what you let it become. Don’t let those people walk all over you. It will only get worse as the years go on (think grandchildren, if you choose to do so).

Post # 9
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

So sorry you have to deal with this! 🙁

I just started to get very cranky with people when thy did that to me… worked very quickly. Now when people do that to me I have little problem asking if there’s any reason they feel it’s OK that they talk to me like that, and let them know I’m not interested in listening.

I know it sounds harsh (and it’s so easy to say) but you do need to learn how to stand up for yourself!
And I mean your personal well-being, not just against personal attacks, etc.

Part of that involves your FI… he should be talking to his mother about the things she said to you (and the fact that she even called). If I were him, I wouldn’t speak to her kindly about it, I’d let her know it was immature and unacceptable, and if she wants to foster a good relationship with her future daughter-in-law she will learn to keep her mouth shut.
Oh, and that she obviously needs some counseling.

Post # 10
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That happened to me quite a bit.  Mostly coming from my parents.  They are the masters of making me feel guilty for doing nothing.

I stopped listening.  They tried again, I hung up.  They had to find someone else to unload on, because I didn’t want to hear it.  It’s been getting better slowly just because I’m so tired of it.  They still try to revert to their old ways, but when they try, I think they’re beginning to learn that they probably won’t speak to me for at least a week.

Post # 12
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh wtf. Why would anyone do this? Ridiculous. I’m glad that you talked to your FI and that he spoke with his mother. From now on, cut people off when this starts to happen. That sounds harsh, but these people need to learn that this is unacceptable.

FMIL calls and starts this? “I’m sorry to cut you off, [FMIL], but this is not an appropriate, time, place, or person to unload all of your feelings, so this phone call is over.” Or something like that.

Post # 13
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Good for your FI for standing up for you!

Post # 14
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

@Overjoyed:  They probably do this to you because they know they can. You take it everytime and they have no consequences. Unfortunately, as soon as you resit, you will be the ugly person.
Been there 🙁

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