- 7 years ago
- Wedding: March 2012
Ok girlies I have a situation and need some help. You may want to read my old post http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/someones-trying-to-steal-my-man-what-should-i-do-long for a bit of back ground.
I’ll just write a bullet account to save you having to read an essay, please feel free to ask for more..
FI and I met in UK, he’s an aussie and was manager of a bar that I worked in
- We are now both living together in Australia and have been for 18months
- A few days before NYE I have an email from a girl who also used to work in the bar, (although we never worked together she was always hanging around with the other employees, mostly the bar owner, who had a lot of money and used to splash it freely.) contacted me via facebook to say she was in Australia and would like to come and visit us.
- I was a bit surprised, we had never been friendly and had only met on 6-7 occassions, however she was more friendly with FI and they had been on an unsuccessful date before we met.
- Understanding her situation (i.e being alone in a strange country over holidays) I offered for her to celebrate NYE weekend with us
- At the time she was living with an Australia girl who she had also worked with at the bar in a different state
- She came to stay with us and the weekend turned into 7 weeks!
- She never offered any rent, or contributed towards bills/shopping, she happily ate all the meals I cooked her, used all of our internet credit to job hunt and rarely helped out around the help.
- At this time I was having some problems about the way she was acting around/toward FI – this has now been resolved
- When she found a job, she moved out. We didn’t get a ‘Thank-you for putting me up and helping me get on my feet’
- She has continued to come down under the pretence of visiting us roughly every 3 weeks
- I feel her main reason for visiting is to see whichever boy she is involved with at that time. Believe me there have been a about 6 (In six months)
- She also has a few friends in our town, some she has worked with overseas and some which she has made when she was staying with us.
This weekend she started emailing me mid-week asking what our plans were. I told her we were busy all weekend with events and work (Note, I can go a couple of weeks without hearing from her and will begin to get emails when she wants to visit again). To be honest, she had only been down two weekends earlier for a long weekend and its rather inconvenient.
She stays in the spare room which has a sofa bed and doubles as my dressing room. I also keep the majority of my clothes in there, so when she comes down I need to take all my day to day toiletries and hair things out and plan my wardrobe so I am not disturbing her. It also means I have to rewash the sheets she uses and pack all the bed away. At the moment, the weather is very wet and I am drying our washing out of the way in the spare room also.
Also, my FI is working so hard at the mo and is usually asleep by 8.30pm in the evenings so the only real time we spend together is on the weekend and its hard to do things when you have someone staying with you and feel like we have to include her.
She emailed me on Friday to say she had arranged to go out with FI’s brother that night (who also worked at bar!). He has his own place in the same town as us, so I asked her is she was going to stay with him. She asked if she could stay with us. I felt put out and a bit used, as she wasn’t even coming down under the pretence of hanging with us, but just to stay at our free all inclusive hotel.
She came down and went out with FI’s brother and his friends. FI and I went out for a meal. When we got home I went in the spare room to set it all up. I noticed I couldn’t see her sleeping bag. It’s REALLY cold here at the moment, so two weeks ago when she came down I asked if she could bring her sleeping bag cos FI and I have spare duvet on our bed. I text her asking if she had remembered to bring it and she text back saying she had forgotten it. I had to give her one of our duvets and I put the heater on in that room so she wouldn’t be cold.
Well, she didn’t even bother coming home! So all night we were freezing our butt off and she didn’t even use the blanket! I went shopping the next day and she text me about eleven saying ‘Will you be home before your FI because I have shut up the house and left the key inside’ I text back saying ‘Um, no, he’ll be home at 1pm’.
So I’m really mad because FI was up at 5am to go to work and he would have been tired and where’s the common sense in leaving a key in a locked house, she knows that we usually leave it in the lantern in the porch?
Well I get home and FI, her and a few friends are in the lounge. FI tells me, she didn’t lock the house, she just shut the door’?! Wha? I think she’s fncking with my head?
Oh, by the way she stayed at this FI’s friends house. He lives 5 mins walk from ours. He has a girlfriend who this girl is friendly with. Well the girlfriend wasn’t around on the weekend, so she went back to this boys after the pub– just the two of them – and said she stayed on the sofa. When she told me I said I would be furious if my FI had a girl stay over when I wasn’t there and she just repeated that nothing happened.
So, do I write her an email politely explaining why she can’t stay with us? If so what can I say?
This girl is very manipulative and has already told people times when she wants to come down and how she doesn’t want to put us out. They will then relay this to us, which is embarrassing as I think we have been very kind to her and she’s making out like we aren’t being nice to her. She will tell me she is lonely, but she has lots of friends here, ones she has met in the UK and also her, flatmates, workmates etc.
Or should I just wait tl next time she asks and continue to make up excuses?
I would estimate that in the past 6 months, she has spent atleast 2.5months living at ours. And we’re not even friends?
Another thing, before she came to us, she was living at this girlfriends place in for 6 weeks. Then a few weekends ago it was this girls 30th birthday and our ‘Guest’ told her she had to work so she didn’t have to go and came to our town instead because we were going out! So I have no doubts that she is just using us too….