(Closed) fed up with family-very long and confusing!

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@ChocolateLime:  Both. Dads a fruit loop because you would marry your FI if his dad was wearing a paper bag. Or at least you should. FIs folks are being a pain in the ass but it sounds financial and we can’t really dictate someone else’s ability to pay to coordinate. FI mum sounds like she’s throwing her own party with the desert. Oy. Good luck.

Post # 4
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

I think you need to be careful what information you share with your parents. I don’t know if your dad is a fruit loop, and I really don’t think it’s up to children to give their parents “stern talking to”s to parents about relatively unimportant things (what people wear, how much they contribute to a wedding financially–I fall into the my wedding, my money camp with no expectations of parents to pay for anything.).

It sounds like there is already bad blood between your dad and your FI’s family.

I think a good rule of thumb is you talk to your parents about things that are related to them (which does not include what you FFIL wears–they can’t control or change what another grown adult does), and he talks to his parents about things that relate to them.

Post # 5
Member
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

@ChocolateLime:  I think your Dad threatening to call off the wedding’s a bit much, but I can totally see where he’s coming from and sympathise with him. If he’s the one putting the majority of the money towards the wedding, and he’s happy to go along with your plans, it must really nark him that your FILs are trying to call all the shots and they aren’t contributing equally! And yes, it is quite rude of them not to offer to help out your Dad, but instead try and sneak it behind everyone’s back.

I do think your FI should represent to your parents perhaps that they should take a step back though. Perhaps anything they disagree on you could claim that you’re doing because it’s what YOUR parents prefer, that way if they argue they’re not just insulting you, they’re insulting your parents, which might make them think twice.

Post # 7
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

@ChocolateLime:  “I agree my wedding my money but surely this means who ever is paying for what has a say in it? i am paying for the dads attire therefore in my opinion they should not argue with my colour choices for 1 day.”

If you are paying for FFIL’s attire, you absolutely should be able to dictate (within reason of course–no guy is going to wear a tutu, no matter who pays for it) what he wears.

Keep in mind, most posts (including yours above) don’t contain every detail or piece of background information, so the responses are going to be of a general nature.

Post # 8
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@SeaSalt:  What’s wrong with tutus?? 

😉

Post # 9
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Motor museum

I am from the UK and have never heard of this. I planned my wedding this year. Are you sure about this?

Post # 11
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Motor museum

You’re paying for their outfits? I wouldn’t bother at all. Just leave them to it

The topic ‘fed up with family-very long and confusing!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors