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Tradition behind the cake feeding:
Sharing the first piece of wedding cake is a wedding tradition with Roman roots. The Romans believed that by eating the wedding cake together a special bond was created between the couple. The wheat used to bake the cake was symbolic of fertility and a "fruitful union", while the cake's sweetness was thought to bring sweetness to all areas of the couple's new life.
From Yourwedding101
We did it but I made my husband promise to not smash it in my face and he didn't. If you don't want to do it, then don't! Traditions are made to be broken!
We used cheescake instead...I convinced my Hubby (!) to be nice, but I had other plans. lol. He was going to follow my wish until I smashed it in his face first.
Overall it's a personal preferance. If you want to leave it out, leave it out. = )
We are going to feed each other cake, but first we are going to cut it and put it on a plate and then we are going to feed each other with a fork. Neither of us like the smooshing part.
I haven't talked to my FI about it yet but I like the idea of just sharing with a fork...he knows that I won't be happy if I get cake smeared on me!
I think about in the same way as breaking bread or toasting a glass of wine. I think it's a special celebratory moment. But if I knew my fiance was going to shove in my face, I might feel differently!
I don't know. I always get a bit cringey when I see couples feeding each other, even at weddings. It just seems so intimate to me and I dunno, I just feel a bit uncomfortable about it (I clearly have issues! LOL)
. I flat out refused to do it at our engagement party and I don't really want to do it at the wedding either! I might be able to handle it if a fork is used but even then.... actually I just imagined it and felt all icky so maybe not. I think the most I could handle is the linked arms where you're actually feeding yourself...
We fed each other our wedding cake! But there was no smashing involved. Ive also heard that feeding the cake to each other is symbolic of nurturing and caring for one another. Feeding someone = providing nourishment. Thats why some older folks get offended when the couples smash the cake because it is considered to be disrespectful. The feeding will be over in no time at all, I love our pictures from it though because it was definitely awkward feeding each other the cake! Then after we kissed and its a cute picture because we have cake all over our fingers!
http://brutus.smugmug.com/Weddings/The-Wedding-Tale-of-Clare-and/Part-13/13519702_TkhD7#P-11-9
http://brutus.smugmug.com/Weddings/The-Wedding-Tale-of-Clare-and/Part-13/13519702_TkhD7#984435867_fADNo
I am SO SCARED that he will smash cake in my face. I will laugh on the outside but be punching him in the face on the inside. I think it's cute to feed each other the cake, but seriously. So. Scared.
And yes, I've told him that I would be pissed. He has no shame.
I am NOT a fan of smearing the cake in each others' faces, so my fiance has been warned. If you plan to feed each other cake, but do not want this to be done, I would make sure he knows the penalties beforehand lol.
@aaiimmee: I totally agree.
FI and I had this discussion and she kept hinting at "doing it anyway", but after a few rounds of this I think I made it CRYSTAL clear how un-funny I find it and what would happen if she chooses this route anyway. There is no way she'd do it now, knowing the guaranteed outcome. ;)
I think that the whole cake smashing thing is horrid... no offense to anyone who did it or plans it and is okay with it, we all have our own opinions.. but yeah, it's an absolute FORBIDDEN thing in my view.
We do like the symbolism of feeding each other though and will use forks.
We did a mock wedding in hs where we learned that feeding the cake is about nurturing each other, so smashing it isn't very nurturing.
My hubby knew how I felt about this, and he respects me enough not to do that. We ended up just skipping the cake feeding/cutting all together anyway. For me, it's just another way to be in the spot light that I didn't want.
I LOVE the feedin each other cake thing but i HATE the face-smearing thing thats become all the rage D:< its become so overused and unfunny..and a waste of cake and makeup!
I like the fork idea....you definitely can't smash cake if you're using a fork.
We'll be feeding each other cake...I guess I've never thought about not doing it. But there will be NO cake smashing. I've already made it crystal clear to FI that I feel it's disrespectful & rude. Not to mention, I do not want cake in my hair, ruining my makeup & up my nose.
I like the idea of feeding a bite of cake to eachother with a fork but I basically told FH that if he rubs the cake in my face, I will cry or get furiously angry (depending on my mood), neither of which he wants to happen on our wedding day. I really hate things on my face that are not supposed to be there (cake!!), and I really don't want to break out on our honeymoon because of having cake on my freaking face.
Plus I'll have my hair and make up professionally done and I will be pissed if it gets purposefully ruined before the end of the night.
I'm fully aware of the meaning behind the tradition and where it came from but I don't know yet if I actually want to do that. Traditions can be (and are) broken all the time. This is not etiquette related at all. While I understand the sentiment behind it, I feel awkward watching other couples feed each other so I don't make any of our guests feel uncomfortable. At the same time, most guests really don't pay that much attention during the cake cutting anyway, if they are even watching it.
I hate it...the feeding and the smashing. Im am not a fan and I dont even think it looks nice. I feel very passionately about this haha, along with the garter/bouquet throwing......they are all so anti-climactic and wack to me.
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Has anyone cut out the feeding each other cake tradition? I was never a fan and I would cut out the feed part and just cut the darn thing but the FI wants to do it, so I'll let him have it...but I know he wants to smear it on my face...
What does this tradition mean anyway?? Has anyone cut this out?