Feedback on my vows?

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@mmcdebbie:  I just want to say your vows are amazing!  I love this line:

I promise never to forget that being deeply in love is only part of marriage, and that a successful marriage means choosing each other over and over again.

I wouldn’t change a thing!

Post # 4
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@mmcdebbie:  damn! If you want people to cry then mission accomplished

Post # 5
Hostess
30315 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@mmcdebbie:  Those are absolutely stunning! I love your vows!

Post # 6
Member
474 posts
Helper bee

Those are beautiful vows! Can I marry you? haha

Post # 7
Member
715 posts
Busy bee

@mmcdebbie:  Very, very beautiful and touching.

You maybe left that out for privacy reasons, but at the ceremony I#d probably add your brothers name or nickname in that line.

…my brother NAME’s death had broken some of the magic in my world…

Post # 8
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Kili:  I don’t know if I’d add his name… these are vows between two people and I wouldn’t invoke a third.

OP – though I think it was well incorporated, I think that you may want to be careful when mentioning your brother’s death – you don’t want to start crying about that at your wedding. I don’t know much about the situation so maybe you’ve got a better grip on things than I would. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

Those are so beautiful. Clearly you are deeply in-love.

I do have one comment…
When we met, my brother’s death had broken some of the magic in my world.

When I read this line, it consumed my thoughts. Even though I kept reading (purposefully as if you we reading and I was listening), this line grabbed my attention, and was the most memorable part (to me) of your vows. Perhaps only because I don’t know you, so I was sad to hear that you had to deal with such a terrible loss? So, maybe it wouldn’t stand out to your wedding guests.
But, personally, I wouldn’t want such a tragedy to be the thing that stuck out the most about my vows. You seem to be a really good writer so maybe you can edit this line a bit to get the same message across, without it having such a dark impact on a beautiful day.

Hope that makes sense.
Overall, it is really well written, I would just personally like for something more positive to be what stood out to me.

Post # 10
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@mmcdebbie:  Confession – I’m not a fan of vows written by the couple.  Namely because normally they are not vows so much as gushing about how much they love each other with sentiments best said in private rather than in front of a congregation.  They already know you love each other – that’s why everyone is there.  The overly personal stuff just makes everyone else squirm uncomfortably.  So, my advise is to go with the traditional wedding ceremony.

 

 

 

If you still want to stick with your own vows, then my honest opinion is that the literary references sound pretentious.  Nobokovian?  Also, talking about how much he loves YOU sounds  somewhat self-involved.  Its more charming to talk about how much you love him or how much he makes you feel loved. 

 

 

 

I do like that you make actual promises/vows to choose each other every day, have his back, etc.  Those are nice and not schlocky.  

 

 

 

Post # 11
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@mmcdebbie:  I think since literature is such a big part of your life it is a nice thing to include. My fiance and I are also into literature and are includilng some readings from our favorite novels – it never occured to me that it could be considered pretentious but I never would think to care haha. It’s your wedding. I really like vows written by the couple as I feel they are more personal

Post # 12
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

I think these are beautifully written and I almost teared up while reading them. I do agree with other PPs that I would try to keep the focus positive and not mention your brother’s death, but if the healing is a point you want to emphasize, include it. These are your vows so speak your truth!

Post # 13
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@mmcdebbie:  Whoa.  These are amazing, seriously.  Just…wow.

Post # 14
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

And I was at a wedding this summer where the bride referenced her father’s terminal illness in her vows and it was SO touching.  She included it as a way of showing how the groom has always been there for her.  Of course she cried, and so did the whole audience, but it was really touching.

Post # 15
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I think that your vows are amazing. I love how you meshed your idea of fairy-tale love with the reality of your relationship. 

Post # 16
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

@mmcdebbie:  Those are amazing! I love the first part about your first date, it sounds romantic. I wouldnt change anything.

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