Post # 1
My fiance and I are writing our own vows for our February wedding, and I was hoping to get some feedback to see if there’s anythign to edit beforehand. Here they are:
Though I’ve been able to blame literature as I’ve grown older, to say I was born with overly romantic notions about the world is a vast understatement. At the end of our first date, we sat on your back porch in the freezing cold looking at the stars. I cut to the chase and asked you if you believed in the kind of grand Nabokovian love that changes everything, and you said you weren’t sure, but that you wanted to believe. I knew right then that I wanted to be the one to make it true for you.
Since then, you have shown me what a real relationship means and given life to the idea of love I’d carted around so easily: How to care selflessly. Communicate honestly. Be vulnerable. I love you because you make me feel like I can do anything, and I am safe, even though the world tells us differently over and over again. When we met, my brother’s death had broken some of the magic in my world. You managed to not only heal something large and unnameable in me but make me better than before.
Being worthy of a love as large as yours is a life’s work. I promise to try hard every day to be my best self for you. I promise to make you feel cherished, valued, appreciated and important. I vow to love you fiercely and be the woman and partner you deserve. I promise never to forget that being deeply in love is only part of marriage, and that a successful marriage means choosing each other over and over again. I promise to always have your back. To be your guardian and your protector. I will endeavor to make the gap between you and your dreams ever smaller. And I promise to make the grand literary love that is the cornerstone of what makes us human real in our home. You make my life. I will love you ‘til the day I die.
Thanks in advance for all your thoguhts!! 🙂
Post # 3
@mmcdebbie: I just want to say your vows are amazing! I love this line:
I promise never to forget that being deeply in love is only part of marriage, and that a successful marriage means choosing each other over and over again.
I wouldn’t change a thing!
Post # 4
@mmcdebbie: damn! If you want people to cry then mission accomplished
Post # 5
@mmcdebbie: Those are absolutely stunning! I love your vows!
Post # 6
Those are beautiful vows! Can I marry you? haha
Post # 7
@mmcdebbie: Very, very beautiful and touching.
You maybe left that out for privacy reasons, but at the ceremony I#d probably add your brothers name or nickname in that line.
…my brother NAME’s death had broken some of the magic in my world…
Post # 8
@Kili: I don’t know if I’d add his name… these are vows between two people and I wouldn’t invoke a third.
OP – though I think it was well incorporated, I think that you may want to be careful when mentioning your brother’s death – you don’t want to start crying about that at your wedding. I don’t know much about the situation so maybe you’ve got a better grip on things than I would. 🙂
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club
Those are so beautiful. Clearly you are deeply in-love.
I do have one comment…
“When we met, my brother’s death had broken some of the magic in my world.“
When I read this line, it consumed my thoughts. Even though I kept reading (purposefully as if you we reading and I was listening), this line grabbed my attention, and was the most memorable part (to me) of your vows. Perhaps only because I don’t know you, so I was sad to hear that you had to deal with such a terrible loss? So, maybe it wouldn’t stand out to your wedding guests.
But, personally, I wouldn’t want such a tragedy to be the thing that stuck out the most about my vows. You seem to be a really good writer so maybe you can edit this line a bit to get the same message across, without it having such a dark impact on a beautiful day.
Hope that makes sense.
Overall, it is really well written, I would just personally like for something more positive to be what stood out to me.
Post # 10
@mmcdebbie: Confession – I’m not a fan of vows written by the couple. Namely because normally they are not vows so much as gushing about how much they love each other with sentiments best said in private rather than in front of a congregation. They already know you love each other – that’s why everyone is there. The overly personal stuff just makes everyone else squirm uncomfortably. So, my advise is to go with the traditional wedding ceremony.
If you still want to stick with your own vows, then my honest opinion is that the literary references sound pretentious. Nobokovian? Also, talking about how much he loves YOU sounds somewhat self-involved. Its more charming to talk about how much you love him or how much he makes you feel loved.
I do like that you make actual promises/vows to choose each other every day, have his back, etc. Those are nice and not schlocky.
Post # 11
@mmcdebbie: I think since literature is such a big part of your life it is a nice thing to include. My fiance and I are also into literature and are includilng some readings from our favorite novels – it never occured to me that it could be considered pretentious but I never would think to care haha. It’s your wedding. I really like vows written by the couple as I feel they are more personal
Post # 12
I think these are beautifully written and I almost teared up while reading them. I do agree with other PPs that I would try to keep the focus positive and not mention your brother’s death, but if the healing is a point you want to emphasize, include it. These are your vows so speak your truth!
Post # 13
@mmcdebbie: Whoa. These are amazing, seriously. Just…wow.
Post # 14
And I was at a wedding this summer where the bride referenced her father’s terminal illness in her vows and it was SO touching. She included it as a way of showing how the groom has always been there for her. Of course she cried, and so did the whole audience, but it was really touching.
Post # 15
I think that your vows are amazing. I love how you meshed your idea of fairy-tale love with the reality of your relationship.
Post # 16
@mmcdebbie: Those are amazing! I love the first part about your first date, it sounds romantic. I wouldnt change anything.