Post # 1
Bees, I need your help.
My grandfather (a wonderful man, may his memory be a blessing) passed away two years ago. My grandmother is an awesome woman, and my fiance/husband just adores her. She is hilarious and adorable and wonderful and sweet and caring and giving. AND hosting a brunch for us the day after the wedding.
So, I didn’t want to give her a plus one of just “some guest.” I asked her for an invite list, with A and B listers. 7 A listers, 3 B listers. (They are her friends, some of which I’ve met. ALL the family is already invited.)
Even though we’re inviting friends for her, I feel weird not giving her a “guest” on her invite. Those guests, they’re sort of her plus one? or no? Why do I feel awkward about this?
Help to either
1. calm down, it’s fine.
2. call her and ask if she’s bringing a “plus one.”
Post # 3
I don’t think you need to give her a plus one. It would probably be akward for her to think she’s supposed to bring a date. Especially if you’re inviting friends of hers, and she’ll know family, there’s no reason to put a plus one.
Post # 4
@artbee:🙂 Thank you. Don’t know why I’m even worried about this. Her best friend is a family friend and will be there, her kids and grandkids will be there, and her special #1 on the guest list cousin is going to be there, too.
For some reason I just feel weird about the invitation itself that just says “Grandmother.” Maybe I’m just missing my grandfather a little.
Post # 5
i wouldn’t worry about it. you’re already inviting people for her
Post # 6
Calm down, it’s fine.
Actually, if grandma is old-fashioned, she is more likely to be disconcerted by the implication that there are going to be a whole bunch of strangers there whom you don’t know — the guests of those people you did address with “and guest” on the invitation — than by knowing she won’t have the chance to add to that long list of unacquainted guests. I know my grandma would have been utterly dismayed by such a notion.
Of course, your grandma is likely to be a great deal more modern than mine was. Not having children of my own to keep track by, it’s hard for me to remember that many of today’s grandmas are younger than I am.
Post # 7
@aspasia475:She’s 83! She tries to keep modern with technology and tries to understand what the grandkids are thinking (and how) but she can be pretty old fashioned when she wants to.
Post # 8
@ellabee: Okay! She’s definately got a year or two on me!
Humour us both, and don’t let on that you put “and guest” on ANY of your invitations ;D
Post # 9
@aspasia475:🙂 can do! Thanks!
Post # 10
neither my fiance and I are putting “and guest” on our grandmother’s invitations. even worse, they don’t live here and won’t be able to come (and of course live alone…). I feel horrible about that…I miss my grandfather too. love~
Post # 11
I’m not putting and guest on my grandma’s. She isn’t seeing anyone, there will be lots of family there, and I know she doesn’t want to just bring some random person to my wedding, she’d probably be offended if I even asked. But you know your grandmother best.
Post # 12
My grandma is not getting a guest. But my mom’s best friend, L, is also bring another friend, E. I guess because they’re thinking my mom won’t have much time for L. And E *is* a friend of my mom’s too, but they’re not as close as my mom and L are. My brother, who is a groomsmen, but doesn’t know anyone in the bridal party, is also bring a friend. I’m letting a couple other people bring a date too, even though they are “technically” in a relationship. I guess I’m kind of playing it by ear. If I feel that they will be more comfortable with someone there, then they can bring them.
Post # 13
My grandmother isn’t getting a guest, and neither is FI’s. Their whole families will be there, they’ll be sitting with relatives, etc. FI’s grandfather (other side) actually is bringing a guest, but that’s because he’s been seeing this woman for years and we’ve met her before. I doubt your grandmother wants to bring a “date” to the wedding, and she has already given you a list of people she’d want to hang out with. I think you’re fine.
Post # 14
If your grandma is open-minded about the whole thing, she may just feel free to ask you if she can bring someone if she wants to. but for me, as long as her loved ones and friends are there, she will have a grand time!
Post # 15
I did ask my FMIL if she wanted to bring someone, but only because she has been “casually” seeing a male acquaintance I guess. But I guess their relationship is more private, and he doesn’t really going to family functions. So she said she’s going alone. I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t already have someone I thought she would bring.
Post # 16
Wow… Now I feel guilty for not even giving my Gram an option of inviting a friend. I just figured it would be a good time for her to talk to the family and to get to know my fiancee family. LOL!!