Feel like crap for not losing weight

posted 2 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 2
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

beth2507:  Well, 50lbs is a LOT of weight to lose on your own in about a years time.  It’s admirable, but not remotely easy.  Can you say you’ve done everything in your power consistently to lose the weight?  Because that’s what it takes.  Consider this, on the show Extreme Weightloss, Chris and Heidi Powell make their candidates move to a training facility in Arizona and then to live with them sometimes.  These people are hand held and guided for 365 days – what normal person has time for that??  

I wouldn’t beat yourself up.  Planning a wedding is stressful and time consuming, and though weightloss is ideal, it’s not always the easiest thing to do in the midst of all that!!  You made some major points: your fiance loves you and your dress fits.  Focus on the positives!

If you’re still interested in losing weight overall and not just for the wedding, I’d suggest myfitnesspal.com.  It really helped kick start my weight loss and kept me on track by seeing the numbers of calories, sugar, carbs and sodium I was consuming.  It was a wake up call.  Also, I enrolled in a lot of classes at my gym.  I find the structure is the push I need to get things done, rather than go myself and waste time on a treadmill.  

Good luck!  I’m sure you’ll be a gorgeous bride at any weight!   

Post # 3
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Take a deep breath and calm down. If the dress fits, you are fine. Your FI loves you now and he is promising to love you forever. This means all of you…not parts. The people you invited to your wedding are coming to see you get married, not coming to judge you on your weight. Don’t let the magazines or the fashion industry tell you that if you don’t wear a size 0 and look like you have been photoshopped walking down the street that you are not beautiful. 

 

Remember, the wedding is about saying I Do 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1884 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’ve been engaged for four months, and I’m getting married in four more months. I thought I’d see some weight loss by now too, but I’ve only lost about 3 pounds (I’d like to lose 15-20). What I started realizing is that I need to stop trying to lose weight “for the wedding” or “for the honeymoon”. Yes, those are still short term goals, but I’ve decided to make changes to my lifestyle and not try to do crazy diets or workout regimens that I know I won’t stick to. I still want to lose some weight I’ve put on over the past couple of years, but I also want to be toned, strong, and healthy.  Those arent changes that last if my sole purpose is losing weight for the wedding. Start making changes now for a healthy lifestyle and don’t pressure yourself for one day. You will look beautiful on your big day regardless. 

Post # 5
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Don’t be so hard on yourself! I have definitely struggled to lose weight in the past. It’s difficult at the best of times, let alone when you’re trying to plan a wedding. It’s SO easy to get off track.

The biggest concern when it comes to not losing weight around a wedding is your dress being too small, but you’ve said your dress fits, so that’s awesome! And your fiance loves you the way you are.

No one’s even going to notice your weight. They’re all going to see how beautiful you look, and how incredibly happy you are. So try to not stress about it!

Post # 6
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June, 2014

beth2507:  I felt exactly the same way but you know, the only thing people had to say was “You look beautiful” or “you’re glowing!” People are there to celebrate you and your FH and the only thing they’ll notice is how gorgeous you look in your gown and how happy you’ll look with your husband! 

Don’t feel bad about this. 50 pounds is a lot to lose and it’s easy to get discouraged and gain weight instead. Try to take smaller steps if you’re wanting to improve your body and health. Example: I want to lose 10 pounds in the next 6 months. Little victories encourage you to keep losing weight instead of discouraging you and making you want to give up. 

Much love to you and yours and have a beautiful wedding day!

Post # 7
Member
720 posts
Busy bee

beth2507:  I also gained 10 lbs instead of losing :/ Wedding planning is stressful, especially when you still have to deal with all that life has to offer over the course of a year (For me, that was grad school, family deaths, relationship issues/stress, a move, a new house, the list goes on.) I am right there with you about being pretty upset that I spent all this money on a beautiful dress to NOT look my best in it. I looked a lot better when I first met my fiance, that’s for sure.

You aren’t alone in this! It happens. Luckily you have an awesome man who loves you RIGHT NOW for who you are, so if next year when life calms down, you want to get in shape – you will have a lot less on your plate to deal with, and you will have a permanent exercise buddy for life. And you can celebrate your success with a great anniversary trip to some place with a beach, and he can be one of those rare guys bragging about how his wife gets HOTTER as she ages 😉

Post # 8
Member
1432 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m sorry you’re disappointed. Maybe it would make you feel better to think about the fact that you can still continue your weight loss journey after the wedding, and do a vow renewal or just plain old prof photography session once you are at your goal weight. The wedding is not the only day you will have to dress up and take photos! And I’m sure everyone will think you are a beautiful bride on your wedding day. 

Post # 9
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

 

beth2507:  Ok first of all….you have to love yourself and do the weightloss FOR YOU! not for how you think others will see you! that was my biggest mistake…i would yoyo diet all the time…so not healthy….all because i was worried people would think im a “fat bride”….but then I looked at myself one day after i almost passed out trying to crash diet because my wedding was 8 months away at that time and i had gained  5lbs instead of losing 40lbs….and i looked at myself in the mirror….i saw what made me unhappy and then….i had an epiphany when my Fiance got home….it dosent matter how people see me at any weight….i will only see the things I deemed needed fixed no matter how thin i became….this is my body, i love myself, my fiance loves me…and the weight im loosing now has NOTHING to do with the wedding…it has EVERYTHING to do with making myself happy and HEALTHY!

After the passing out episode i talked to my mom and a nutritionist and my fiance….and my mom showed me something from highschool….a few photos of me when i was in reality at the “goal weight” i was invisioning being for the wedding and myself….i looked SICK, i am barrel chested, athletic build, and am such a stocky build that when i got that thin…i looked like i was dying….it was a picture of me in a bikini, and you could see my bottom ribs, a few vertebra, and my face oh gawd….i lookedlike hell….my eyes were sunken in, i was even paler then normal….it was bad….and with the nutritionist she talked to me about healthy eating (not fad diets, not clean this, or cleanse that) but being HEALTHY….not a number on a scale….and ya know what…after that i have lost about 25lbs….not what i wanted, but i feel better, i exercise, i eat right, and i take care of myself…..

I go to zumba 3x/week because i love doing it….FI goes on bike rides with me….i go lift, i do yoga….I found what I enjoy to work out doing….not fads…..myfitnesspal.com is my friend it helps me make healthy choices in everyday life….FI and I both changed because we want kiddos soon and we want to be around for them and show them how to be healthy and fit….not skinny….

I am sure you will be gorgeous at any weight…and we are our own worst critics….but if you take anything away from this *DO NOT loose weight for the wedding, loose it for YOU because YOU want it off, not what you think anyone will think, because if it is for everyone else, you will never be satisfied, trust me! if you do it just for the wedding you will probably gain it all back in a few months and feel miserable….it is a lifestyle change that i work at everysingle day, i talk to a nutritionist (shes a friend of the family but is very good and has done her job for 20 years) every so often…and i avoid fad diets, pills, programs like the plague….because alot of them arent really good or you (like living on juice or a month, really bad for you)…

oh and i also learned the heard way….do not try and just drastically reduce your caloric intake, you need to match what you burn yes, but going nuts to loose weight puts your body in starvations mode, and after awhile it will store anything you put in your body because it needs the fuel….and has some really severe health consequences down the line….

bottom line…make yourself happy and your opinions of yourself good/happy ones before you try and please anyone else….

Post # 10
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

beth2507: 50 lbs sounds overwhelming. Maybe just set goals? In 5 lb sets? Something achievable that won’t overwhelm you. That was always my problem. I’d want to lose 20 or 30 lbs and it just seemed so far away, but when I set my goal to 1-2 lbs a week, I started doing really well and getting excited from week to week to see that I was losing something. I’m 15 lbs down now, and it took me months, but at least I’m getting there. Either way, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. If you FI loves you and you are honestly trying, that is what really matters.

I hope you feel more comfortable in your skin soon. It happens to a lot of us. Society has such unreal expectations for us. Even when you lose weight, something else isn’t good enough (chin, nose, stomach, not enough muscle…). I think being happy with yourself is harder than losing weight. Just remember that you’re your worst critic. Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
4641 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You may not have time to lose 50 pounds before your wedding but you do have time to learn to love yourself.

What makes a person beautiful/ attractive is their confidence. You said it yourself.. Your dress fits, your FI loves you, presumably your family and friends love you too.. Embrace all of the love around you and try to love yourself, you deserve it.

 

 

Post # 12
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Agree with all the comments posted here already – you will be lovely!!  And you fiance loves you just the way you are!

I also wanted to add…I see your wedding is in July?  Depending on when it is, there might still be time to lose 1-2 pounds!  Or if not, even de-bloating a bit can make a big difference in the way you feel and look!  Just drink lots of water and cut back a bit on carbs a couple days before the wedding – it’s amazing how much slimmer that can make you feel!!  Not that any of that is necessary or must-do, I just know it can be frustrating to feel helpless and disappointed with yourself – it can be really helpful to set a small, but achievable goal 🙂

Good luck on your big day – you will be beautiful!! 🙂

Post # 14
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee

beth2507:  :/ we have all felt like this. 

if not for a wedding, a high school reunion, vacation, summer etc.

Every single woman on here has set a date for themselves to lose X amount of weight and failed. It is because we are HUMAN.

we get caught up in life, we stress, we celebrate, we get busy, we indulge. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You were enjoying this past year of being engaged. Focus your energy on creating a healthy life style for your new chapter as husband and wife. 

You said it yourself, your dress fits and you have a FI who loves you – what else do you need?!

 

Post # 15
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I went into my engagement period wanting to lose 25 and lost only about 5. The way I figure it, my FH loved me at this current weight and as long as the dress fits, it should all be okay.

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