Post # 1
its my first post here.. and i tot i needed an outlet to release my feelings..
its 3 mths to my wedding, and i dun think im as excited as a bride should be.. im worried how being married will change my life (esp my freedom).. sometimes i feel i do not love him as much too.. after putting off the wedding for 3yrs and much chasing from him, we agreed to do it this year. in the initial stages of wedding planning, i was feeling ok but now im beginning to dread the future. i wonder whether i will really be happy. we rarely quarrel, even if we do, most likely im the one at fault (nitpicking, going out till late, ignoring his calls/texts, workaholic etc).
to add more troubles, i knew a guy for quite some time but we nv stayed in contact. it was only because of a work function, we exchanged numbers. we never met again and he would only text me once in a while. couple of months later, he asked me out for dinner and i obliged since its just dinner. we had a walk after dinner and he started hugging me. i didnt push him away (didnt know how to) and i concluded his actions were under the alcohol influence. during subsequent meetings, he would always hold me but still rarely texts me. i tend not to disclose my marital status unless i know the person well, so i would not ask others as well. i ended up leading him on for the next few mths, till i thought i should come clean recently. i felt bad for this whole thing, and everytime i recalled his words, i feel really shitty. he questioned my actions, and i admitted that i like him a little, tts why i didnt come clean. anyway, i dun think he is contacting me again in the foreseeable future.
i feel tired from the mess i created for myself. if i stop the wedding, its gonna be another big mess. if i dun stop the wedding, im afraid i wont be at ease with myself. fiance knows im a bit distanced at times these days but i do not know how to put it across to him without emotionally hurting ourselves. only positive thing that came out from this is i realise my character is quite flawed. lol
Post # 2
- Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN
[content moderated for name calling]
Post # 3
Cancel the wedding. Go to therapy for yourself. Figure out what *you* want out of life and out of the relationship. Perhaps you will figure out that you don’t even want to be with him.
Post # 5
Well if it’s going to be a big mess either way, you’d be better off canceling the wedding.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard
Please call off this wedding. It’s clear you are not in love with your FI. he deserves someone who is excited and loves him and can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with him. You need to find out what you truly want. It is not him. Trust me, when you know – you will know. It seems you are settling. He’s not the right one for you and visa versa.
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May
Postpone/ cancel the wedding. You need to analyze how you feel without wedding stress clouding your judgement. Wedding anxiety alone can be a doozey but if your questioning if you love him, there’s more to be looked at.
Stay away from “grass is greener boy”. That shouldn’t be a catalyst for your soul searching.
Post # 8
“i concluded his actions were under the alcohol influence”
<br /><br />Yeah…I’m concluding he’s not the only one ‘under the alcohol influence’.
Post # 9
If you don’t feel 95% certain that you will last another 40+ years with your fiance, it’s time to call off the wedding. A few doubts are normal, but it looks like you’re more interested in keeping your freedom and exploring who else is out there.
Post # 10
Sometimes, you need to get really badly hurt by someone to realize how crappy you were to someone else. I agree with other posters; your FI deserves much better (at least gauging the situation by the facts provided).
Post # 11
How old are you? You don’t sound like you’re ready to get married at all. You aren’t concerned about your FI at all and don’t seem concerned that you almost had an affair (that’s what it sounds to me). You need to delay/cancel the wedding and lay everything out to your FI so he can decide if he’s willing to work through this with you.
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Don’t get married. Seriously. Read your post out loud to yourself and listen to yourself.
Post # 13
im 28.. i have been together with FI for 7yrs. we do not live together and i see him only during weekends. im used to working late on weekdays which he disapproves of, so once we start living together, im worried this will be a source of conflict. this is the freedom im talking abt. the freedom to do what i want.
after being together for so long, i occasionally wonder what is the feeling of love. once in a while i still get adrenaline rush when i see him.
its hard to cancel when everyday someone will ask me on my wedding preps. i just cant find the courage to look into their eyes and say “i want to give up”. i will think abt this again
Post # 14
Is this a real post?
You need to cancel the wedding.