(Closed) Feel like I'm running out of time

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
482 posts
Helper bee

you cant go halfsies on a ring? or get a cheap stand in. maybe you need to have an indepth chat about fertility at your age. alot of guys just dont understand the urgency. you can still get engaged while he takes his year to pay things off. maybe you two can set up savings/wedding fund, make some cutbacks.

Post # 4
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I met my fiance last year at the age of 35 my fiance was 38. We got engaged this year and will marry next year. These times that you spend worrying about your ages instead spend it loving each other more. Everything in life works out the way it needs to. I have a wonderful saying to remind myself to stop obsessing and worrying. “Let it be what it needs to be” and like Byron Katie said “Life with resolve itself in the process of life itself”.

Post # 6
1404 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

If money’s the issue, settle for a stand-in ring for now and get yourselves down to the courthouse to seal the deal. You can always upgrade the bling and throw a big wedding when you’re more financially secure. Those things can be put on hold. Your fertility, however, cannot.

Post # 7
75 posts
Worker bee


I’ve been with my guy for close to 8 years, and it’s taken him a little longer than a year now to get ready to propose (i.e. pay off debt, design the ring, buy the ring, have the ring sized, plan something special, etc…). He’s told me he’ll be asking me sometime before my 31st birthday on 12/02. When you’re ready, waiting is hard, but I’m sure it’ll be worth it.

I think you were smart to talk to your boyfriend if you’re really ready to spend your life with him…and, you deifnitely sound like you’re ready. Now, he knows your answer and can use this year to plan out something amazing for you to look forward to!

Remember: BIG things take time. He loves you and knows what you want now, so he’ll do it soon πŸ˜‰

Best of luck, Sparkles81 πŸ™‚

Post # 9
901 posts
Busy bee

I’m with everyone else here saying that you should consider a less expensive ring. The ring my SO just ordered cost just a little over $1000, which we both thought was very reasonable. I don’t like expensive jewelry and will not wear diamonds for ethical reasons. Also, we want to spend more money in other places, like on our honeymoon.

There are a lot of great lower cost options for engagement rings. We went with Diamond Nexus Labs, but there’s a lot of different diamond simulants out there. Plus moissanite or any number of other stones. You could get something that is absolutely gorgeous and different for a song.

Post # 10
901 posts
Busy bee

Also, I wanted to add that I feel your pain! I broke down in tears one day and poured my heart out to my SO about the biological clock issue. He was very sweet about it, actually. Our timeline was already pretty short, but I’m impatient. 

It’s natural and responsible to worry about your fertility!!

Post # 11
1059 posts
Bumble bee

@Sparkles81:  Just wanted to add that sometimes the cheaper/stand-in ring option might not work. When I mentioned how much I thought was reaonsable my SO made it clear that the ring is “OUR” thing, not just mine, and reflects on him as well, and so he wanted something he was comfortable with. While thankfully we don’t have financial stuff to take into accoutn, our ideas of what is appopriate to spend differs by several orders of magnitude – with mine being less. So, just consider that even though you might be happy with much less, he might not be, and try and understand it from his perspective if he says that.

Post # 12
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I agree with MariaW – Some guys believe that the ring will reflect on them… I think he may be concerned if he gets you a cheap ring… well it represents how he feels about you, and even if it is only a stand in ring… My man told me re: Promise Rings, what was the point and what a waste. If something is worth doing, it is worth doing properly the first time.

You could suggest helping to fund the ring, maybe loan him money or something on the proviso that no one would ever know..

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