(Closed) Feel like my son is being replaced :(

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4478 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m sorry about that.  It’s a very difficult situation.  Your ex sounds like a real piece of work.  I don’t blame you for being frustrated.  It’s a slap in the face.  It’s just wrong.


The little boy you say is replacing your son is innocent in this.  He’s coming from a broken home, and at least has a father figure.  You’re worried about how you’ll explain why your son has been replaced by this other child.  You don’t try to explain it; you don’t say he was “replaced”.  These things will just scar him further.  You could simply say, if he asks, that some fathers just don’t involve themselves in their children’s lives; it’s not right, and it’s not fair, but it happens, and your son has a mother who loves him very much.  

Post # 4
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I am just, so, so sorry. 

All I can think to say is that when he asks, as one day he will, you say “sometimes there are people in the world who you want nothing more than to be in your life, but for reasons that no one but them can explain, they don’t want to be a part of yours. It is a hard thing to think about but in the end you must believe that this is for the best and forcing it would just cause more hurt” – or something to that effect.


I am really sorry. I hope your son had a happy birthday all the same. 🙂

Post # 5
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

This pisses me the F off!!!  First off I will never I repeat NEVER be with a man that doesn’t take care of his child.  When I say take care of I don’t mean MONEY I mean spending time with, teaching them things.  Does his Girlfriend not realize that the same way he  is treating your son might be the same way he will treat their child if they were to have one and then split up?

I would just leave him alone.  I wouldn’t text, call or anything…I’m gonna just leave this alone cause it really pisses me off

Post # 6
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mrsjjohnson2b: I second this. It’s really, really messed up and I am so sorry. Sometimes I wonder if people like your EX even think about the kids in the relationship. The boy is his son…. regardless of what he feels for this other chick…. he has priorities to his own child and this is not fair to you or your boy. 

I’m so sorry. I would also ignore it and try to move on and be happy without him in your lives right now. I’m just so sorry your son has to grow up like this right now. It’s not right and makes me mad as well. 

Post # 7
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I know it is hard, but I would focus on the people in his life that do love him very much. You aren’t going to change his father. All you can do is is provide him with all the other things he needs. Create your own traditions and special things, try to maintain the relationship with his sisters the best you can, and he will feel very loved.

Post # 8
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I hate to hear stories like this, how can a father cause such pain to his own child, when it would take so little to prevent it?  What a terrible situation to be in.  I totally understand why you went and picked your son up, and am not questioning your decision at all, but I’m wondering if it might not be better for him to get to know this other boy, and spend that time with his sisters too?  If he’s only allowed to be around his family when the gf and/or boy’s not around, it might only estrange him further.  Again, you’re in an impossible situation and I’m in no way saying you did the wrong thing, it’s like they ambushed you.

Post # 9
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

That is horrible, poor little guy 🙁  Sadly, a lot (not all) men are controlled by their “other head”.  This meaning, if they get a girlfriend who feels that their relationship with their children is important, then they will take care of their child and be responsible.  Unfortunately, more often than not, men get with women who don’t want them to have anything to do with their kids.  Because she is the one giving it up, your son’s father is going to comply with his girlfriend’s wishes.  If that means shutting his own flesh and blood child out to father one who isn’t his, that’s what he’s going to do.  I’ve seen it done so many times.  It’s pathetic, really.  I mean, his girlfriend can leave him at any time and her son will go on to have a different “daddy”.  But, your child is always going to be his biological kid, no matter what.  I have a feeling your ex is really going to regret this in the future. 

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