(Closed) feel like time is running out

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I see your point!! Ah why don’t men get it… Planning a wedding is exiting and does take a long time, I also can’t understand why he would make you wait like that…

At the same time, I think this official proposal thing puts a lot of pressure on men. They need to buy a ring, plan an amazing proposal and an amazing evening. I don’t know how your bf is on the planning stuff, but my FI sucks at it and is always postponing it (whenever I ask him to plan anything).

I am not sure what kind of proposal you are hoping for, but maybe you should reassure him that you don’t expect anything great or grand, you simply want to spend a special heartfelt evening together where you both agree that you are ready to start the process that will eventually lead to marriage.

Maybe with less preassure to plan something grand he’ll actually get on with it and you will be able to consider yourself engaged!

Post # 4
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If your guy is stubborn (like mine), nothing will stop him from planning the proposal his way. He won’t give a flyin’ damn about time limits to book vendors. He simply won’t care.

So sit tight and look anxious. That’s all!

Post # 5
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

Awwww I hope he does it soon too!!! Welcome to the Bee

Post # 6
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why don’t you talk to him about your timeline concerns? He can’t read your mind and know what you are worrying about. It sounds like you’ve discussed the marriage but not proposal timeline. He probably doesn’t understand what goes into planning a wedding – have you discussed what type of wedding you want? Because that’s another conversation you need to have to even know if 2011 will be feasible if you wait to get engaged until later in the year.

Communicate communicate communicate. Never stop communicating. That’s what marriage is all about!

Post # 9
Member
1742 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Can you tell him, “Honey, I’m excited about gettgin started planning our wedding, but feel kinda silly talking to eople about it without it being “official”.  I don’t need a hot air balloon ride complete with unicorns and rainbows spelling our names…. I just need you to tell me it’s official, wth or without a ring (only if you’re cool with not haivng a ring, though)?”

If not, can you nonchanlantly start mentioning, “oh, by the way, so and so venue needs to know by such and such to be reserved, and they’re in big demand right now,” or “wow – did you know it can take X amount of months to just get a wedding dress/reserve tuxedos/pick a cake/etc?”  Or how about “such and such from across the country says the want to visit, can I tell them about the plans so they can decide to come for the wedding instead?  I feel funny about letting them visit twice or telling them about the wedding if we’re not officially engaged?”

I think many men think a wedding can be slapped together in a few weeks notice, but unless it’s Vegas, that’s quite an undertaking.  If he’s made up his mind about you, mybe he’s worried about not being able to ask you in the most romantic manner – the engagement IS kinda the guy’s chance to shine, so try to back off, give him a few weeks if you can to not mention it, and see if he relaxes.  V-day is coming, in addition to the aniiversary.  Try to hold out at least until then.

Post # 10
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Maybe talk to him and see if you guys can set a more specific time that you want to get married (at least something like “summer of 2011” or “fall of 2011”, though setting a month would be even better). Since you’ve already talked marriage and plan on getting married this year, I don’t think that’s pushing things too much. Then see if he’d be ok with you looking into some sites/vendors, even before the official proposal. If he’s ok with that, you could have the time you need to do research and find a place while he could still have the time he needs to plan a proposal

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