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Oh yeah!! Hence the DW - we paid for travel/vacation, but not for a wedding... And, whenever I look at my rings, I think of all the good times and travel that we're doing, that we could not have done if we had chosen a more "traditional" path...
Like seriously, we made a concsious choice not to spend too much on wedding related stuff and use our money to have a blast as a couple before having babies and saving for starting our lives together, and for us, it's so worth it.
Try looking into some local hair salons that do makeup. I'm not getting a "makeup artist", instead I'm having a girl at the local salon do my makeup. She's professionally trained & I'm sure will do a wonderful job, for $40.
thats exactly why we are doign a DW to Jamaica. We pay for our travel and hotel, a small wedding package with the resort and its done. I dont have to worry about anything. I just tell them my colors and they set up everything in those colors. I work full time and go to school full time, so I dont have time to plan a big DIY wedding like I wish I could.
We also bought a house last year, so things are tight and we are the only ones paying for or contributing our wedding.
I just cant fathom (no offense ladies!) spending 20-30k on a wedding. Id rather put it into my house or start a family. I dont want to go into a marriage in debt.
I know what you mean. Attach the word "wedding" to something and it automatically inflates the price. I guess you just have to figure out what's "worth it" and where you can scrimp...something we are all dealing with too. :)
Yeah I'm just having my hair lady do my makeup for an addition $15 on top of the hairdo. When I read about airbrushing and professional foundation I get confused. I've never worn foundation in my life and I seriously hope I don't have to on my wedding.
I do! FI's parents are paying for most of it... but it makes me sick when I think of spending $150 for a bouquet etc... it makes me sick when I think of the amount of money FI's parents have agreed to spend... and it's not even MY money! FI says I am too practical. :)
That's the thing. We aren't having an expensive wedding and no one is going into debt, just saving as we go hence the long engagement of 15 months. I'm not sold on the person who is doing my hair either. He's my hairstylist and I've been trying to find a way to get rid of him, but my mom goes to him too and she's been going to him for 10 years and I've been going there for almost six. Mom and I were getting our hair cut one day and he said, "Well, I could do your hair and I'd just charge you for a style, so, like $30!" Mom looked at me, he looked at me and I felt like there was no way to say no. Problem, he can't style my hair for sh*t. Definitely no makeup going on there either---just a hair salon.
Forgot to say, I had never heard of a DW until I started reading here on WB. Except for my mom and her husband, no one else would have been able to come to the wedding if we did that so it was out. No grandparents, no FI's parents, nothing.....so we had to do the more traditional thing minus the church.
We are spending money on things that are going to reduce our stress the weekend of the wedding. I don't feel bad about this, because I know it will make a difference in my (and my Mom's) mood and stress level during our wedding day (and day before).
For example, I had planned on DIY flowers, but the more we thought about the more we didn't want to stress over it that weekend. Luckily, we found that one of our grocery stores does bouquets and arrangements for half the price of a traditional florist.
Wedding make-up... I plan on getting it done... but that's to help me feel bridal and for long-lasting pictures (I also have a higher budget than you). Again... if it will stress you out to do your own or you won't feel right not getting it done, then get it done. Maybe you could ask around to your friends or family whether someone is good at make-up. This may be one of those things that you'll feel "bridal" as long as somone else does it (rather than yourself).
I've found myself "entranced" by the all the possibilities in wedding planning sometimes, but at the end of the day, I remind myself to take a step back, really evaluate what is truly important to me and my FI.
I think as long as you pick things or make decisions that make you happy, they are not a waste. The total cost of the whole day can seem overwhelming (ahhh!) but it's not money thrown into the wind.
@Steak: Yeah, I definitely want to feel bridal for sure. I don't want it feel like just a normal day. Unfortunately I live in a town with no family or friends. We don't know anyone here so that makes it hard for any sort of recommendations and it doesn't seem like a lot of people on WB are from here in Colorado Springs either.
@PinkPinstripes: I think for me, the only that is important is our ceremony. I've felt like that for a long time. The reception won't have a DJ (don't think they are worth the money) so the reception will be very weird I'm sure for the guests since they are used to big blow out receptions. Even the photos aren't important to me because I'm not going to want them up in the house---the whole self-conscious thing about how I look and won't like them bit---it sucks I feel this way and I don't know what to do about it.
I meant to say... ask if one of your friends or family could do your make-up. At my friend's wedding, one of my fellow bridesmaids did my mascara for me... just that little bit of "extra" make-up made me feel as if I had been completely done up. Of course, my every day make-up is very simple... so small changes go a long way.
We are in the very early stages of planning. I knew our budget was going to pretty small which is fine since we are only have 25 guests and not a lot of the extra stuff.
For the heck of it I started an excel budget worksheet. I started plugging in the numbers I knew and I started seeing my budget decreasing as I put makeup cost and bouquet cost. I just can't justify it.
I will have lots of time to practice doing my make-up and testing it out. Plus I don't think my time schedule will really allow me to have someone do it.
I will be doing my own decorating and setting up. I really don't want to have my make-up done before that and risk ruining it with sweating. I won't have much time between decorating and trying to get myself ready. I'll probably have my hair done in the morning and just put a scarf over it to help protect it.
As far as my bouquet, I used to make them for friends. I feel pretty comfortable with doing one from silk flowers to save cost.
@Steak: Oh, yeah, no. My sister doesn't wear much makeup at all and my Mom, well, yeah, not a good idea because I keep telling her she needs to wear different colors---bless her! I don't have a bridal party and basically the only people coming to our wedding is family---just not an option. I also wear a fair bit of makeup everyday because I have horrible undereye circles (white girl here with major allergies---get enough water and sleep and it doesn't matter). I also usually have the redness here and there and stuff.
I felt the same way - that these things seem to be a waste of money. I kept telling ppl that I could do my own makeup, or find someone cheaper. Everyone told me not to... they felt that I should get pampered on my day, so I skipped out on the more expensive makeup/hair person I was thinking of (she costs $350 for the bride), and thought maybe if I look for cheaper artists, I would be ok. 4 trials later, and I could not manage to find someone i like. She got booked up and I was left with choosing a mediocre artist. It was one of my wedding regrets.
I now realized that it was worth it to just pay more for someone who is good and save myself all that stress and money spent on trials with artists that I didn't really like.
I guess I also thought about how it would have been if I had eloped. I would have saved so much money. My thought is, if I were to do it again, if I decided to have a nice wedding, then i would spend money on the nicer things, especially if they saved me from stress. When you DIY on anything, you will experience some stress, unless you have a lot of time on your hands.
Otherwise, if I didn't want to spend/waste this money, an elopement would have been great!
Anyways, hope my story helps with your decision.
My approach was to cut down on items but not to skimp on those we did decide to go with. So I'm spending a small fortune on my hair and make up and the same for my mom - but we went with a cheap new photographer. Obviously, no one can make those trade off but you because what's importat to you will vary. But don't feel like it's a waste if it's going to either save you stress or make you really happy. If you really want that magic make up artist - it might well be worth it - $500 is a small part of 8k. And the whole point of having a wedding is to be really happy in the presence of family and friends.
@curly sue - i know those things are expensive, when you compare them to what things NORMALLY cost. But I think that things that you can't do yourself are worth spending on, or things that don't make SENSE for you to do, when someone else can do it better and take less time doing it. i paid a ton (to me) for hair and make up but goodness - i'm so thankful not to have had worried about that. sit in the chair, drink this champagne, eat this food, voila. I would have paid double, looking back. These things aren't a waste of money - they're why you're saving up!
Ever since I have joined here and have read all the crazy stories about how much your weddings are costing some of you Bee's, I've been considering eloping more seriously.
I just can't believe how much it costs for wedding staples. Heck, a dress, cake, and flowers alone can run you a few grand. That's not including venue, food, photography, music/entertainment, announcements/invites, etc... I'm sorry, but I just don't have thousands of dollars to drop on something that will last but a few hours of one day of my life.
I totally see the flip side of the coin too. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE weddings and I think they are a VERY important day to celebrate with loved ones. I also believe that weddings should be whatever the bride and groom wants. I am just speaking from my financial standpoint.
Based off my family situation, it's very likely that I will be funding my own wedding. And with all those dollar signs in mind, the idea of even an intimate wedding turns me off. Hell, it's hard enough to pay our everyday bills alone, let alone foot wedding expenses.
For those Bees who are fortunate enough to have family members pay for their weddings, they are very, VERY lucky. And for those Bees who are paying for their own weddings, more power to them! I think that's awesome that a lot of you are working so hard to give yourselves your dream wedding, and you should have it be everything you want it to be.
For me though, I have been leaning closer and closer to just running away and getting married somewhere on a beach. I'll still have a decent dress, a bouquet, and pictures, but it will be at a fraction of the cost. I also think it's romantic-- just me and my love. We'll probably send a nice little note in the mail announcing our nuptials, but nothing elaborate. Maybe even a small dinner with family and close friends, who knows.I just figure it saves us thousands of dollars and tremendous stress and time from planning. I'm kind of excited about the idea! :)
I completely understand what you are talking about. We are about a year and a half away and are just starting to plan. I will admit it - I am cheap. I look at things and say "well I don't really need that" or "I could get that somewhere cheaper". I look for cheaper prices and never buy it. My wedding is one of the most important days in my and my FI's life and I feel terrible for feeling so cheap. I know once I start actively buying things, I will have to be nudged into it. In the end though, I feel that it will all be worth it. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
Do you have a local cosmetology school around you? Maybe inquire if a girl there could do it for you? Or, do you have any friends that are good at makeup? I am not a professional by any means but I did/do my friends/sister's makeup for special occasions. I have done my sister's makeup and all of her friends for each year of her semi-formal and prom (she's quite a bit younger). If not look into a cosmetology school. Also, you might save some money if the makeup artist uses your makeup, and you just go out and buy whatever you need. That way, you'll at least get to keep the product. I am sure you could get a student to do it for $50-60 bucks, which is totally worth it to have your pics look good for your wedding.
I can't really relate to wasting money since I am not engaged yet, but hopefully it will all be worth it in the end! Good luck and congrats
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While my parents are helping with the wedding costs, my FI and I are contributing just as much...our budget is under $8,000 if that helps you gauge what kind of wedding I'm having. Anyway, lately I've been feeling weird about spending money on things because I feel like it's a waste. I'd love to have my makeup done for the wedding, but $200, seriously? Or $125 for a bouquet and a simple bout? Um, don't think so. Three sunflowers in a mason jar (I provide that) and wrap with ribbon (I also provide) arranged by a grocery store florist for $20 each? Are you kidding me? While I'm DIYing our invites because there is no way we could afford someone to do them since I'm pretty particular about how they look, I just don't think I can do my makeup and flowers the day of the wedding. My everyday makeup is okay but definitely not bride worthy I think! While I have money in the budget to spend I'm to the point that I want to tell the wedding industry to cram it becuase it's a load of crap the prices they charge just because it's a wedding!
Does anyone else feel this way? You could spend the money but you are just so ticked you don't want to cave?