Post # 1
My good friend who is also a BM has just gotten into a situation.
Her and a longtime friend and someone who she’s had feelings for over the last 4 years have just decided to start dating. Problem is, they will NEVER be allowed to be together or especially get married. He is Muslim and will be thrust into an arranged marriage, and she is Buddhist. Neither parents would ever approve unfortunately. They’re secretly dating and will not introduce each other to their friends and especially not their families. They have both decided that they want to be happy in the moment, even if that means extreme heartbreak in the possibly near future.
I’m not looking for advice, because I’ve already decided to be happy for them, and to keep my opinions to myself. What I’m wondering is if anyone has been in a similar situation or knows anyone who has been in this situation and what happened after they broke up?
My friend said to me the other day “you’re so lucky that you can be with the one you love.” and “I’m thanking you in advance for being there for me when the sh*t hits the fan.” I can’t help but feel so sad for her, but all I can do is be happy and trust that she’s making the right decision for her at this time.
Post # 3
I don’t know anyone who has ever been in that situation before so I can’t really offer that much advice… but I agree, it’s sad they can’t be together publicly. I think you’re doing the right thing by being there for her and supporting her throughout the relationshp.
Post # 4
@repip21: Thanks I hope I am doing the right thing!
Post # 5
She is very blessed to have you for a friend.
What would happen if they just ran away together and got married and had their lives away from their families? Would they be willing to give their families up for each other? I have never known anyone it this situation, but in this day and age, there must be something they could do, so that they could be happy together.
Post # 6
@noritake22: Thank you! That was my initial reaction – run away together!! But they both respect their families, and neither one are willing to convert religions. I just can’t imagine being in this situation, but I’m not looking forward to the potential heartbreak 🙁
Post # 7
my best friend since second grade is engaged to a muslim man. he does not practice his religion but his family (2 brothers a sister and his parents) still do. his dad lives in palestine and the rest of his family is scattered around the us, anyways, his siblings have become very accepting of my friend. his parents on the otherhand, have not…. i think they are stuck in their ways and will probably never change. they refuse to even visit their son if she is there. its so sad 🙁 they are invited to the wedding but we doubt they will come. her fiancee has basically accepted the fact that his parents will disown him if he goes through with the marriage and he is ready to do that for my friend. her family loves him and has taken him under their wing so i think that helped him to make a desicion regarding his future. its a tough spot to be in and all you can do is be supportive, and it sounds like you are!
Post # 8
Awww I hope they will find a way to work in out somehow in the future. Love conquer all barriers and I hope they discover this.
Just keep being a good friend.
Post # 9
My roommate in college was in a similar situation. Her bf of many years was forced into an arranged marriage. She was completely heartbroken. The weekend he left for india to marry our friends all surrounded her with love and tried our best to keep her busy and attempted to keep her mind off of him the best we could. It took her a very long time to heal. She later met a wonderful man and is now very happily married with a beautiful daughter. She said looking back and even knowing the pain it caused she wouldn’t change a thing. She is thankful for the time that they did get to have together.
My cousin is irish catholic and his gf is tibetian. For years her family refused to meet him and wouldn’t even let him their house. Happily, recently they have started to come around and finally invited him over to meet and have even gone to my aunt and uncle’s home. She said that she thinks that they realized he wasn’t going anywhere and that they might lose her if they didn’t give him a chance.
So I have witnessed both side of the coin and all I can suggest is:
Being a good friend is all you can do. Just be there for her!
Post # 10
This sounds like quite the love story.
I dated a guy of a different religion but he kept it hidden from me. He wouldnt let me meet his family and I thought this was strange so I did some digging. I was so mad that he had lied to me I broke up with him.
Post # 11
I’m happy to hear the stories some of you have! I’m a hopeless romantic, and I want them to find a way to work it out so some of the stories are giving me hope!! I guess we will just see what the future holds 🙂
Post # 12
My best friend and MOH is Muslim (although she doesn’t practice) and she is dating a Catholic guy. They are absolutely perfect for each other. She is 24 and technically not even allowed to date yet, so it is going to be crazy when she finally tells her parents, which she is planning to do here soon. They have been together for 2 years and plan to move to Germany in about a year so he can go to grad school there. She wants to tell her parents before then. I feel so bad that she is risking getting disowned over this, so I totally know where you are coming from. It’s just not fair that religion tears people apart like that. Hopefully everything works out with your friend 🙂